Me? I still believe in paradise. But now at least I know it's not some place you can look for.

Sometimes I wonder what things I am free to do. Y'know, things that normally people do whenever they wish. Like be wherever they want to, leave the house anytime of the day and have fun, eat out alone or with friends, pick any food anywhere when hungry, be with the crowd without fear of getting harrassed... the ordinary things. Every now and then, I dream to experience the common. Be just like everybody else. And even for a short moment, forget about who I am and my fears & the dangers out there.

"What does the world expect from you?" -- a pretty tough question for me. Honestly, I have no idea. Who knows? What is "the world", in the first place? Is it just one or two or three important persons in my life? Is it composed of only my family, relatives and friends? Is it all the people within the community I belong to? Is there a general collective expectation the Earth expects from me? Who are expecting something from me, by the way?

I believe I have some sort of responsibilities to people who I know. All them have some expectations. Do I have to act on each of their expectations? Does a man live to meet these expectations and call himself a failure for each unmet ones? Is it one's fault if he don't meet a certain expectation and cause another person to stumble?

Maybe it's just my deep thoughts why I came up with these questions. Cause it's only when you already know your life's purpose that you start asking countless questions. Or, could it be just me trying to find fault in myself in stead of just accepting the fact that people choose to fail? That people choose to be who they rather be?

Last night, there was this urge within me to stay up. Something was dragging me out of the house. An unexplained urge to be outside my small world. I didn't want to sleep just yet and I wasn't at all dozy nor exhausted. My head was a bit aching after the fellowship and long mall walk, but, my body refused to rest. Just after I finished writing my yesterday's journal, an opportunity to answer the urge came. Thought 'twas a good reason for me to get out of the house to take a few minutes walk.

Totsie was to pick up Jam (his girlfriend) from her night job in a fast food resto just 15 mins away from my place. That was minutes past midnight. I decided to go with him together with two other friends. We didn't walk to this fast food chain where Jam might already be waiting as planned. Instead, we took a jeep. When we reached our destination, Jam's shift was still not over. We had to wait but we decided to just stay outside since all of us were still full and we all didn't want to be tempted to have some bites. Didn't think it'll take long.

We were just walking around the first few mins while we wait. Looking around if there's anything nice to see or buy. Then, we ended up just standing in front of the fast food resto for longer time. More minutes passed.... a lil later, as we stood beside the glass door, a group of men stepped out of the ffr. One of them (wearing a black undershirt) stared at me as they walked passed all 4 of us. I gave him a short glance then looked away. Shortly, I noticed he was still nearby. Giving quick glances at me while talking to his companions & at times to someone over his phone. I knew he was interested in me, but I didn't mind. These things are nothing new. And for that night alone, there had been so many short and long glimpses directed at me for me to even give a fuss.

After a couple of minutes, I noticed his presence again. Longer distance than earlier, though. Then, they walked away once more. A few minutes later, he's back again but this time, with more companions... outnumbering us. They all went inside the ffr pretending they're making another purchase... they kept doing this... appearing and reappearing but changing the routine each time...until eventually, as if trying to surround us each successive instance. Each time he reappeared, there were more men with him. I was keeping my mind away from the sitch. Didn't want to be scared and ruin my night. Until, one o'them stood next to one of my friends to my right. At that time, I was not yet worried. Trying to dismiss the idea that he (the guy in black u-shirt) would go any far only because he's interested in me.

My friend was holding on to the pepper spray inside his pocket. Prepared for what might transpire. I was still calm... not understanding what was happening. Shortly, I figured this guy who stood beside my friend had a sharp weapon with him w/c he readied. GOD is so good, though, HE did something about the situation. An acquaintance of Totsie came who happened to be a friend of the gang. He tried stopping them from what they planned to do and insisted they all go home. They did.

Once they were gone, the ffr guard talked to us and invited us inside and told us the group was ganging up on us. So, what we were all thinking were correct. We all tried to be quiet of what we thought about the entire thing avoiding panic among us. Turned out we were all thinking the same.

We decided to wait for Jam inside. At that point, I was already upset and scared. I couldn't believe we were a split second away from trouble. All those times, I tried real hard to not burst into tears.

I thought it was over. After Totsie ordered cups of ice cream and some fries, they were back again. The number multiplied. About 10 or more. We were like dead meat surrounded by hungry tigers. Trapped inside without escape. The manager of the ffr was kind enough to offer help. She was, in fact, the one who ordered the guard to let us in. She personally spoke to us she's gonna have someone call authorities for us to file complaints and to make sure we can go home safely. She did. And I sincerely thank her from my heart for the help she offered. Just I wasn't able to get her name.

A few minutes later, the guard came back to us and told us the policemen were already waiting outside. We were scared to leave the place but, he said policemen are not allowed inside. I understood why. So, one of my friends stood up and headed to attend to the policemen. That moment, I already broke into tears. They had to keep reassuring me he'll be fine.

Not long after, we were all asked to come out. We were let inside the police mobile, which was parked just some steps away. A few minutes talk, then we were escorted home. 'Twas such a relief we reached home in one piece.

I was scared. And all that happened to me in the past were relived. How most of my male friends and some admirers were harmed because of me... the stalkings... the freak exhibitionists... some of the many reasons why I shut my doors to the world. Why I view the world as an unsafe place to live in.

Now, I can only be thankful no one was harmed. Although, it's still really not over, I'd rather think it is. Jam and Totsie are still frequenting that place. Jam's still working in the same branch. Who knows they won't be back to get information about me? How I wish they never knew Totsie, Jam and I know each other, so there won't be any reason for them to go back there. But, I'd still hope that it's all just for that night. That they woke up today not remembering anything from last night.

"People do the terrible things they do because they're scared. "

I have this idea about why people do the terrible things they do, same reason little kids push each other on the schoolyard. If you're the one doing the pushing, then you're not going to be the one who gets pushed. If you're the monster, then nothing will be waiting in the shadows to jump out at you. It's pretty simple really. People do the terrible things they do because they're scared.

This is a pretty good rationale as to why people are mean, rude and disagreeable, although, it can never justify anyone's acts. People hide their fears under a tough character. Thinking it's better this way than be stepped on. They refuse to appear weak. It is better to be superior among the rest. Roughness of character means strength. But, in the process, they create derangement. If this will become the standard, then, everyone will all try to be bullies. No one will be willing to give. Everyone will be after taking. Because it's damn too easy to get what anyone wants with just one pretty good excuse -- because they're scared.

Scared to be hurt. Scared to be overtaken by someone much better. Scared to be criticized. Scared to be without anyone. Scared to be left behind. Scared to be talked off. Scared to be called yellow-belly. Scared to not have enough. Scared his ego will get insulted. And there goes an endless list.

When people get scared, they do a lot of different things. They fight, or run. They destroy the thing they’re afraid of, or they put a lot of distance between it and them.

Don't make my mistake, kid. Don't follow orders your whole life. Think for yourself.

Funny how I spend time creating or pimping blogs. Like I currently have ... what? ... 6 blogs to maintain. Actually, more than 6. I didn't include hi5, bebo, myLot and others. A new hobby? Don't even have time for hobbies. My daily routine has been work-eat-work-sleep. Lucky if I can find time playing with Joel in the morning. He's an early riser. Cute. Joel's, by the way, a 3-yr-old boy. Think I mentioned about him in my previous post.

My life has been work-sick-work-sick. My only relaxation's attending small group & fellowship every Sunday and going grocery. When am so intoxicated with work and stress I take a few minutes walk. Just around the neighborhood. How I wish there's a nearby park. A place where there's all green. *day dreams*

Just recently, I included old & new activities in my routine. Old ones like writing journals for one. This time, though, I note down all activities I do and their effects on me. My diet, my allergies, people I meet & how I feel about them, my frustrations (in bullet form), what I don't like about myself, resolutions, plans and many others... Thought this can help me a lot as I will be more acquainted with who I really am. A little twist to writing a diary. The one am using now is a handy black notebook. I haven't given it a name. There's a need to mention which notebook as I bought two new notebooks and a planner. And I still have like not less than 5 notebooks sitting around my drawers and desks. hehe. Am a collector btw.

