"Rules from the Cradle"

I wish it rained, rather, in the afternoon and not in the evening. But, am still thankful it did rain. So, I went to the mall and spent the entire evening at a bookstore. Photographed a few books I wanna read and wanna finish reading soon.And I so love this one...

I found the guy's online scribblings and it's as enjoyable to read. Just sharing. 

Am not really in a good mood to touch-type my thoughts tonight, so I'll just share the rest of the readings I've had. I was given this "prophecy" that I should be going back to my first love ― writing ― so, am trying my best to add numbers to my monthly posts. My first for this month. Hurray! 

Here goes my "plagiarism"...

“Nobody can say anything about you. Whatsoever people say is about themselves. But you become very shaky, because you are still clinging to a false center. That false center depends on others, so you are always looking to what people are saying about you. And you are always following other people, you are always trying to satisfy them. You are always trying to be respectable, you are always trying to decorate your ego. This is suicidal. Rather than being disturbed by what others say, you should start looking inside yourself…

Whenever you are self-conscious you are simply showing that you are not conscious of the self at all. You don’t know who you are. If you had known, then there would have been no problem— then you are not seeking opinions. Then you are not worried what others say about you— it is irrelevant!

When you are self-conscious you are in trouble. When you are self-conscious you are really showing symptoms that you don’t know who you are. Your very self-consciousness indicates that you have not come home yet.”

 ―From someone called Osho

 .......................................................

The Rules

One, if you’re afraid to fight, then you’ll never win. 

Two, in times of tragedy and turmoil, you’ll learn who your true friends are. Treasure them because they are few and far between. 

Three, know your enemies, and never become your own worst one. 

Four, be grateful for those enemies. They will keep you honest and ever striving to better yourself. 

Five, listen to all good advice, but never substitute someone else’s judgment for your own. 

Six, all men and women lie. But never lie to yourself. 

Seven, many will flatter you. Befriend the ones who don’t, for they will remind you that you’re human and not infallible. 

Eight, never fear the truth. It’s the lies that will destroy you. 

Nine, your worst decisions will always be those that are made out of fear. Think all matters through with a clear head. 

Ten, your mistakes won’t define you, but your memories, good and bad, will. 

Eleven, be grateful for your mistakes as they will tell you who and what you’re not. 

Twelve, don’t be afraid to examine the past, it’s how you learn what you don’t want to do again. 

Thirteen, there’s a lot to be said for not knowing better. 

Fourteen, all men die. Not everyone lives. 

Fifteen, on your deathbed, your greatest regrets will be what you didn’t do. 

Sixteen, don’t be afraid to love. Yes, it’s a weakness that can be used against you. But it’s also a source of the greatest strength you will ever know. 

Seventeen, the past is history written in stone that can’t be altered. The future is transitory and never guaranteed. Today is the only thing you can change for certain. Have the courage to do so and make the most of it because it could be all you’ll ever have. 

Eighteen, you can be in a crowd, surrounded by people, and still be lonely. 

Nineteen, love all, regardless of what they do. Trust only those you have to. Harm none until they harm you.

And twenty… Never be afraid to kill or destroy your enemies. They won’t hesitate to kill or destroy you.

―  Darling Cruel, Sherilyn Kenyon

Bear with me til next time.


Toodle-oo!


 

Everything you do touches someone in some way, even though you might not understand that.

God is truly everywhere. Not necessarily inside each person, though, as how I thought. This is too much to expect, I learned. And, truly, when I allow myself get blinded by my own expectations, I'll surely face pain. I learned that I have to open my eyes to the truth of each individual, believer or non-believer. They have truths that I should be aware of and accept. This way, I can make necessary precautions and adjustments.

Human nature. Every individual has complexities, own nature, personality, attitudes, character, and so many other things that comprise them as persons. These are what make them who they uniquely are. If I try to re-create them the way I deem they should be, I only hurt myself and I hurt God who created them and me. I believe that God did not make a mistake in creating anyone. Even those everyone sees as ugly, bad, evil. God designed each one with wisdom and in His likeness. Who am I to complain? Who am I to say, "you gotta change, my friend..."? If I do, it's saying, I am better than God for I know how should people and things be. I resolved that I am not here on Earth to criticize anything, especially, people. Each one has their own purpose for walking here on Earth just like God has a very special purpose for putting me in this world. Each person is carefully designed for God's very own purpose not for my pleasure nor for my own personal satisfaction. 

I don't have to understand people. I don't have to know why criminals do what they do. It is not for me to give reasons to things. I was not put here on Earth to understand mysteries. What I know is I am placed in this world because God wants to use me as an example of love and compassion. I don't have to look at other people whether they're doing their job or not. I can only do my part in warning them, but never to dictate to them what they should do. As I do the tasks God assigned me to do, I shouldn't be critical of other people whether or not they're doing their parts. I am only responsible for myself. I should always guard myself from comparing myself to others. I always have to give my best and my excellent but without taking pride that I am better than others. I am aware that each one is doing their best. Just like me, everyone is struggling to be better everyday.  God has been patient with me as HE guides me to become the person HE wants me to be. In return, I should also be patient with people as God guides them through change.

