Diagnose a Problem then Fix it

I stumbled upon this article while I scanned my news feed a few minutes ago. Was supposed to share only with those I care most as a private message, but as my writing got longer, I decided to just put it here. 

What that person has is one idea (you need to click the link and read to know what it is) never to be embraced, at all. Illogical and selfish.  I know I've had this question in my head way back why God allowed my parents to have me and my siblings when "I think" they're not equipped enough to do the "proper" parenting. What I meant by not equipped enough is that they weren't following an absolute and efficient standard from which they based their choices. And so affecting us in various ways. (And, by the way, I never blurted that out to anyone except in prayer before God. I've long ago left that silly thought. Opened it up just for the sake of the topic.)

But, who does..... really?!

The fault is not that no one knows parenting, but that even having been given the faculty to learn, people rather chase after non-essentials that have nothing to do with raising a family. Almost everyone is so about wanting to have a family of their own but won't focus on the things that could prepare them enough to build a good one. Everybody goes the direction where it's about self-growth with some supplemental ideas from the society that it's for the future of their future. When truth is, deep within, it's all about self ― What I want for myself that I enjoy and that gives me fulfillment according to how I will be viewed by others. Self-image. It's nothing really about or for another being they are to raise.

Then I thought, “Why do people work so hard?” 
I saw people try to succeed and be better than other people. 
They do this because they are jealous. 
They don’t want other people to have more than they have. 
This is senseless. It is like trying to catch the wind.

Ecclesiastes 4:4 

Why are most females these days repelled by being efficient in the home? Because being good stewards of the household gives them no applause than when they excel in the corporate world where they receive certificates and rewards in monetary or material form. And which is made known to many people so it feeds their ego. As opposed to just staying home and silently serve, nurturing only a number of individuals and get no compliment. Nobody else knows except the ones who receive their service. Or, could be that they listened and believed so much what the society dictates which points to social class. In order to maintain a certain lifestyle, there is a need to help their partners earn higher. And the last OR would be that, they could probably be functioning from a state of discontent. All needs are being met, but not all wants. Even if they may say, "for the good of my children..." nothing will ever be better than them serving the home as nurturers. Maybe I should also add EQUALITY as another reason?

Most men, on the other hand, work hard to be thought of as a good provider in the definition of the world what a good provider looks like namely, huge house, awesome wheels, fancy stuff, reputable school, etc. Gives them high sense of self being applauded this way. Yet, it's got nothing to do with what's essential for the future except for oneself. When truth is, if they're able to provide the basic needs to live decently, that should be enough. Yes, their way may sustain both needs and wants, but leaving out filling the deepest need ― parent-child relationship, which is what defines the growth of every individual's character and personality.

“How infinite are the forms in which self appears. Some are occupied with good self. They pride themselves on their excellencies. Others are just as much occupied with bad self. They are forever groaning over their imperfections, and struggling with the flesh as if they hoped in time to improve it. When shall we be convinced it is so utterly bad that it is beyond all recovery? Our experience, upward, in the power of God, is just in proportion to our experience, downward, in ceasing from self.”

~ Evan Hopkins ~

The root of all problems is the self that neglects their connection to everything else. And if I am to blame the root problem to who birthed me out into this world and why did God even allow it to be, I remove myself as being a contributor to the existing problem. 

Thing is, we're all given this life not to be pampered and comforted as how we wish to be treated. All are put on earth to be nurturers. To cultivate it. We are not owed by this world anything. We are to contribute to it. If we all just get out of ourselves every so often, we might can come to a realization that life is only a privilege given to us not to be abused but to use wisely and humbly as everyone else around has been given the same privilege only with varying portions according to God's grace. And with what portion one is given, he has to make use of in the cultivation of this world we all share; as against, this is my portion and I want more. 

Remember this: 

There are some terrible times coming in the last days.
People will love only themselves and money. 
They will be proud and boast about themselves. 
They will abuse others with insults. 
They will not obey their parents. 
They will be ungrateful and against all that is pleasing to God.

2 Timothy 3:1-2

Society has become a marketplace which turns everyone into consumers that demand for what could make their existence more fun and enjoyable. It has come up with ways to make use of people's focus on self to keep business running. Setting a bar which people started reaching and maintaining to the point of neglecting what truly matters most. Such a danger if everyone simply act on their urges. Seeing this, I understand in a deeper sense the beauty and wisdom in obeying the instruction of Jesus, "deny yourself and follow Me." Without the denying of self, people will keep answering to the call of the flesh and following where the society leads them to satisfy their whims and desires. Which causes people to neglect the second greatest commandment, “you shall love your neighbor as yourself.”

We are all to remind ourselves that we are here not to lord over what, but to look after God's creations. The more that we live to gain, the more that we cough up harm into this world. That harm only goes back to us. We all suffer together. There is no better way to live but to consider the highest good that involves all creations in contrast with one's own.


#JustSaying

    In whatever you do, don’t let selfishness or pride be your guide.
    Be humble, and honor others more than yourselves. 
    Don’t be interested only in your own life, but care about the lives of others too.   