Aside from Sunday fellowship, I am now part of a small group. It was a prayer answered for me as I have really been yearning to be in any group to help my spiritual growth. I have met a few new people like couples Donna & Wruel (small group leaders), Cathy and the hubby (I forgot the name), Kate & husband Jhon, Mische and Jane. Can only name a few as I can't remember everyone. Should write down names next time. On the second thought, won't I look weird?

So far, everything's fine. I hope it'll continue to be this way. And am also keeping my fingers crossed that this is my time to have real friends.

Can't squeeze working out into my schedule but, I MUST! Discipline...discipline...discipline!!! The least that I can do is to stand for a few minutes after each meal. But, whenever I am pressured with work, I don't get to do anything else but it. *sigh*

Every morning, whenever I hear Joel playing outside, I'd leave my post and play with him and some other kids in the neighborhood. About an hour. Sometimes, I invite him over here and we play whatever. I tend to lavish him with sweets. Hope it's not bad. I so LOVE kids.

...oh it's already December. Barely noticed that days had gone by so fast. Evident I have been too busy to even tell what day is it. Well, I hope to enjoy Christmas season.


Buh-bye for now...

"It was a very lonely life. And it was not a life I would ever wanna live over again"

For sometime now, I have been a fan of the tv network CI. It could be for my fascination to investigative stuffs. Dunno where I got this interest from, actually. Can't tell why I am interested at all. All I can remember's that even as a kid I had been into gumshoe/mystery kinda plots. My kind of books were the Agatha Christie, Nancy Drew types.

Maybe Certainly it's not only me. There are probably thousands or millions in the world like myself who are into mystery stories. I dunno what really my reason is, but, the simplest explanation I can think of is, I am captivated by things that draw curiosity. Anything that challenges the rationale.

I particularly like intellectual people. Anyone who can impress me with their brilliance. The know-one's-way-around types. Agree with me, they're extremely interesting. Or, maybe, not everyone will agree. Of course. It's probably personal interest. Or could be, I am simply a geek(?).

One particular real-life story I became so interested in was that of Esther Reed's. She's such a bright girl with emotional baggage, who knows? She's just a girl and she managed to escape all crimes she committed until she was arrested this year some time in February.

Esther assumed a missing girl's (Brooke Henson) identity. She was able to fraudulently get into different state universities using another person's name for however she was able to do it. It's amazing, isn't it? She outwitted thousands of people. I can only wonder how her mind works. I am not yet done with my readings but I have seen some vid interviews of people close to her.

Who can really tell if she's the femme counterpart of Frank W. Abagnale Jr.? How did she come up with the crimes she committed and was not caught until this year? If not for the on-going police investigation for the mysterious evanescence of Brooke Henson in 1999, her own disappearance in the same year won't ever be known.

I am attracted in learning how she was able to work around the sitches she herself created. To start with, it's not Henson's identity she snatched first. There were victims who trusted her and, in fact, were her close friends. She had already used several other names before she even came up with Brooke Henson and other more names later on. To sum all her crimes up, she involved herself in identity thefts, fraudulent student loans and phony Social Security numbers.

It appears that she had emotional issues as a child. She even mentioned once in a letter these words... "I feel like I had this wall surrounding my soul and I couldn't get out and nothing could get in." She felt this when she was 14 as indicated in the letter.

Could it be she has no sense of what is right and what is wrong? So many questions. And all those I want to find out the answers for...

Share if anyone knows something, please. *waiting mode*

Signing out now.

I simply want to live the way I need to live.

My 5th Ghost Story

Last month.

Late night work again. Young Hippo had to stay up the entire night, as well, to finish a project. Binkie had already signed off. It's just me and YH left awake. Still a relief, somehow, that I didn't have to be alone the rest of the night.

There were movements behind me as if someone was walking all throughout the dead of night. At times, the movement came from my bed. It's like someone's gotten up and walked past me. (My bed is just right behind me when facing the desktop computer. ) At one point, I even saw a shadow on the wall to my left (through peripheral vision). Like a shadow of 'someone' that actually stood from the bed. I, of course, checked who might be it. There was no one. I looked at YH who was using the other desktop pc to my right. He was focused and it didn't seem like he noticed anything. I tried not minding all the spooky noises and went back to what I was doing.

From time to time, though, the sound and feel of footsteps behind me kept disturbing my concentration. There were even times I'd make a sudden turn to my right as strong sense of "someone's " presence was felt. I wonder if YH even noticed I was jumpy. He seemed to be too engrossed with what he was doing. I, too, was focused and I even set the volume of my headset to the highest but I still heard and felt the weird motions around the room.

@ around 6am we finally called it a day. YH already left the room, while I set myself to bed.

A few minutes of lying down but the sandman hasn't paid a visit yet. I had to keep twisting and turning trying to get the right position that could help me get my most deserved doze. It's already 7 in the morning that time. Curtains were closed so the sunlight was unwelcome, but I really couldn't fall to sleep.

When my consciousness was finally about to leave, I heard someone typing. I didn't bother checking who it was. Thought maybe YH forgot something and went back to redo his project. I tried getting back to sleep, but, the sound of the computer keyboard won't allow me. to For whatever reason, I turned to the computer's direction and looked who was using it. I was surprised to see no one. My heart started throbbing fast, but I was too tired and groggy to scurry out of the room so I just faced the other direction and tried to get some snooze. The sound of the keyboard persisted for a few more minutes and then, gone.

After another more minutes ...no matter how sleepy I was, I still couldn't sleep so, I decided to just browse eBay. Until Gloria arrived around 9am.

At 10am, the plumber who was to fix the leak on the kitch's roof arrived and Gloria had to attend to him. But, before G did, she encouraged me to get some sleep. I thought, yeah, I better. So, I retired to bed. A few minutes of lying down, I finally was able to fall asleep. Just seconds after, though, I heard a male voice talking right to my face and I was awoken. Yet, when I opened my eyes, there was no one. I thought maybe twas Hippo, so I looked around. No one else in the room, though. Then, I heard Hippo's voice coming from downstairs. It's definitely not him.

Later that night, I asked YH if he had felt anything bizaare the other night. He told me he heard someone talked while we were both busy. A male voice resembled Hippo's. So, he turned to look but he found no one. He added, he even checked if it was Binkie but Binkie was soundly asleep. It scared him, he said but he didn't want to scare me so he didn't bother telling me. *whew*

Whatever that might be, clearly the aim was to not allow me to sleep. Grr.

Why doesn't anybody love me? Doesn't anybody care about Sid the sloth?

God has been very good to me. And am not saying this only because it's a Sunday. I feel so blessed that HE is working in me. With all the pressures, stress, problems I encounter daily, I still can feel HIS love and there's joy inside my heart. Have realised so many things and am overwhelmed with so much gratitude that HE's been helping me get out from the bondage I got myself into.

I used to believe so many myths related to Christianity. I never fully understood the extent of HIS love for me, but HE kept reaching out to me and told me to not be harsh on myself. I can never be anything more than a human -- capable of committing mistakes. Nobody is perfect. I've always known this but I kept trying to meet perfection, although at the back of my head, I've always belived that only excellence is what I can reach.

Growing up with criticism is tough. Have said this a few times before in this blog how my Dad had been such a critic to me. Appreciating nothing about me. Not even the greatest of my achievements. But, it doesn't end just there. Around me were people who looked at me with the same critical eyes. Every move was censured. I do this, there's judgment. I do that, another judgment. What tough luck, almost everyone I met along my journey was finding fault in me. To the point when I started doubting myself, "am I still true to myself? ... am I really this way or am only acting just to escape another negative remark?"

I've always believed that when you're kind, pleasant, nice, generous to others, you're safe. They will reciprocate the same good treatment. Thought those are reasons enough to be at peace with everyone. I was so wrong. People have too many issues. They never run out of something to say. Some would deem you as phoney. Would talk behind your back and would crush your repute. Some would accuse you of having ulterior motive. Some would treat you the exact opposite. Some would abuse or take advantage, but behind your back would talk ill of you. This I can't decipher. Where is the truth in the golden rule?

Indeed, "mine's a life with more questions than answers."