Every now and then, the nature of people will prick me. One, two or more people will hurt me with their behavior. That will surely cause me pain. But, how I respond is a reflection of who I am inside. Certain people are simply being used by God to expose what I truly am, which I am trying to hide or keep within myself. I can't say, "I only reacted this way because of this or that person." ..."had he not done that, I wouldn't have reacted the way I did." It's so wrong to think that it's because of other people or it's because of situations that we show a certain attitude or behavior. The good or evil we do comes from the good or evil things stored up in our hearts. Most of the time, God places us in situations so these things will be exposed. And it's not because HE wants to over-expose the evil in us; but it is in order that we can be aware of it and repent; then, HE can help change us inwardly.

It's a tough job to love. But, I believe the very reason why Jesus had to walk on Earth is to show us how. He loved the people even He saw their hearts. He had compassion for them. He did not judge them; in stead, He looked at them with mercy. How wonderful will the world be if people start looking at each other not with critical mind nor with judgment but with mercy, love and compassion.

Jesus said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." 

"God's work done in God's way will never lack God's supply."

"...I decided to open my newspaper and read about what was happening in the world. As I continued to read, it seemed that everywhere I looked there were stories of injustice, pain, suffering, and people losing hope. Finally, fueled by my tired, irritable state, I became overcome with compassion and frustration for the way things were. I got up and went to the bathroom and broke down.

With tears streaming down my face, I helplessly looked to the sky and yelled to God. “God, look at this mess. Look at all this pain and suffering. Look at all this killing and hate. God, how could you let this happen? Why don’t you do something?”

Just then, a quiet stillness pacified my heart. A feeling of peace I won’t ever forget engulfed my body. And, as I looked into my own eyes in the mirror, the answer to my own question came back to me… “...stop asking God to do something. God already did something, he gave you life. Now YOU do something!”" 

Life, the Truth, and Being Free

On LOVE

iBelieve.... My heart believes that love is a choice. Love is an act of selfless giving without expectations. Love is sacrifice. Love is seeing the best interest of another. It is not a feeling. Not a reaction to wonderful gestures of love from another. It is just a natural thing that drives one to do things willingly for another person out of a strong desire. An inexplicable desire to do something for someone for no reason at all but itself. It doesn't wait for anything to prompt it to function. It just does without needing an outside force to switch it on.

iPonder... What do you call a love that's looking for a reason? One that waits til a person does something to deserve the privilege of receiving love from the loved object? ...if it demands reason before it can give? Is it love?

iExpress... At this point, I feel like I need to be loved more. I feel like I've been drained from giving too much and receiving little. Yet, I am too cautious that I might just keep sucking affection from anyone available only because I am thirsty for it. Guess my love experiences in the past have caused so much trauma in me that every single decision involving love frightens me. I can't see myself standing anywhere between love and not loving. Am scared to love again and I am scared of not loving. This makes me so frustrated.

iProbe... But, as I remind myself that love is a verb...confusion kicks in. Must I decide to do it because it's an action word or must I wait to receive it because it's a noun...a thing? Or, the question really isn't about choosing what to do? ... but rather who to give it to?

Don't fondle my trigger then blame my gun.

“You're going to meet many people with domineering personalities: the loud, the obnoxious, those that noisily stake their claims in your territory and everywhere else they set foot on. This is the blueprint of a predator. Predators prey on gentleness, peace, calmness, sweetness and any positivity that they sniff out as weakness. Anything that is happy and at peace they mistake for weakness. It's not your job to change these people, but it's your job to show them that your peace and gentleness do not equate to weakness. I have always appeared to be fragile and delicate but the thing is, I am not fragile and I am not delicate. I am very gentle but I can show you that the gentle also possess a poison. I compare myself to silk. People mistake silk to be weak but a silk handkerchief can protect the wearer from a gunshot. There are many people who will want to befriend you if you fit the description of what they think is weak; predators want to have friends that they can dominate over because that makes them feel strong and important. The truth is that predators have no strength and no courage. It is you who are strong, and it is you who has courage. I have lost many a friend over the fact that when they attempt to rip me, they can't. They accuse me of being deceiving; I am not deceiving, I am just made of silk. It is they who are stupid and wrongly take gentleness and fairness for weakness. There are many more predators in this world, so I want you to be made of silk. You are silks.” ― C. JoyBell C.

It is possible to live 24hrs a day in a state of love.

“My aim is so true...
I wanna show you...
I'll try forever...
I'm never gonna say "surrender".”

"...suddenly, I realize that this is what I've been waiting for - a man who depends entirely on me. I dreamed for years of a man who couldn't live without me... a man who pictured my face when he closed his eyes... who loved me when I was a mess in the morning and when dinner was late and even when I overloaded the washing machine and burned out the motor ...stares up at me as if I can do no wrong."

What's wrong if there happens to be one person in the world who enjoys trying to understand you?

"No mistake about it. Ice is cold; roses are red; I'm in love. And this love is about to carry me off somewhere. The current's too overpowering; I don't have any choice. It may very well be a special place, some place I've never seen before. Danger may be lurking there, something that may end up wounding me deeply, fatally. I might end up losing everything. But there's no turning back. I can only go with the flow. Even if it means I'll be burned up, gone forever." — Haruki Murakami

She can't actually decide which of the lines caught her heart. All she knows is that each time they talk, he breaks down one brick from the walls she built up around her. Just one brick at a time. Slowly but surely. That's how strong his words are.