Philippians 2:3-4

Further readings visit:


C. S. Lewis on Selfishness vs. Self-Interest
What does the Bible say about being self-centered?
Why You Don't Need More Self-Esteem?




 

Struggle shapes our character. And character dictates what we will become.

I can't believe I'd not dropped even a single line here for a really long while (until two days earlier). It's been more than a year since I published a post. And, boy, how time seriously flies so swiftly. A year just went past me. Now 2018 is about to bid farewell soon. Very soon. Like in a couple of days!

For quite a while, I've been struggling with this thing they call 'adult-ing', which apparently happens naturally to all of us at one point in this life. I don't want to say I've been a victim so I rather say, "struggling". Because considering myself a 'victim' takes the responsibility off of me.

So, as I was saying, adult-ing's been going on for quite some time now to me, sneakily. Adult-ing can actually mean a lot of things for different people. Not necessarily all bad, just tough. Like for me, it doesn't mean I changed into someone completely new, leaving behind the bizarre person that I really am. I still love and do the things I used to love and do but just with more passion and expression now with some moments when there's less or totally none. (Still a walking contradiction, what's new?)

What happens is, I'm just adding more awesome and beneficial things to my list while simultaneously removing less significant pursuits. Like I still love writing in my journal, though I can't do it on a daily basis like before. I still maintain my blog pages, though they face oblivion time and time again. I'm still into wearing dresses most of the time, yet not to look cute or to be in, but for practical reasons. Well, mainly because one piece saves me from the hassle of mixing and matching and trying different ones on. Saves time. I can say I've become wiser. Not street smart, but hoping to get there. Adult-ing is tough in that it requires one to carefully consider their course of action. It requires one to keep letting go and moving on readily.

One thing that makes me struggle most with adult-ing is management of my life. What to keep and what to dispose. And I am not talking about physical clutters alone, but everything that influences my peace. Which means even the filtering of thoughts and feelings, and people and situation ― whoever and whatever brings positivity and negativity. Strict discipline is another. I've been training myself to live in such a way that there must not be anymore grumbling and blaming... No more excusing, just taking action. Anyway, I am completely left alone to deal with what decisions I make. So might as well really think things through and act accordingly.

I love the freedom of living alone, independently. Without being always conscious of anyone. All my life, I'd depended on others that I always fear coming up to a decision. At least, now it's only God's opinion that matter most to me. There will be less mistakes. Mistakes and stumbling were all because of my doing. And I acknowledge this fact without any excuse. I take responsibility.

Because of the struggle with adult-ing I get to love more the things that make me feel like a child again. Like simply trusting and not over thinking things. Because back then naivety was the norm and skepticism was nothing but a foreign language. It is a much better place to have nothing negative ― nothing to fear, not holding much opinion to be defensive about. At times, I wish I'd protected myself firmly from being corrupted by the world. In my contemplating, I often get to miss the childlike me and question whether I lost her or she's just hiding inside and waiting for me to show her off.

Being childlike gave me much freedom to do what I want to like writing whatever topic. Now, there is a pull from another direction that I need to add some content that will draw readers' interests. While another pull reminds me I am not writing for anyone, but that I just want to. It's always been my avenue for self-expression. Yeah, it doesn't have to be published for everyone to see. I can do the traditional paper and ink. True. And I do that. Perhaps, posting stuff in my online journal is my way to share me to whoever might find my thoughts interesting.

This is not me saying that adult-ing is bad. Or a curse. A person can be every person that they can be. They can be a mature person without losing their inner child. In the same way I appear to be a living contradiction, and it's all because I am not defined by just one side of who I truly am. And I live who I am. Every layers. I have always been true to my own person. Sadly, I learned it's not very acceptable. Too many people box things to their level of understanding and liking. Anything odd is to them not to waste time on. Weird how they say, "be yourself" yet they make someone feel the worst by being themselves ...for showing their true colors. Which makes it ever more clear to me why there is but one standard for morals ― the Word. Otherwise, whose judgment is really valid?

Whenever I find things a little more difficult to handle, I still get to this point of leaning to my tendency to dig and look for reasons why things have to be that hard. When things should've been simple. I tend to blame the irresponsibility of others. Wishing they had done better. Just wisdom always whisper, reminding me that I am only adding to the problem throwing blame and by sulking. Nothing gets solved. And it's not always that I am receptive to wisdom, if I am to be honest now. I somehow resist the sense and benefit of what it says and end up wasting precious times. Squandering minutes and hours. These are times I can clearly see how needy I am. That if God would let me be, then I'd only continue harming myself, and others in the long run.  

Truth is, I don't bite at terms being introduced here and there. Adult-ing is one of the terms I prefer not to give much fuzz about, actually. Except that, right now, I have this need to let out all that occupy my mind. I shall surely write about this "millennial" term and share what I really hold as truth about it that's based from the Word. For now, I just want to allow myself to dump whatever here and maybe in a few months, I'd go back and laugh at all the silliness I published. *sticks out tongue*