There are too many things I don't understand. Why did my parents have to make me a good person? I used to be a spoiled brat. Stubborn. My turning point happened at a very young age. I used to be bad, bratty and only cared about what I wanted. There was this girl classmate of mine back in nursery (yes, that young) who wanted to be my friend. She went wherever I was. She wanted to belong but I didn't like her. I can't remember what my reason was, but I didn't want her as a friend. One day, she kept talking to me as we walked to our classroom trying to get my attention. I got really annoyed and pushed her away. She fell on the ground. But, unlike the bratty kids I see on movies, I didn't feel good with what I did. I felt so guilty and ashamed of myself. I couldn't believe the evil thing I did. When I was back to my senses, I gave her my hand and helped her out.

I don't anymore remember her name. Not even her face. But, I will never forget how I had been to her when she was only being nice to me. I hope to meet her again so I can tell her how GOD used her to change my heart.

Since then, I strived not to hurt anyone's feelings. I know, this sounds rather exaggerrated. How can a kid think this way? I won't insist if you rather doubt the truth of this story, but this was my turning point. I told myself I will never do anything that would hurt another. This was with the help of the environment I grew up in (a Baptist School).

This brings me to another question... "now that I am a nice person, why is everybody hurting me?"

...and to another... "why can't they treat me the same way as I treat them?"

...and to another... "why are they mean to good-natured people and kind to those who can't do anything good?"

...and to another... "what is the golden rule for?"

...and to a lot more... endless questions.

Yeah, I sound so naive. I am. My left foot is still on the field of innocence. Too many things I don't understand about the world. Truth is, the world is such a wonder to me. Too many ironies. Too many injustices. It's true what says in the Bible (a king's observation), "This is all I have learned: GOD made us plain and simple, but we have made ourselves very complicated - Ecclesiastes 7:29."

My most favorite book in the Bible is Proverbs. I can't be self-righteous and say I have followed every teachings I learned from that book, but, I strived. Teachings like, "Help your brother and he will protect you like a strong city wall, but if you quarrel with him, he will close his doors to you." I probably have not done this all the time, but I helped a number of people but they closed their doors to me still. Now, you don't have to tell me another verse in the Bible to tell me I should never expect anything in return. I never. I only hope to be treated properly. Don't hurt me purposely. Is that too hard as a return?

This does not mean I am working so hard on following all the Bible rules (like a complete fanatic). It's more of complete change of heart and thanks to that girl from my vivid memory of nursery -- I turned into a person with a heart of sincere compassion. But, with how people have treated me so far, I feel there must be something wrong with me. I can't help but question, "am I truly sincere? Why do they see me as phoney? Why do they do me bad?" ...and there goes another list of questions.

I sound weird or depressive or bitter... you're thinking? You hafta hear my stories first before you start judging my words. Or better yet, be in my shoes. I am talking by experience.

All these make me nothing but frustrated. Everywhere seems to be wrong way.

But, GOD, HE understood my dilemma. HE saw my struggles. HE acknowledge I can never be anything more than myself. HE expects nothing higher than what I can do. And it's such a liberating experience to know that I don't have to be harsh on myself. I don't have to blame myself all the time for every person that treated me bad. It's not always my fault. HE embraced me and told me, "struggle no more".

GOD works in ways so divine. My questions may never find answers in my lifetime. They may even multiply by the day. Who cares? Now that I have an understanding of GOD's assurance, I can still go on, if not totally freed from injustice, at least, I can put my faith in HIM that I am not alone and if no one can see the small and big things I do, there is HIM. Praise GOD.

Happy Sunday, all.

My feelings? About ten years ago, I hid them somewhere and havent been able to find them.

Yes, I promised this is going to be a month-long ghost story telling session but I found something more interesting to share (and I don't have enough time to scribble, so...). A video showing a cool egg trick. (*sigh* How I miss eating egg. FYI: One weird fact about me, I LOVE any egg recipe. Sunny-side-Up being on top of the list and all kinds of omelet.) Enjoy.







Cheerio!

"They mostly come at night. Mostly."

Thought about it. It's indeed dupery ...nothing else. Am referring to the ghost hitch-hiker vid (from my previous post). Here's why (my personal point of view):

1st, the face of the girl was clear on the vid. Which made me doubt. Either the ghost shows up to humans and be invisible on cam OR invisible to humans and appears on cam. Dunno, of course, but I think this is more typical.

2nd, the ghost on the vid showed jumpy gestures and expressed emotions. Think with me. When one dies and becomes a specter, does he/she carry the same character as when he/she was alive? The girl apparition seemed to be meek.

3rd, spirits are still. They don't make too many movements so they appear strange. And because they can anyway pass through walls and everything, they don't need to open the car door to get inside. They can just pop up right to anyone's face.

4th, ghosts don't do anything to spook anyone (e.g. make faces like what that supposed-to-be ghost did at the end of the vid). They usually appear and disappear in the blink of an eye.

5th, if you even noticed, the 'visitant' was holding her face as if applying something on just before she talked about her fate. Moments later, she already have that scary look with the scars and whatever else on her face. hmmm *raised eyebrow*

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My 4th Ghost Story


Twas already around 3AM past. Was working on a school project to be submitted later. There was already an eerie feel since everybody went to bed one by one. Like something's moving (walking) behind me.

Was downstairs. The desktop computer was positioned against the stairway so I was facing it. To my right was the family room. To my left was a small room and farther left was the kitchen and farthermost was the laundry area beside the bathroom. The motion noises were coming from that side. Whatever that was walking around came from the laundry area then walked passed me to the fam room. (There was a screen door and a wood door to the kitchen from the laundry area but those didn't open to let the spirit in, yet the sound of footsteps emanated from there. Same reason why I mentioned in my introduction that ghosts need not open the door to get in anywhere they wish.) Was sure there was no one else awake but myself. So, I convinced myself "must be the wind", although, the sensation it was giving me was something else. You'd always have a hint what it is.

I went on. Determined to finish the paper. That unearthly entity, though, kept walking behind me. There were even times it seemed breathing into the back of my ear. Horripilation here and there but nothing could shake me for I was decisive I was going to finish and pass the paper same day. 'It' was as decisive as I was, though. When 'it' couldn't shake me with all the movements it'd done, it brilliantly thought of something else.

...While I was focused on the keyboard, "it" switched the light off. The switch was just behind me. I heard the sound -- "tic". Next thing, the light was off and it's only the monitor that's providing light where I was. I was motionless for a few secs. Finally, I gathered the courage to look behind to check maybe it's just mom. Mom, at times, walks very quietly... she has light feet. But, mom was not around... I was already sure. With all my skin hair raised and my heart throbbing hard, I scurried upstairs and locked myself in my room without turning even the monitor off.

I hear them in the morning and the evening. They're coming into the shower.

I wonder if anyone of you knows how to make the blogger post area wider. Been working on increasing the width of my Green Room during my spare time. I don't like the spaces on both sides anymore. Everything I tried was nothing but futile attempts. It's starting to frustrate me. Can anyone lend me a hand? All virtuosos out there, pls? Am using scribe. And one more request, pls don't tell me I better change the theme cause it's a chore to put all the chicklets (and all that I had already incorporated on the sides) back.

My Multiply Page already has a different and BIGGER look. Am happy. Only blogger is giving me a hard time and I don't have all the time in the world to learn more CSS techniques. Still trying to figure out how to pimp my new Multiple layout as one of my reliable critiques said the character doesn't have any resemblance to me. But, am pretty certain that character will have to stay there a lil longer as the next weeks will be busier. Hafta keep my fingers crossed, at the same time, that I won't get any sick-er than this.

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So, what d'ya think about the ghost hitch hiker vid, huh?! Someone told me it's hoax. Can't spend any more time viewing it once again. Up to you. Decide. Don't wanna bother.

Oh, but Pastor Julius Fabregas mentioned about supernatural entities as deceiving us into straying from GODLY truth. The devil is using such things/situations in an attempt to lead us astray. You have probably heard the supernatural/after death stories folks would pass on from generation to generation. They have actually become beliefs or superstitions such as the one Pastor Julius mentioned in the service earlier ('earlier' is actually technically 'yesterday'... it's already Monday now 1:38am in my digiclock) -- an elf fell for a teenage house helper but was rejected. The latter suddenly became very ill and died eventually at a very young age (about 15-17). But, if you come to think of it, this is the easiest explanation and no one would bother asking or arguing more. Quick escape. Whatever.