And she wonders where does his confidence come from. There is no trace of fear. He was boldly uttering his deepest feelings. Could it be that love truly conquers all?

...until finally, at last... it was verbalized. [8.30.11-01.45]

...Bleeding hearts will only cry out for more...

“A red rose is not selfish because it wants to be a red rose. It would be horribly selfish if it wanted all the other flowers in the garden to be both red and roses.”

"Why kid ourselves, people have nothing to say to one another... they all talk about their own troubles and nothing else. Each man for himself, the earth for us all. They try to unload their unhappiness on someone else...

...and in between they boast that they've succeeded in getting rid of their unhappiness, but everyone knows it's not true and they've simply kept it all to themselves. Since at the little game you get uglier and more repulsive as you grow older, you can't hope to hide your unhappiness, your bankruptcy, any longer. In the end your features are marked with that hideous grimace that takes twenty, thirty years or more to climb frm your belly to your face. That's all a man is good for, that and no more, a grimace that he takes a whole lifetime to compose. The grimace a man would need to express his true soul without losing any of it is so heavy and complicated that he doesn't always succeed in completing it."

People tend to make rules for others and exceptions for themselves.

The best way to sell yourself to others is first to sell the others to yourself. Check yourself against this list of obstacles to a pleasing personality:

• interrupting others
• sarcasm
• vanity
• being a poor listener
• insincere flattery
• finding fault
• challenging others without good cause
• giving unsolicited advice
• complaining
• attitude of superiority
• envy of others’ success
• poor posture and dress…

What is unacceptable is the fact that many people do not want to see their part in the mess. They refuse to see their own fault by pointing fingers at and highlighting the mistake of others. How many are sincerely willing to admit they provoked someone into acting like a monster? They don't want to acknowledge that there must be something about them that cause another to act a certain way.

Fault-finding is a dangerous game. While one is occupied scrutinizing the being of another person, (s)he fails to see what (s)he badly needs to see and change in him/herself. The more that (s)he passes the blame on others, the more that (s)he fails to improve his/her character. Hardly do people willingly forgive the mistakes of others the same way as they easily and willingly forgive their own. Nit-picking is probably the easiest way to divert people from seeing their flaws. But the damage is menacing.

Strangely enough, Christians do a lot of this. It is this holier-than-thou attitude that repels many unbelievers from receiving Christ's invitation for salvation. Many Christians abuse Biblical scriptures by pronouncing them aloud only to make the other follow what they feel this poor person needs to change in him/herself. In stead of letting GOD grow the seed, they force the seed open.

These are are just some of the lines you will hear from those who are supposed to show themselves "the light of the world": "do this" ..."do that" ..."I am right"... "you are wrong". "I know"... "you do not see the bigger picture, I do"... "You should've"... just to name a few.

They do not understand that their lives alone can move people, not their empty words. That their examples should've been enough. They do not realize that people observe what they say against what they do. They are not ashamed to point out the wrongs of others while they do the same wrongs. They claim to read the Bible, but just like what the apostle Paul said, "always learning and never able to arrive at a knowledge of the truth." They misunderstand the Word. They even misuse it for their own purpose -- to prove they are right and far superior than others.

Jesus Christ, HIMSELF, warned us,

"Do not judge so that you will not be judged. "For in the way you judge, you will be judged; and by your standard of measure, it will be measured to you. "Why do you look at the speck that is in your brother's eye, but do not notice the log that is in your own eye? "Or how can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' and behold, the log is in your own eye? "You hypocrite, first take the log out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to take the speck out of your brother's eye."

Jesus didn't even say that we must not judge, at all. If we are to read carefully, HE emphasized that we are not to "hypocritically" judge our neighbors. Stop trying to remove someone else's mote while your own mote is evidently showing. Note that HE also used "speck" and "log". What you see is a speck and there is a log in your eye!

None of us is righteous, therefore, NONE of us has the right to judge anyone's life. We have more than enough flaws to deal with for us to have time to look at the flaws of others.

In fact, Jesus made it clear that He especially had a problem with the hypocrisy of the Jewish religious leaders of His time. In other confrontations with them, Jesus made some pretty strong statements against those leaders:

"Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you clean the outside of the cup and of the dish, but inside they are full of robbery and self-indulgence. You blind Pharisee, first clean the inside of the cup and of the dish, so that the outside of it may become clean also. Woe to you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! For you are like whitewashed tombs which on the outside appear beautiful, but inside they are full of dead men's bones and all uncleanness. So you, too, outwardly appear righteous to men, but inwardly you are full of hypocrisy and lawlessness..." (Matthew 23:25-28)

Many strive to look clean. They think they can deceive everyone because they do look sleek and neat. But, the hate inside them comes out as naturally in their speech. Truly, "out of the abundance of the heart the mouth speaks." We cannot successfully hide what we have inside. We can dress up decently, make all attempts to sound pleasing, show a bright smile at all times... but, "As water reflects a face, so a man's heart reflects the man."

We must all remember that our righteousness come from Christ alone. No good works (esp no pretension) will help us out of our miserable state. We don't do good works because we are good. We do good because of the Holy Spirit, so that no one can boast. Let us get rid of the holier-than-thou mentality. We all fall short of the glory of GOD.

It isn't what they say about you, it's what they whisper.