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My 3rd Ghost Story


One of the scariest experiences I've had was when I was in grade school. Being a natural geek oops... I mean, as a studious stud, I stayed up all night to study. One night, while I was typing a research paper for the next day's class, I heard something very freakish. It was coming from the bathroom. My room was next to my parents to the right. The bathroom was beside their room to their left. The sound was faint at first so I tried dismissing it. Until I can already hear it clearly. Someone was walking. What's frightening was, I was damn sure twas not mom or dad or anyone in the house with us. Plus, as this thing walked, it dragged something like a ball and chain with it. As it gets nearer and nearer my room, the sound became more and more terrifying.

It finally reached the door of my room. Stopped right in front of it. There was silence for a few secs. I was just still trying to sense if there's anyone outside. A violent knock on the door then madly tried opening the knob. Made my blood run cold. I didn't know what to do and I couldn't make any sound. Next thing I can remember ...found myself on the bed under a blanket with the typewriter beside me. It didn't stop for a few more minutes. My heart was pounding loud and fast like there's no tomorrow. I was wishing hard I just fall to sleep, but I was too terrorized. Can't remember how long it went and how was I able to fall to sleep. But, I will sure never forget that formidable experience.

Spending a few hours in the dark with these characters takes our mind off the real "boogey men" in our lives.

Was a lil confident watching programs which featured scary topics last night (just some 5 hours ago, actually. It's only 4am now) since there's 3 of us in the house. Some years back, almost every channel aired horror/ghost movies or news magazines that talked about horrifying experiences of real people for one whole week before (at times even after) Halloween. This year and the past couple of years, however, the prevalence of at-on-the-dot tv shows/programs have noticeably gone down. I wonder why.

Anyway, like what I said, I was confident enough to watch XXX (on channel 6). They featured people who have had spooky experiences in their own homes and unearthly entities on photos. Didn't finish it, though. Had to hunt for food as Mylene's not here to serve us very late dinner and very early breakfast. Thought I rather hunt than be bone lazy (translation: do what's my usual -- hit the dials for food delivery). That was around 12mn. We agreed to go out and be hunters. I wonder what the guards might be thinking they'd usually see us only around these times. bwahaha

...even watched Poltergeist vids on YT. But, I am actually skeptic about ghosts caught on tape or on still cams. Come on, there are so many photoshop mavens around who can just play the photo so it would look authentic. Dunno, it's just hard nowadays to tell a real one from a fake one.

There's this vid, though, which caught my interest. It's in a different language showing 2 guys and a gal in a car. One guy was in the back seat rolling the vcam. The girl was in the front passenger seat. Of course the other guy was driving it. Twas already dark and they're driving nowhere when they chanced upon this girl trying to get a hitch (the original vid was too long. They were driving real long).

...Pretty girl but mysterious. She looked rather restless. The 3 even argued about accommodating the girl stranger but they ended up letting her hop in. Dunno if it's effect or what but whenever the vcam was focused to the stranger, it became blurry. From the time she was in, they started asking her questions but she was trying to keep her silent answering each question with only one or two words (maybe max was 5). Because she looked troubled, the 3 asked her a few times what might be wrong. A couple of minutes more and she pointed at a particular area ahead of them and said something like this (not exact words)... "I am heading there. That's where I had an accident and died." Everybody was horrified with what she just said and what's next... the car wheels squealed, the car brake was audibly loud and the car windows broke -- a car accident.

Am not certain up to this time about the authenticity of the tape. This is the first time I have seen this so... well, am still scrutinizing it. Here, maybe you'd be interested to see for yourself...

This is the short version.

What do you think?

Another personal ghost story from me later... hopefully. *fingers crossed*

You know, it's Halloween. I guess everyone is entitled to one good scare, huh?

Have surpassed the scariest day of the year without having to encounter one more lurid sensation. hurray! A couple of days before yesterday, I was planning to be out of the house the entire night. Maybe spend the night in Star City or in a 24/7 Internet Cafe. This was after I learned everyone's gonna be out the whole weekend. Until yesterday came and I was still ill. I finally decided to conquer my fear.

I stayed home. I had to.

In fact, I was able to sleep soundly around 2AM. And what's nicer is I was able to sleep long (until around 8AM). Yeah, that's only barely 6 hours but, believe me, that's already long for me. Hippo would joke about how I'd feel so energized after getting a 5-min nap. Got this from Mom who gets only a couple or 4 hours doze on a regular basis.

Anyway, am back to continue my biz -- a month-long ghost story series.

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My 2nd Ghost Story


Staying up the entire night everyday has been a routine for me. Am used to it since as a stud, I was wide awake when everybody else was already snoring. And believe me, even I can only 'hear' uncanny sounds and can NOT see 'ghosts', such experiences could get my heart leap from my chest.

We decided to move my home office table to the window's side. Opposite the wall where it used to stay (just beside the door). For the simple reason, it can feel real eerie when the door is open and there's just dark you can see from outside. Another deeper reason was there's really something about that area.

My first night here, I already felt something different. The computer used to be under the aircondition unit where my stacks of food are positioned now. Almost opposite the bathroom and in front of the dresser where the big mirror is. There were more than 10 of us in the house since it took us the rest of the afternoon to move all the stuffs from the old place to here so, I was not scared at all; although, everyone was already asleep. Well, am naturally not fidgety let's just put it that way. For whatever reason, I am kinda brave when it comes to supernaturals. But, am not challenging anything, lemme make this clear. OR maybe am simply just skeptical. Doubtful of what experiences I had.

I was, at that time, chatting with someone. Was trying to resolve an issue and this disturbing sound kept making me turn around. Thought maybe it's just any of the hippos. It's trying to get my attention by doing "psst" twice at a time. This came from anywhere very near me like from inside or outside the bathroom, which was just behind me. At times it would come from somewhere around the door or outside the room. As usual, I did what I am good at doing -- dismissed it. But, twas persistent.

It didn't stop there. There were movements approaching me. I felt cold air at the back of my ear which caused me to make sudden turn to that direction where it came from. It's as if someone whispered right into my ear. Next thing was pilomotor reflex. Then, my heart started pounding fast. Yet, I still tried to focus more on what I was doing.

At one point, I jumped from my seat and ran to where Hippo and Binkie were sleeping. My heart was throbbing real hard. But, I couldn't even make any sound.

I ended up going back to what I was doing. Again, tried dismissing what might it be.

A few days after (think 5 days later), I was about to start work around 2am. This time around, the position of my post was right next to the door by the wall. Hippo was already around and so was Binkie. I went to my post and pulled the seat to my direction. When I was about to sit down, something pulled it away. I need not say what happened to me next. Ok, I will say it...I ended up on the floor.

Hippo helped me get up while Binkie tried hard not to laugh and asked what happened. Am sure both them saw what happened. Grrr.

Could it be a poltergeist? *bites nails*

The oldest and strongest emotion of mankind is fear. And the oldest and strongest kind of fear is fear of the unknown.

Here...am back to share with you some of my ghost stories. Very timely, I know. This is not because it's almost Halloween. So happened I have had spooky experiences the past weeks. Am a lil thankful it seized since after Pat's wedding day. Am now keeping my fingers crossed there won't be any more especially on the last day of October. *bites nails*

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My First Ghost Story

Have to make this clear ...my third eye is not open. Maybe my third ear is as I can only hear ghastly sounds. It's hard to express but am sure some of you know what I mean. Sounds that cause goosebumps.

Been working late at night lately after I started working for a Belgian client. But, usually, my ghost experiences happen around early morning...'round 4am onwards. There's no definite time in fact. But, normal hours I feel them active are between 4am-8am.

I'd usually hear girls talking not far from where my post is. Of course, hearing things ... you can still be skeptical. You can dismiss and think it could be from another room or the next building. For some time I convinced myself it's just nothing.

Later on, it's becoming intense. The talking voices become louder that they are audible even I am wearing my headset with the volume set to the highest. This brings me to my feet and I'd check the other rooms only to realize nobody's around.

At around the same time (sometimes earlier like 2am) I'd feel something walking behind me. Am damn sure there's 'something' walking as I got used to the sound and the feel of footsteps in my room. My ears are real sensitive to sounds that I can even tell who is approaching. It's definitely the same sound as when there are real persons walking around the room. Whenever I sense or hear there's movement behind me, I'd look but there's no one. At all. And definitely, it didn't come from some distance, this I am sure.

Typically, whatever that maybe, it would walk towards my direction. I'd focus more to what I am doing to intentionally ignore it. Who wants to scare oneself, right? But, you can't just do anything when 'they' truly want you to feel their presence for whatever reason. And just when they are right behind me that I'd turn around to look. But, I'd always find no one. Once I am back to my task, they'd try getting my attention again.

This is already an escalated case as during my first few days here, I only heard 'psst' usually twice, then nothing. Again, I was skeptical because there's just so many things that can produce any eerie sound.

Am not trying to make anyone believe now. It's up to you if you will.

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Not scary enough? Blame it on my delivery but, believe me, you won't ever want to experience the same. Expect for more the next days. *wink*


"Man lives in the sunlit world of what he believes to be reality. But... there is, unseen by most, an underworld. A place that is just as real but not as brightly lit. A darkside."

Most people don't take snapshots of the little things. But these are the things that make up the true picture of our lives.

Thought there will never be a chance for even just one post this month. Life only becomes busier for me by the day and should I say 'tougher'?

So many things happened the past weeks. In spite my rather boring lifestyle, some unusual things still happen. Like the eerie moments while at work for one. I will just save this story for the next post, though. Got only very short time to work on this one. Maybe I should just give a brief summary of how things went with me since my last blog post.

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Of course, I was overwhelmed with happiness when the San Beda Red Lions won the championship. Can't even remember the date. It's somewhere around here. Wrote everything down on a notebook. Anyway, this is all that I need to say...they're again the champion. JRU is really no match. Everything went fair and that's the end of my month-long Sports series.

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Twas Mom's birthday first day of the month. The president declared it as holiday for the celebration of the end of Ramadan. That same day, twas raining cats and dogs. Dunno how she celebrated it. What I can remember... she prepared some food and that's it.

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Before October, we went out with relatives to celebrate Nanay (lola) and Mamay's (lolo) birthday. If I remember it correctly, twas 27th of September. We went to Dampa (which, I used to think was a very nice place...). Think there was just some 15 of us. 'Food was dismaying' is all I can say. Mom had to spend like PhP8K and only one person was satisfied. We should've just went to Fish & Co. in stead. *sigh* Well, I just have to think that at least we were able to celebrate our grannies' days together for the first time.

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Before end of September, I screwed up. Someone was hurt and I am really sorry that I have to be that stupid. I learned a lot from that situation. Please know how sorry I am. There are reasons ... but no matter how valid, I am sincerely sorry. There is no excuse for this.

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The first weeks of October had been spooky for me. Y'all should wait for my next post (and hope that it won't take another couple'o weeks) as I will talk about my personal ghost stories. *wink*

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A few sad things also happened... like my younger sis was held up. Twas only last month that her phone was snatched in Ortigas by a street child (a boy). Pat had to buy her a new one and twas just a week old when a guy approached her as she waits for transport on her way to her review school around 9 in the morning. Not too early, right? But, the style was... the guy introduced himself as a policeman and flashed an ID. My sis wasn't able to scrutinize it as she was already frightened. The man said, he need to search her stuffs as there was a complaint about a lost stash of cash and a mobile phone. Worse, she was asked to go to a corner where no one can see them. She showed her bag and it's over. What she didn't know, the guy was able to snatch her phone without her being conscious of it. For however it was done! Only after he's gone that she figured everything. *sigh*

Just yesterday, Totsie, Hippo's younger bro experienced the same modus. He just dropped off MRT - Boni Station when a guy came to him. Introduced himself as a cop and told the young Hippo there was a complaint so it's necessary that his stuffs be searched. Totsie was carrying a pretty huge bag with mostly food items inside. The guy asked if he's carrying money and requested Young Hippo to flash it. The latter did (for whatever reason). But, he was able to safely return it inside the bag. After the fake cop was gone, Young Hippo found out the money was also gone. tsk tsk.


Lessons:

1. Always be alert.

Look around for suspicious looking characters. Yes, SLCs are not only seen on widescreens. They are everywhere. So, don't apply the saying...'don't judge a book by its cover' when you're in public places. Hmmm... but, all am trying to say is, be alert and be street smart. I remember my sis described the guy being decent looking.

2. Never trust anyone.

Yes. Even if they tell you they are NBI. Anyone can just conveniently say "I am this and that"... Trust not even authorities.

3. When you didn't do anything wrong, don't be shaken and keep your cool.

Usually, they use intimidation to perform their dirty work. And this is the reason why that guy introduced himself as a policeman. So, before anything else, trust yourself that you're not guilty of anything. Remember that there should always be a search warrant before authorities can search your possessions.

4. Always keep in mind that policemen always speak LOUDLY and they don't do investigation alone & without the complainant.

Yes. They are not going to speak softly when they have to perform investigation on anyone. They won't care if one has to be humiliated in front of a crowd of bystanders. Keep this in mind. So if someone comes to you whispering... do every possible move to stay away.

5. Always stay with the crowd.

You can at least feel safe with them.

6. Have a handy teargas with you all the time.

This way, you can escape from sitches this. Like, you won't be scared to raise your voice should you need to get the public's attention.

7. Keep in mind that a search warrant is always necessary if there's a complaint against anyone.

If a modus like this happens to you, tell them that you will have to call your lawyer first. I wonder what will that &*#%$@ do. Refuse to do anything they ask you to. Even real guilty suspects ask for their lawyers.

8. If you have to carry big sums of money ... maybe for tuition or for whatever ... keep it on a real safe place where it's hard to grab from.

...like in your shoes or undies, maybe. It's already enrolment in most schools plus Christmas season is fast approaching so all us should be alert. So many goons are lurking around waiting for innocent victims.

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18th was Pat's wedding day. Twas a good one. The Church was nice and didn't make me dizzy at all. Reception was ok but I didn't like the food. Maybe am naturally too choosy. Dunno.

Met some relatives I never met before. Only a few from Dad's side and a significant number from Mom's. For the first time, I met Sol. She's Uncle Tito's daughter. Mom said we're like twins as we resemble each other... but, I frankly don't see any resemblance. Mom mentioned we even shared the same allergies haha. It feels good knowing I am not alone. hehe Now, I plan to sit and have a talk with her so I can learn how to survive this miserable life I have (being sickly and having so many allergies to almost everything).

There's this cute lil boy Jason referred to as the person of Chicken Little. fwahaha... but, he's indeed very cute and adorable.

I and Jen screwed up a lil hihi... I can only laugh at myself now. And I am guessing Jen feels the same way. She had to do the reading ... it's for the mass... and as soon as she was in front of the pulpit, she started sniffing like there's no tomorrow. So ridiculous. Imagine someone looking so elegant doing that! "Childish indeed" like what Aunt Rosie said.

How did I screw up? Well, I only stepped on Pat's veil! *blushes* It was all over my way to her. Twas My and Jason's turn to put the cord, but the veil was on my way and there was nowhere I can pass through. In my head, I was to ask Jen to pick the thing up for me (since she's Pat's maid LOL)... but I didn't want to make a scene or something. I still did, anyway! Now, the poor veil has a hole the size of my heel. hihi ... Sorry Pat.

I was also asked to do a speech. Twas supposed to be wishes and stuffs, but ended up a stand-up comedy thingie. Only because I was already teary-eyed and I didn't want to start with a tear-jerker message. The entire time I was holding the mic I was chuckling and kidding around. Oh well... but, looking back, I regret I wasn't able to tell the both of them what I've been meaning to tell.

All the while I thought everything was nothing to me until I saw that look on Pat's face at the Church while walking along the aisle. She was filled with joy and fulfillment. The guy was no one to us. We didn't like him for what we thought he was. Not that we already proved he's not what we judged him to be, but, you know the feeling when you can just be happy for someone only for the simple reason he/she's happy? That's what I felt. Although, Pat and I have so many differences, I love her that much that I can be happy where she's happy without questions. And at that very moment, I started embracing the idea that F is now part of the family. I love what she loves because I love her.


Early that morning just before the ceremony... Orlan went to my place to do my hair and make up. After a long while. In fact, twas a few years ago since we last saw each other in an event. We talked about mundane stuffs. Am glad that so many wonderful things happened that day.