Here's how it works... something is said about someone. Doesn't matter whether it's good or bad or terrible; true or just hearsay. The recipient's perception of the information will judge it based on two conditions -- (1) if the recipient of the information is indifferent, (s)he will just ignore. (2) If the recipient already has some rancor or even mindset about the person being talked about, they're kinda biased. The information, then, ends up being a weapon. A deadly one. The recipient(s) become talebearer(s) themselves. Next thing you know, the information's been spread like a virus infecting anyone who dare touch it.

What many don't realize is that gossip doesn't do as much bad to the one being talked about than to the infected. It is a toxin. It infects everyone. It becomes part of their system. It pollutes their judgment.

Gossip is like a delicious delicacy everyone wants to feast on. Not knowing they are being poisoned from the inside out. Because it's not a delicacy, but a contagion. Yet, people find it enjoyable for as long as they're not the topic.

What's sad is that people don't even take time to think before believing hearsay. People will believe what they want to believe. Regardless of the source.

The hardest and the most painful thing to realize is the fact that you may be a victim. You can decide with your heart to be good, but if right from the start you've already been judged, no good deed can ever remove the venom from their system. More so, if their hearts are filled with envy and hate there is totally NOTHING noble or grand enough you can do to satisfy them.

Sometimes, I wonder how come when people hear something ill being said about another they don't ask themselves "why is this person telling me this?" It puzzles me why we allow others to pollute our minds with their sharp tongues. And why we engage into this kind of activity. Nonsensical.

It's oh so true...gossip is not a mouth problem, but a heart issue. "For out of the overflow of the heart the mouth speaks" -Matthew 12:34.

"Evil people look for ways to harm others; even their words burn with evil.
Gossip is spread by wicked people; they stir up trouble and break up friendships."
-Proverbs 16:27, 28

Another thing I realized... we have to be very careful WHO we trust. The friend smiling at you and having fun with you...telling you things like, "am just here when you need someone to listen" ...may end up backstabbing you. Be careful of their traps. They may show you they care, but what they're after is a little information to say against you behind your back. They're actually your enemies in disguise. Waiting to hear something they like about someone they don't.

"Count not him among your friends who will retail your privacies to the world."

The Family that Rocks Together...Stays Together!

"Rock n Roll!" ...I still can't get over last Monday night's (April 18) super fun time with "The Smiths". Love the conversation, laughter & learning. Awesome experience, indeed.

I joined Pinoy Rock'nRoll Legend -- Pepe (Joey), pasaway dad's girl -- Queenie, DJ & model -- Sanya and the Jr. Rockstar -- Beebop as they dined in at Chocolate Fire in Makati.

Twas so fun being with them as if we're like long time buddies. No dull moment whatsoever. Just all chuckling and memorable chats. *big smile*

To the staff...I salute y'all.

Episode will be aired on the 30th of April 2011. Let's all support "The Smiths" show. Rock-rakan na!

Also, you guys might also want to visit Chocolate Fire and get intoxicated with their various chocolate creations. Only top-quality chocolate guaranteed.

I highly recommend the Kick A Chili Bark (choco slabs mixed w/ chili flakes)! Yummmmie!!!

Other interesting selections to try (must try!):
Dark Gold Bark, Dark Truffles, Chocolate Fondue, Dark Chocolate Volcano, Chocolate Mousse, Dipped Pringles, and many others...

It is, actually, more than just a dessert place. Chocolate Fire also offers sandwiches, pasta, salads, hot and cold coffee and chocolate drinks.

Chocolate Fire is located at PDCP Building Leviste Street, (corner Rufino Street) Salcedo Village, Makati City.

Telephone #: 840.34.73
Business Hours: 11 a.m. – 9 p.m.
Price Range per Person: Php 201 – Php 500

My job is to love people. It is GOD's job to change them.

Each of us encounter at least one difficult person every day. Lucky if you're spared of dealing with an irritating individual even just once in a week. Some even have to put up being with another person who possess an unpleasant attitude on a daily basis. It's like castigation they have to endure. Many are struggling to get along with spiteful supervisors or co-workers. There are those who have to stomach their own family member for being irrational or for being harsh with words. This is not something new. Truth is, there will even be a time when our own trusted friend will fail or disappoint us. Nobody need to hate us to hurt us. It's just the plain fact that we are all in a way selfish people always trying to grab what we so desire even to the point of stepping on another's toe. Human nature. Survival of the fittest. Competition. We are all going to inevitably hurt each other because we differ in many ways -- attitudes, values, beliefs, aspirations... No wonder the Bible tells us to, "Be tolerant of one another and forgive each other if anyone has a complaint against another. Just as the Lord has forgiven you, you also should forgive." (Colosians 3:13 ISV)

It is NOT easy to be tolerant. We are all creatures of emotions with different levels of threshold. But, if we are to take the Bible seriously, we need to be self-controlled. It might help if we remind ourselves that each one of us, every person you see every day -- and, yes, even that difficult person you have to put up with -- is God's creation... perfectly crafted in HIS own image (read Genesis 1:27). We may strongly think that a person needs to change himself, but it is really not our business to pinpoint anyone's flaws. We already have more than enough imperfections to acknowledge and change. Although, it is good to help someone realize his blemish for his self-improvement, we are in no position to demand and expect them to change. It is not our duty to change others. Our duty is to change ourselves and our attitudes and responses toward situations and people and follow Christ's example (1 Peter 2:21). To change ourselves -- our bad habits, attitudes, behavior -- is not an easy task. If we find it hard to change ourselves, then, we must understand that it is the same with others. God did not create us to be each other's critic. Jesus even gave us the following commandments: "Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven. (Luke 6:37)