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What's usual about me happened after Pat's big day -- got sick. Was in bed the entire day (since afternoon until next day) except I had to attend fellowship afternoon of Sunday so... I had to be fine. Still so weak til now. Oh well...

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Today's Daddy Hippo's birthday. Happy happy!!!!! There won't be any big celebration since the Twin Hippos are here plus he still feels bad about that modus yesterday. But, Mommy Hippo said they will be visiting here either Thursday or Friday. Hope by then, I can already have that long awaited massage (with them)!


Toodle-oo for now.

First rule of defense: always watch your rear.

The JRU Heavy Bombers pulled if off for a sudden death match after winning game 2 of the 84th NCAA Men's Senior Division finals against the 2-time champ San Beda Red Lions last Friday, 62-60.

Should we call it a fair game? This is not for my being a Red Lions fanatic. I do acknowledge there have been too many mistakes and wrong decisions on their end (a lot would blame it on poor Pong Escobal). Not to mention, the Heavy Bombers gave a really good defense and outstanding offense. But, it's very evident how the referees took charge in the game 2 of NCAA season 84 finals by being inconsistent with their calls (which placed Sam Ekwe and Jay-R Taganas out of the court in the crucial 4th qtr) . The JRU Heavy Bombers tried to give a good defense but it turned out too physical. And this is really what happened. If truth will only be told.

Too physical I said because NJei of JRU was too clingy and so were most of the Bombers but too many instances of fouls were not called in favor of the Lions. While a number of lame fouls were called in favor of JRU since the start of the game. Yeah, it's JRU's strategy and well, it's part of the game. So, I can only ask, should this be considered a clean win for the Bombers? Or rather a win out of frustration to stretch their season?

No doubt, they are good. I am not questioning it. They have exceptional defense and consistent key players like Cagoco, Sena, Nocom (MVP in this game), Bulangis and Wilson. They're truly commendable. Nonetheless, their win was aided by court authorities. Yes, they'd successfully shut down the offense and held down most of the Lions' scorers. They're pesky and aggressive and not to mention, too touchy. They're all over the Red Lions' bodies, for crying out loud! So, although, Escobal made palpable errors, come on! Who can survive a game like this when it appeared more like a boxing bout for him?!

A defense play such as the Heavy Bombers' can really test an opponents' composure and focus NOT because of their knack, but because they are able to get away with their strong nudges. No fouls will be called no matter how battered the opponent already is. In addition, how lucky fouls are called in their favor with just the slightest touch from the Lions. The foul call which put Ekwe on the bench was too lame. His hands were raised and he was still. Can't blame Frankie Lim for that pointless technical, although, he fired it a lil too late. It should've came earlier in the game before the Lions became psychologically affected.

In my opinion, it's not a question of their (the Lions) composure or maturity. That's too much to ask. There's nothing tougher than frustration caused by an outer force. Truth is, it's not the defense of the Bombers that destroyed their focus. It's the thought that winning is not on their hands but on the hands of another who has the power to manipulate who SHOULD win.


Quarterscores: 19-14; 30-28; 45-44; 62-60.

Jose Rizal (62) -- Nocom 16, Wilson 13, Sena 11, Bulangis 7, Cagoco 4, Hayes 4, Njei 4, Pradas 3, Lopez 0, Kabigting 0.

San Beda (60) -- Escobal 16, Ekwe 15, Menor 9, Taganas 5, Hermida 4, Marcelo 4, Tirona 3, Gamalinda 2, Pascual 2.

As we let our own lights shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same.

Today is the 2nd day of the NCAA season 84 championship match between San Beda and JRU and for sure, just like me, everyone is already too excited to know whether the Lions will bag the trophy this same day OR will the Bombers push for another game?

In last Wednesdays' game, the Red Lions escaped with a 4-pt. lead victory over the Heavy Bombers, 72-68. Twas a tight match given by the Bombers that the Red Lions had to struggle to keep the lead. Credit should be given to James Sena (who also contributed to the team's defeat after missing crucial freethrow shots in the last minutes of the 4th qtr), Marvin Hayes, Marc Cagoco and John Wilson.

Am too lazy to state the details... but, last game was a good one. A very good match. JRU truly deserves to fight for the title. But, the Red Lions are too thirsty for another victory. I am keeping my fingers crossed that they win and end the series this day.

You're either in or you're out.

In one of my posts, I shared how eager I was in losing pounds. Even shared a list of what I planned to do. But, yeah, just like most New Year's resolutions, it's nothing but 'plan'. Now, my list rather looks like this:

* NO carbs for 2 weeks.
* NO meals after 4PM.
* NO eat-out for until desired weight is gained.
* START hula hoop(ing) again.
* START skip rope again.
* INCREASE hours working with my new bud, "Orbitrac".
* INCREASE fluid intake.
* INCREASE green tea intake.
* INCLUDE vegetables in my diet.

*BIG SIGH* Oh, how tough it is to stay away from FOOD. Especially, I've been cooking a lot lately. Yeah, I do cook...believe it or not. *wink* Plus, there's a big number of people I know who are celebrating their birthdays this month: Richmond, BubbleBum, Keith & Mommy Ona (5th), Uncle Olan (10th), Zeke (11th), Lolo Richard (12th) [ belated happy BiDy!!! ] Pauline (24th), Nanai (25th), JR (26th), Mamai (27th) & Boogie (29th)... lotsmo but these are the only people I can remember... HAPPY BiDy, all Sep Celebrants!!!

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...now, back to NCAA series...

Guess what? The San Beda Red Lions advances to the finals and will be facing the JRU Heavy Bombers on Wednesday (24th) at the Araneta Coliseum after yesterdays do-or-die game against the Mapua Cardinals. Final score 60-53.

Twas a roller coaster game for the Lions. Leading in the 1st qtr (22-16); then, took a-fall-header-plunge-spill-tumble with only 6pts against the Cardinals' 17 -- combined scores of Kevin dela Pena, Allan Mangahas and Mazo (28-33); picking up again in the 3rd qtr and successfully snatched the lead back with the help of Gamalinda and Menor's behind attacks (44-41) ... maintained the lead the entire 4th qtr leading them back to the finals. Hooray!

Rogemar (Ogie) Menor truly showed his worth in this game and was named MVP. Am so impressed by his confidence, guts and expertise dealing with rattling sitches. How he can create scores for himself! He's the man! Check his stats.

Although, only Borgie Hermida (aka Mighty Kid) was able to manage a 3pt shot and there's very poor outside shooting from the team, the Lions were able to pull it off with significant efforts from Ogie Menor, rookie Jake Pascual (transferee from the PCU Jrs team shared 13 pts, 13 rbds, 3 assists, 3 stls & 2 blks), David Marcelo (3rbds & 1 assist) and Hermida (14 pts, 5 rbds & 3 assists). Hafta also give credit to the rest'o the Lions... Sam Ekwe (9pts, 13 rbds & 2 blks), Pong Escobal (5pts) and Riego Gamalinda (2pts...also helped spark a running game for the team).

Ogie Menor, the game's MVP, made 17pts, 4rbds and 1 ast.

2008 Standings

	Wins	Losses
SBC Red Lions	12	3
SSCR Stags	9	5
JRU Bombers	9	5
LC Knights	9	5
MIT Cardinals	9	6
CSB Blazers	4	10
PCU Dolphins	3	11
UPHR Altas	2	12

Looking forward to Wednesday's Finals game.

Do you ever feel that you're observing the world you live in instead of participating in it?

I was totally devastated after the Mapua Cardinals (4th seed) defeated the San Beda Red Lions (1st seed) yesterday during NCAA's Semis. This is the 2ndth time the Cardinals aced the Red Lions this season being the only team to beat the latter twice. Sad to admit, but the entire game was in favor of the Cardinals.

Was only able to watch the 2nd half (again). That time, Mapua was already leading by 11. Twas another low scoring game ended with only 53-51.

Am still so dismayed that they had to lose this one. Thought twas leading to an extension but they insisted on taking that 3pts shot in an attempt to snatch the victory (in stead of eyeing for an extension) which they failed to do.