There is also a need for us to acknowledge that we have certain attitudes that may be annoying to others, as well. So, we need to show kindness and compassion to our fellowmen just as God showers us with kindness, mercy and patience. One day, we will be placed in situations where we are going to fall short of someone's expectations and we want them to forgive us and give us a chance to change. It is but wise to sow kindness and compassion now. Do not be deceived: God cannot be mocked. A man reaps what he sows. (Galatians 6:7) If you sow kindness and mercy, you will reap kindness and mercy. If you do not forgive, you will not be forgiven. If you demand and expect, the same measure will be used against you. Jesus Christ showed an example of kindness. "When people were near Him there was this incredible magnetism because of an absence of unrealistic expectations and subtle demands and manipulative devices. HE did not use pressure tactics. HE simply accepted people as they were." -Charles Swindoll

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.” (John 13:34-35) My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. (John 15:12) Jesus Christ commanded us to LOVE ONE ANOTHER. How do we love others? When Jesus Christ was asked which commandment in the law is the greatest, HE emphasized that the 2nd greatest commandment is "love your neighbor as yourself"(Matthew 22:39). How do we love ourselves? Here's a good example:

When you accidentally cut your finger and it bleeds, you don't tell yourself, "I don't have time to stop the bleeding now. I'll attend to it later." In stead, you are urgent in taking action. You love yourself enough that you don't even have to think twice whether you will get a first-aid kit or you will just rush to do whatever you deem more important than attending to your wound. Your thoughts, words and actions are driven by your self-love. If you are to love your neighbor as yourself, the same urgent kind of love is required. "It's a love that notices the needs of another person and won't rest until it's been met."

How else can we love our neighbor as ourselves? By following the golden rule: "So in everything, do to others what you would have them do to you, for this sums up the Law and the Prophets." Yes, the Golden Rule is Biblical! Read Matthew 7:12. If we are to be imitators of Christ, we have to practice sincere love and loving is doing what you would have others do to you. When we failed or hurt someone we love, our automatic response is to be sorry. We want to be forgiven. We want to be heard as we explain ourselves why have we done such a thing. We want them to give us a chance to change. Therefore, it is but wise to do the same. Let's not be judgmental. Let's stop complaining about someone else's flaws and shortcomings. Quit spreading nasty rumors about the person you dislike no matter how terrible his behavior may be. Remind yourself not to put pressure on anyone to change. “Consider how hard it is to change yourself and you'll understand what little chance you have in trying to change others.”

We make excuses for our behavior, but when someone else does the same thing we do, we are often merciless. It's so typical how we look at ourselves through rose-colored glasses, but look at others through a magnifying glass.

Christ's commandment is to "love one another". No buts. HE did not tell us to love our neighbor only when they deserve it. HE did not love us because we deserve love. HE loved us in our worst state. God doesn't love us because we're good, obedient, or whatever. HE just do. No reason required. Therefore, we must love one another. Period. In fact, we're even instructed to LOVE OUR ENEMIES. (Matthew 5:44) So, if you need to deal with who you consider a despicable person, just love the person. Do not hate him. "Love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins." (1 Peter 4:8)

We all need a daily check up from the neck up to avoid stinkin’ thinkin’ which ultimately leads to hardening of the attitudes.

People often think that when they get what they want, that's gonna make them happy. I didn't have lotsa wants; at least, I can't recall any strong desire to acquire or possess something. Have always been content with what comes along. Whatever is handed to me, am already good with that. No demands. No more complaining. Have always been thankful.

But, I guess it'll always come in anyone's life when they start really wanting something. They'd try to do whatever it takes to get it. In my case, however, in stead of really grabbing what I want, I kept bugging GOD. In my thoughts, I didn't want to exclude HIM. I wanted HIM to bless my desire and I wanted HIM to give it to me. As if, bargaining, if you may call it that. I'd tell HIM indignant reasoning like, "I have not been asking so many things from YOU and just wait for what YOU want to give me. Maybe, this time around, YOU would be kind enough to consider my request." It didn't sound wrong, at least at the moment when I said it. But, well, GOD will always be merciful. Even at my dumbest moment, HE looked at me smiling, told me gently, "you don't know what you're asking for." HE's right. Always right.

All a man's ways seem right to him, but the LORD weighs the heart. The Book of Proverbs tells so much about wisdom. Sometimes, though, people allow the enemy to deceive them by believing his lies -- his accusation, temptation and deception. And it's important to note that Proverbs is not talking about plain human or life wisdom. It talks about Spiritual wisdom. We all must be aware that we wage war against spiritual enemies. And these enemies know enough that the best way to attack a believer is through his thoughts. It's a battlefield of the mind. When a Christian choose to believe the enemy's lie, his daily victory will be far from becoming real. And this is the same reason why many Christians wonder how come the "freedom" they are hoping for has not yet taken place in their lives.

No Christian is expected to do what is right all the time. And that is why Christ, once and for all, offered Himself as atonement for our sins. Because it is NOT possible to live a sinless life. I'd quote a book I recently read by Neil Anderson. He said, "Christians are saints who sin." It's true. Because for as long as we're here in this world, there'll always be failures. Well, the Bible clearly states that, "there is none righteous; no not one." Nevertheless, a Christian's position and identity in Christ shouldn't be used as a ticket to sin. For the Bible also states that, If we deliberately keep on sinning after we have received the knowledge of the truth, no sacrifice for sins is left, but only a fearful expectation of judgment and of raging fire that will consume the enemies of God. - Hebrews 10-26-27

Christians always face spiritual warfare and it gets more intense and forceful as faith increase. Nobody is exempt from facing this truth because the enemy's aim is for us to not receive victory and disprove the faithful work of our Savior, Jesus Christ. Christ promised us victory and freedom. But, the enemy wants to deceive us to believe his lie that it's never gonna happen. How? By injecting certain thoughts in our minds. That is why it is very important to keep praying for Spiritual wisdom and Spiritual discernment so as not to be deceived. The Bible advise us, "whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable--if anything is excellent or praiseworthy--think about such things." - Philippians 4:8

So, whenever a thought starts to bug you, don't just entertain it. Our thoughts and opinion and belief...they can lure us and reason out for us so we can do the things that are considered not pleasing to God. I don't mean to say our thoughts are naturally filthy. It might not be the case. It could be that the enemy injects an idea in our mind that seem logical. Or, because we so desire something, we tell ourselves, "it couldn't be that bad". Our minds can deceive us. Our desires can, as well. But, we need to remain dependent on GOD's will. We must never live as if we can go ahead of God and see what happens. This is the very reason why many Christians don't fully enjoy their victory as Christ's co-heir--Independence from God's will and purpose.

If there is emptiness in you and you can't feel real joy even you are successful and have all the wonderful things in the world, you might want to give it a thought to consider surrendering to GOD's loving care. Give HIM the wheel and let HIM lead you and start living a life that does not anymore conform to the standards of this world and then strive to renew your mind. Use Spiritual wisdom and discernment so you'll have a clear understanding whether your wants or desires or ways are pleasing to GOD. This will significantly help you experience real freedom.

Should we or should we not say, "Merry Xmas"?

Some time in the past, I heard a pastor mentioned in a Bible study that it is wrong to spell it Xmas. His reason being was it's removing Christ from the word, which is, well, not right. True enough. Why would you remove "Christ" from Christmas and replace it with X when He is the main reason why there is such an occasion in the first place? Over the years since, I hold this argument to be true. Because, plain and simple, it makes so much sense.

Arguments about this topic come out every year as the season is felt. Recently, there have been factual explanations as to the validity of the use of "X" to allow the use of "xmas" without conservative Christians reacting negatively -- "X" comes from the Greek letter Chi, which is the first letter of the Greek word Χριστός (Christos), translated as "Christ"." -- It's some sort of a symbol or something based on the Christian origin of the word. X has become a symbol for Christ, and studies show that it's not just a modern day usage. It dates way back in the ancient times.

I am not gonna go further into details of the historical facts of when, who, or what started it. Although, the main explanation for abbreviating Christ's name is for the purpose of transcripts. But, here's one question I have in mind, "because we found a factual (and not to mention, Christian origin) explanation to use X to say xmas means it's ok to?"

Here's the thing...Not everyone knows Greek. Not everyone is educated. And we don't need to inform everyone about the facts related to its ancient usage if we can simply just write Christ as is. Why do we need to make use of symbols in the first place? Are we some sort of fraternity or cult? Don't we want people to know who we are serving that we have to use symbols, which are known only by scholars?

What many people know about X is it's a symbol of any of the following: unknown, cross, wrong. At least, these are what people know. In fact, children, when they see X, they automatically see it as WRONG (mistake). As in in test papers. "In cartoons, Xs are drawn instead of eyes to indicate the death of a character. X is commonly used as a generic mark. There's even a term GenX." These are what many people know about the letter and not the X Greek origin fact we are now being presented with to validate xmas. And because of this, majority, especially the underprivileged will read Xmas as EX-mas and have no opinion about it whatsoever. Then, they just accept it as that.

I mean, it's not that we can all educate people to know certain things. And informing everyone of the fact may or may not help, at all. We say, "it's just how it's spelt. The real essence comes when we have it in heart." But, if spelling "Christ" in full to make sure that we are not talking of "unknown" someone (as the reality tells us that too many people are aware not of the Greek fact but of what we know what x is and how it's actually used in everyday situations)...we are talking of our Savior. We wanna make sure that Christmas is pronounced as Christ-mas than ex-mas. At least for the sakes of the majority who do not know history.

Am not being a fanatic of some sort by saying this. Am only thinking of those who are simple-minded. We, Christians, want to promote Christ. And if we are to do it, then, why use a term that is not well understood by many if we can simply spell it out, anyway? Besides, we don't use Greek in our everyday language. Why to say Merry Christmas we have to use X (as if we're Greeks) and replace "Christ" with X (and ends up pronounced as such) only because we have the knowledge of what we're talking about without considering, well...the kids, the homeless, the uneducated ones who can't even read or write, or even those who can but the best they know is that x is nothing but EX. "Who cares?" So they say, "yun na yun"!