At around 12secs in the 4th qtr, the lead was down to 3 (from the combined score of Hermida and Menor). Menor got the chance to add more points by means of freethrow. He got the first one but missed the second hoping to get the rebound, which unfortunately, didn't help as Escobal was too early on the paint. Possession was given to the Cardinals with only 7secs left, but the Lions were able to steal the ball giving them the advantage to either go for 3 or challenge the Cardinals for another 5mins. The latter was executed. Inbound by Menor (which was very questionable..."why him?") and two 3pt attempts by Escobal, which was too strong the first time and too short the 2ndth (in an attempt to get a foul). Ekwe was under the basket but was too late to erase the two points deficit as clock went zero. *sigh*

Like Hermida and the rest of the Lions, I was in shock for a few secs while watching the Cardinals rejoice. Nobody expected this. Even in the last seconds, I was hopeful they (RLs) can still pull it off. Turned out negative for the last season's champ, though.

My personal opinion... (come on! everyone's entitled to this. givvituhme!)

...aside from Ekwe's poor contribution lately, I noticed something wrong with the coaching, as well. Yes, yes, I am not a coach and what do I know?! But, for crying out loud, to put Rogemar Menor out of the court in a crucial game like this?! Tell me, is there nothing wrong?! May I mention that he was vital to their past years' wins; he was NCAA Season 83 Finals MVP; he was twice awarded as outstanding player of the week by the NCAA Press Corps last year; he can remarkably make 35pts in a single game (avg 14 ppg -- obsolete -- no current record available); he was MVP in the Jr Div twice (2003 & 2004) and so on... oh, and I almost forgot he was the highest scorer among the Lions in yesterday's game although he was stuck longer on the bench. May I question, as well, why he had to do the inbound during that crucial 7secs ball possession?

...I sound so like a fan of his, but, I believe in his talent so...

Anyway, I also question why they had to push for 3 pts? Extension could've been more practicable, especially, considering their very bad outside shooting in this game. Inside shooting was even such a struggle, so, WHY???

Sam Ekwe was kept playing in spite of the many errors he's making...he was allowed to make too many attempts and ended up with only 4. Goodness! Like, while watching the disaster, I was asking, "what's happening?!!!" My tummy felt like revolting ...I wanted to throw up. If I wanted them to win badly, how much more the players themselves?! But, Ekwe was just screwing up. He's not even helping with the rebounds.

Dunno what's happening, but I just miss how Ekwe used to contribute a lot to the team. He used to not care whether he made points or not. Just as long as he can do something like snatch the ball, box out or whatever. Lately, he has become lax. To me, it looks like he's too engrossed making jumpshot attempts no matter how many times he misses. Makes me wonder why isn't anything being done about this? Was this even an instruction from the coaching staff? He's supposed to be within the paint (boxing out) but he's been positioning himself outside where he's not really needed. *scratches head*

Their last game (when Ekwe made only 4 points and played his shortest game time) rose suspicions that he might be involved in game-fixing. There have been rumors spreading he was picked up for interrogation after a very bad performance, but this was denied by Frankie Lim (head coach) and the officials of his college (source). They even expressed their full trust in the Nigerian National (read more...). Can't remember who said this (could be the commentators as just like myself, they're also wondering why won't they [coaching staff] make him rest since he's not anymore effective...) , "they're trying to make Ekwe satisfied or happy" (not the exact wording), so he was let to play longer although he's erratic. Is this in relation to the controversy? Read more here...

*deep sigh* Well, it's really a combination of errors and unlucky day, in fact, that might have dictated the Red Lions fate yesterday. Almost half of their free throws were missed (10/18). Too many missed shots could've also saved them.

oh, well...No matter how I rant here, the result is all over the news and I should better just wait for the next game (September 22, Mon 2:30PM at the Astrodome).

Trust me folks, this is gonna be a day you'll never forget.

Yey! After another exhilarating game yesterday, the San Beda Red Lions once again copped the victory this time against the Colegio de San Juan de Letran Knights. Twas a low-scoring game ended with 65-63 (OT). *whew*

At the last few seconds of the fourth quarter, the Knights were in the lead by two when Jazul fouled Menor and the latter swept the deficit, which led them to an extension. (Am not really certain if this was what really caused the OT and if these were really the men involved. Boy, everything happened too swiftly! But the intensity of the game is still felt up to this moment. Just correct me if there's any mistake in my story. OR better yet, add to it.)

Have no idea how things went during the first half. I was actually busy working on something so I was trying to dismiss the idea of postponing what I was doing ONLY to watch this game. I did leave my work and sat comfortably in front of Changhong ...and well, it's all worth it.

Around less than 7 minutes during the 3rd quarter, Letran was ahead by 13(?). Who would think the Lions could still win?! Menor and Escobal were NOT performing as expected and so is almost everybody. Too many free throws were given away, which could've aided them in this close fight game. Ekwe's game was just as bad. In fact, his most unfavorable for this season with only 4 pts and 3 rbds in 19 mins (his lowest game time).

SBC RL bench Tirona, Marcelo, Pascual (who was fouled out in the 4th qtr) and Gamalinda responded to the need and how this helped their struggle to advance. Later in the game, Menor and Hermida came back adding more thrill to the already exciting match.

Am sure everyone watching the game yesterday (both live and TV audience) was already anticipating a 2nd extension but NO... nah-uh! That's already enough. Everybody's tired. It's been a really tiring game for both teams so, Hermida had to make that last (chance) shot to cancel another OT. His last second shot, which ended the game and brought defeat to the Knights. awwww... (frown for The Ks but big happy smile for the RLs)

There's a weightier reason for the Knights to grieve. It is the possibility to get eliminated should they lose the next two knock-out games. The RLs gave them and 3 other teams (San Sebastian, Mapua and JRU) tougher work vying for the 3 remaining slots to complete the Final Four. While SBC RLs hold a twice to beat advantage. *big smile*

Have a sporty day!

With some intensive work, she'll be ready for the world's finest trailer park.

Started the day playing baskets. Just maybe some 30 minutes for a start. Am a bit disappointed that I lost my shooting skills a bit. Promised myself to gain it back. Dunno if it's just the height of the ring or the rotting board. Was I just distracted? Surely, I will gain the arm strength back in no time. That is, if I regularly play.

I better continue this routine. Also planning to swim some lapse everyday. Or at least thrice a week. These are just plans but I hope to do them. Am telling you how serious I am with my weight loss plan. Didn't eat large volume for breakfast. And I didn't eat rice as well. Will deprive myself of carbs esp rice. Think it's the culprit. Goodness...I really hope to keep up with this diet plan. *whew*

...next move...I will dispatch all finger snacks and won't buy anymore. *crossed fingers*
*sigh* This is seriously such a sacrifice. You can all call me a hero if I can carry on.

Later, will buy a new hula. The one I currently have is already oblong. haha

Tomorrow, will work on my IDs. Dunno but I am guessing many of you have an idea how hard it is to get government IDs these days. Or has it been the case ever since?

...like, to get an SSS ID, you have to stand in long line of people...when some satellites don't have aircondition system. Then, you'd have to wait like 3 months to 6 months to receive it! Wake up call for those who should be concerned. People are getting IDs because they need it. If they don't why do you think they will rush to your branches and experience all the hassles? Then, you're gonna have them wait like MONTHS to receive the ID!!! Hello!?

We went to Megamall last Thursday to get an NBI clearance (for identification...the fastest I thought I can get).. Whoa. We reached the mall around 10AM and goodness!!! The end of the line was on the 4th floor. In fairness, it didn't take very long as expected. Maybe, some 25-45 minutes. Good job, NBIc Team.

Irritating how I looked like in the photo, though. Too close! Imagine how you'd look like in a too close up shot. Yes, that's the same way I looked. Grrr. Well, at least I got the clearance (consolation). I got my new Eon, as well. Danke.

I already blabbed a lot. Need to finish what needs to and prepare for fellowship. Happy Sunday, everyone!

Ham sandwich on stale rye bread. Lots of mayo, easy on the ham.

Today, I had a shocking revelation about my current vital measurement. And this is a serious concern (for me). It's not anymore just my imagination like what my friends would say. My size is not anymore desirable and it needs immediate action. How, I am sooo disgusted with myself! *sobs*

I rather not share figures now. It's totally embarrassing. Believe me. But, from this day forward, I will do all possible things to gain back the weight that's just right for me.