X being Chi is Greek. We are English speaking nation. Is't really hard to spell the name of our Lord and Savior the way EVERYONE can read and understand it as it is? ...and not like a fill in the missing word because whatever we say, X remains to mean unknown (our everyday language)...used as substitute ... just-fill-in-with-any-word-you-wish something. That's why we declare the name of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. To let people know who HE is and what HE has done for mankind. If we are to replace His name with X, which has several equals, what's the use that Christ is named that?

Personally, I'd rather use "Christ". I won't mind typing/writing long just to make sure I am referring to only HIM and not just anyone. I mean, come on! This is Who we call our Lord and Savior and we can't even spell HIS name in full! Or rather, we don't want the hassle of typing 6 letters so we type 1. Convenient! Worse, we cause other people to just follow whatever practice started long time ago. We're not even certain when it started and if it's even truly acknowledged or accepted. Yes, there may be accounts to its usage by early Christians but how far do we know?

I don't know with you, but if people are to give me a birthday bash and they're gonna print a banner that says, "Happy Birthday JCN", am not sure if I am going to really appreciate it. Like how many JCNs do we have in the family? How many JCNs do we have in my clan? I want people to say my full name. How wonderful it is if I see my full name there on the banner! That assures me that it's me they're really greeting and not some unknown whoever. I don't like JCN. How much more if someone refers to me as X?!

Personally, I see this issue the same as emphasizing Santa Claus rather than baby Jesus and substituting "Happy Holidays" for "Merry Christmas".

Now going back to the main topic, "should we or should we not" is NOT the question. The question is "why?"

Doing Good Makes You Fake

Prolly it's just me. Still overwhelmed and still can't believe. How can you easily mend when you sincerely cared for someone, offered your real friendship and love to this person, given your time and effort ... only to find out that some nasty words said about you can influence this person's view of you and unsparingly judge you? I smell a lil odor of ungratefulness here. Or unreal friendship, perhaps? The friendship was only based on good weather condition. When storm comes, everything is wrecked.

Am not sure if it's a problem on the giver's end or the recipient's end. If it's the giver's, what lesson learned is this:

be always careful NOT to show any negative attitude whatsoever, or else, EVERY good you have done will be forgotten -- crumpled, thrown into the rubbish and expunged from history.

This is what happens when you can't consistently be nice. So, don't be(?).

It's such a tough job to be a nice person, don't you think? Why would anyone want to be nice at all if one single wrong done can be a license for people to say you've only been showing a facade? Well, one way to heal is be numb to judgments. "Don't let others' opinion of you define you." I agree. Just so happens that rumors ruin reputation. That's why we are reminded to be careful with our words... be careful what you say ABOUT or TO someone because "our words can either be a brick to build or a bulldozer to destroy".

My concern here is, "can't anyone remember the good a person has done anymore?" After all the good things done to you, you rather see the bad? Worse, you have to drag other people to hate this person, too! This reminds me of a professor who showed the class a smooth white sheet and asked what do we notice. Everyone started saying their observations being, "there's a small dot in the middle!" The professor continued saying, a bigger tendency of people is to find what's wrong in someone or something, in stead of just seeing the whole. Which is true. Why are we such critics, in the first place? When we know in ourselves that there are lotsa imperfections in us.

By saying this, I don't mean that we must never tell another what's wrong with him. We should. It is our social duty to try to correct another being, especially a loved one, for their sakes. But, this should be done with love and sincere concern. Not to disparage or to humiliate or to abase. Not to tell them they are no good and we are far better. Correction should be done out of real concern for the welfare of the person.

This reminds me of another situation. Your friend has halitosis, would you tell him or not? Or would you just let another person do that for you?

One way to gauge whether a friend is real or not is if (s)he can openly correct you when you've done something wrong and not tell someone else about it. Isn't it called gossiping when you rather tell someone else something about someone? I mean, issues within two persons need not be broadcast-ed to the rest of the world outside them. As much as possible, keep it between the two of you. Talk about it when your friend offended you. chances are, (s)he might just be facing a battle that's why (s)he behaved the way (s)he did. When friendship is real, offenses can easily be forgiven and forgotten. Mature friendship understands that we all are going to inevitably hurt each other because of one simple explanation -- we all differ from each other. We think, act, speak, feel...differently. That makes each of us unique.

Trusting is hard in cases like this. Why? Picture this... you've offended someone, but (s)he rather not tell you and act friendly, still. Showing bright smile and all. But, in your absence, there (s)he blurts out what (s)he finds wrong in you to people who are totally not involved! And these people will start throwing judgment at you because the nasty words came from a reliable source, anyway -- your close friend!

How can you trust this friend if (s)he can smile at you as if nothing's wrong when inside (s)he harbors ill feelings? When is the smile real? When is it not? How would you know if you're being offensive to him/her if (s)he chooses to pretend (s)he's not affected by anything you say or do? Can't we just be completely REAL to each other? Is confrontation really not an option, at least, to try to restore a threatened relationship? *sigh*

What's more sad is, they're sooo into themselves that they don't/can't acknowledge they'd done something which hurt you. I'd quote a pastor. He said, "it's easy to forgive until you have something to forgive." True enough. There are, actually, offenses that are easy to forgive and to forget. People who you don't have to sweat forgiving. Personally, I find it hard to forgive those who you give your full trust to and then betray you. Hmmmm, sounds like it's all on me. My mistake. Wrong choice of who to trust. Ok, I'd shut up now and end up taking all the blame.