Am wondering, though, why I still gained weight. Have started increasing my activities and I eat only small portions each meal. Just imagine how much more I should decrease from my intake if this is the case! Goodness! *glaring eyes*

Here's my plan:

- NO carbs for 2 weeks.
- NO meals after 4PM.
- NO eat-out for until desired weight is gained.
- START hula hoop(ing) again.
- START skip rope again.
- INCREASE hours working with my new bud, "Orbitrac".
- INCREASE fluid intake.
- INCREASE green tea intake.
- INCLUDE vegetables in my diet.

*sigh* No eat-out for a while is such a tough thing to do. It's like everyone's happy and enjoying gorging some delectable food... while, I... just in one corner staring at them! But, I have to do this OR else.

Yeah, I am NOT fat. But, I hafta look after my weight this early or I will regret my negligence later. This needs lotsa discipline. Good luck to me.

...no more of these...*frowns*

Yes. You all hafta see why I feel so devastated right now. See what I will have to miss? What sacrifice I have to take?!! This is just so unfair. *sobs* ... *wipes tears* but lil sacrifices will help me feel good about myself again. Attitude is the word.

On a different note... X has been sending me mobile messages and one time asked if I can receive his call but I refused. Made me wonder why all of a sudden he's coming back. Hippo saw him just yesterday with fMV and they looked like there's nothing wrong anyway. hmmm Nothing like this is a big issue. Just as far as am concerned, fMV doesn't like X having anything to do with me for whatever reason. Hello?! Doesn't she know that I, in fact, has the sole right to be angry at her?! Whatever.

It all came back to me how I was eaten completely by insecurity after HE told me she is a Kristine Hermosa look-a-like! Then, after a couple'a years, I found her photos in his FS and what d'ya know?! She is really a celebrity-look-a-like. ONLY she doesn't look like KH, but a female Michael V.! Boo!

To end this post... The Red Lions retained their team standing after last Wednesday's breath taking game with San Sebastian College Recoletos (62-58). They will face Letran College this coming Wednesday to complete the elimination rounds at the Araneta Stadium.

G'night y'all.

Now thats my whole plot in a nutshell.

Once, I mentioned that I have finally moved to a new place. Today, I thought to tour you into the world that is my very own.

So, there's the bed ... and then the closets and dresser ... then my small office space in one corner by the window ... then you will see evidences of my being 'neat freak' ... collections of pens and markers ... you will also see the orbitrac which moves from one place to another from time to time and beside it are the stackables (some clothes that the closets can't accommodate and finger snacks) ... there are the cute baskets purchased a couple o'years back (which hold some more clothes) ... there's also the television ... on top of the tv rack are easy to grab goodies for my hungry tummy. hehe

Didn't show the bathroom behind the tv rack anymore. Maybe next time. And maybe I can show you around the entire house, as well, by then. *wink* My midsec is already growling and hafta answer NOW.

See yah.

....................................

Back @ 1415 to include my home slippers. Almost forgot. grrr

Love'em so much.

Gotta go. This time...for until tomorrow OR the next day after tomorrow ...OR... just wait for my next post.

I have a highly developed sense of taste and smell.

The faces at Fridays...





Yummies...







After 30 minutes...





On a different note....Y'all bettah hafta watch my latest flick. Twas tough work but fun.




Don't really know what my role was but, maybe you want to discover it yourself. Lemme know when you've finally figured what. This is nothing but a small favor. Sure you'll enjoy watching anyway. *wink*

Toodle-oo for now!

"After dis moment, I'll not think o'you evah again. But you, I'm certain, will think bawt mei everyday fow the res-a-yah life."

When a love relationship has to end after girl learned that guy cheated on her, girl would almost endlessly upbraid the guy. Would ask the guy to give back all that she had given him and would iterate every single good thing she'd done for him until he's gone. Some girls are like this and can even be vengeful. But, girls, have we even gave a thought at "what if it was the guy who was cheated on?" Check this out...

So, girls, know that if we can do it, they can do it, too. fwahaha

There are very few moments in life as good as this.

Thought about Dada Stoik, Bubblebum, Henio Sorao, Calbo and Archi PJ recently. How I missed them so much. It's been yearsss. Hope they're doing just fine and happy.

Twas Dada Stoik's B-Day last 14th. Wasn't able to greet him. Have not been in touch with him since the last time he called me back at my old place in Manila. Btw, he's my best friend for more than TEN years. Our friendship was something unbreakable. We were led to different directions when he started having relationships. Imagine?! Each girl he hooked up with wanted me out of his life! Just like that. But, maybe it's better this way than him having a hard time weighing who to side with when squabbles arise.

(I mentioned, "back at my old place..." yeah, I have finally moved to a new place after years of planning. TG. Hurray to me!)

Bubblebum, I heard from a reliable source, he already have two baby boys. I wonder why he never asked me to be a godmom to any of his sweet angels. BB ...we had been through a lot as well, just like my friendship with DS. I can remember we had been housemates for a few times for different reasons and situations. hehe Now, we don't even get to be in touch. Sad. *frowns*

Henio Sorao... It's like centuries since we last spoken to each other. Last time I saw him was at MRT station in Boni. That's way way back 2002(?). What I heard was he's 5100 ft away (in the Summer Capital of the Phils). He's a computer genius and coached me to play guitar.

Here's a lil twist ... good thing ... Calbo found a way to stay in touch. Thanks to the mobile phone technology. He's just somewhere north of Manila... in the city called the Cradle of the Katipunan working as SG. Said his job's demanding of time. Am guessing it'll take us very long to set a reunion. My fondest mem'ry of him was when he became my closest friend in college, though we were from different course and year level. It's dandy how he became coach for the college's Women's Basketball Team which I was part of. This helped jumpstart the foundation of our friendship. More trying situations tested our bond after college and am pretty sure he, just like me, will always remember all that we had to go through.

...and Archi PJ. He's now working in UAE. He's such a go-getter. I am most proud of him for being independent. He was a university scholar and at the same time was already earning and saving for himself. Practically sent himself to school, which was very impressive. We were somewhat close friends especially that he gave his best to be there for me whenever I was low. Thanks APJ.

As an INFJ, I stick with very few friends. So, somehow, it's a loss for me that we all have to go our own separate ways. Well, in life, we are given people to share our lives with. Then, one day, their roles in our life just have to end. Fact that we all should accept. *sigh*

NOTE: The persons I mentioned are real people. They're not just made up characters in cartoons just like how the monikers I gave them sound like. Nor they are maginary friends in my disoriented mind.

You know, I think I had a nightmare about this once...

Will there ever be a chance that scars will completely be gone? I don't really need any remembrance. Seriously.

06/10/08
“There is something beautiful about all scars of whatever nature. A scar means the hurt is over, the wound is closed and healed, done with.”

"Hey, nobody gets to mistreat my dog like that except me!"

It's Odie's 30th birthday! Happy happy!!! (Although, I am terribly sick, I needed to take a moment to post this.)

Very short info: "Odie's first appearance in the comic strips was on August 8, 1978, which is considered his birthday. He celebrated his birthday only once in 1995."

My old sketch of Odie
Garfield describes Odie's species as "purebred clown"

I think my brother is Garfield in real life and Sissy or Rez would be Odie. Can't be certain, though, if he'd say the same line used for this post to defend any of the 2 dogs mentioned.

If I could have any job in the world I'd be a professional Cinderella.

While watching a flick just two nights ago, I recalled one (dunno if I should call it funny or weird or what) instance... I rather (better) not describe but, yeah... a guy approached me and asked, "what's your name? Mine is Paul." It's really nothing new. Am used to it... just, this guy showed no hesitation at all even I was with a male friend. His self-confidence was really something. Like 150%. Or even more.

...started casual talks and here's the kooky part. He started telling me how beautiful I am. That I look like a doll and all other nice adjectives he could think of. Then, out of nowhere said, "can I own you?" WHAAAATTTTTT?!!!!

You're like some kind of antidote - mixes with the liquor and keeps me in balance.

I don't mind walking long miles for as long as I'm walking with you. I may be scared but my fears are flushed away by this faith I have in you. You are the courage that gets me to the end of an ancient old foot bridge. It's frightening to get to the other end, but with you it's nothing but an easy feat.

.................................................

Crushie was at the fellowship last Sunday. How wonderful I saw his back. ONLY his back. *sticks out tongue*