Screaming inside but can't be heard.

Even though I loved you so much, I just couldn't deal with the pain. And, the times we spent together, holding each other, were the best times of my life. But no matter how much I wanted to keep you in my arms, I couldn't. I couldn't hold on to you, knowing that all you were going to do was hurt me. But right now, even though I still love you, I don't need you anymore. I don't need you to complete me. I just need you to comfort me when I'm sad, support me, and listen to me when I talk. So, I guess what I'm saying is, I'm glad we're over. I'm glad I've let go I can cry a million tears, but you'll never see my frown. I'll whisper your name one thousand times, but you'll never hear a sound.

Swallow your pride occasionally, it's not fattening.

"Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment, in accordance with the measure of faith God has given you." Romans 12:3

Judgment and criticism are fruit of deeper problem -- pride. When the "I" in us is bigger than it should be, it will always cause the kinds of problems such as friction in relationships. The Bible repeatedly warns us about being high-minded.

Whenever we excel in an area, it is only because GOD has given us a gift of grace for it. If we are high-minded or have exaggerated opinion of ourselves, then it causes us to look down on others and value them as "less than" we are. This type of attitude or thinking is extremely detestable to the Lord, and it opens many doors for the enemy in our lives.

The devil loves to keep us busy, mentally judging the faults of others. That way, we never see or deal with what is wrong with us.

We cannot change others, only GOD can. We cannot change ourselves either, but we can cooperate with the Holy Spirit and allow Him to do the work. First step to any freedom, however, is to FACE THE TRUTH the Lord is trying to show us. Remember, your actions won't change until your mind does. "You cannot change what you do not acknowledge." One will never change if he keeps giving excuses to his faults or mistakes instead of acknowledging them before God and initiate willingness and effort to change.

When we have our thoughts and conversation on what is wrong with everyone else, we are usually being deceived about our own conduct. Therefore, Jesus commanded that we not concern ourselves with what is wrong with others when we have so much wrong with ourselves. Allow GOD to deal with you first, and then you will learn the scripture way of helping your brother grow in his Christian walk.

"Why do you look at the speck of sawdust in your brother's eye and pay no attention to the plank in your own eye? How can you say to your brother, 'Let me take the speck out of your eye,' when all the time there is a plank in your own eye? You hypocrite, first take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother's eye." Matthew 7:3-5

We ALL make mistakes. We ALL have weaknesses. The Bible says that we are not to have a hard-hearted, critical spirit toward each other, but instead, to forgive one another and to show mercy to one another just as GOD for Christ's sake has done for us.

"We often look at ourselves through rose-colored glasses, but we look at everyone else through a magnifying glass." This is giving ourselves more than enough privilege to err but giving far less tolerance when others fall short of our expectations. We make excuses for our own behavior, but when someone else does the same thing we do, we are often merciless.

The best way to battle pride, judgment and criticism in our thoughts and deeds is to replace our thoughts with the Word. To recite it in our head, and much better verbally, and let the enemy know that we are not going to succumb to what he is trying to do -- destroy our character. The character GOD is creating in us. It will be helpful if we speak this verse often, "God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble." [James 4:6] To remind us that GOD is not pleased with those who look at themselves highly than they should. In fact, there is nothing that we can brag about in this world. We are nothing. Everything comes from GOD. What right do we have to compare ourselves to others and tell ourselves we are better than them? It's like telling ourselves, "GOD loves me more that's why He created me better than everyone of you". Truth of the matter is, God shows no favoritism (Romans 2:11).

If we are serious in our walk with God, we do not want to allow the enemy pollute our minds with "I-am-better-than-everyone-else" mentality. We got to start making an honest assessment of ourselves. Acknowledge before God that we started the habit of comparing and judging. It is impossible to get from wrong behavior to right behavior without first changing thoughts. If we strongly believe and cling to what we believe that there's nothing wrong with us, then, God can never begin His work in us. The character and destiny He intends for us will have to take long before we can finally see and receive them. Or, they may never come. We are saved, yes, but without complete freedom and victory.

Are there any prayers you've been telling God for years and for the longest time you still don't see them happening? No answer whatsoever? Why not take some time to meditate...make an honest assessment of yourself..."what needs to be changed in me that God is silent about my prayer?" Is it pride? Is it your critical mind?

What supposed to be just an eleven-day journey took forty long years of journey only because of attitudes not corrected. (Deuteronomy 1) We can keep hoping forever all we want that our prayers will be answered and yet we're not willing to listen to what the Holy Spirit is saying, it might take us more than 40 years to receive our heart's desires.

The LORD does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the LORD looks at the heart. 1 Samuel 16:7

It is wise to be real honest with ourselves about issues concerning our hearts. Are our thoughts right with God? How about our attitudes?

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“A proud man is always looking down on things and people; and, of course, as long as you're looking down, you can't see something that's above you.” ~ C.S. Lewis

Through pride we are ever deceiving ourselves. But deep down below the surface of the average conscience a still, small voice says to us, something is out of tune. ~ Carl Jung

Pride is an admission of weakness; it secretly fears all competition and dreads all rivals. ~ Fulton John Sheen

"If you love ME, love my rag dolls." - GOD

Sure we all desire so many things. This includes love. The very person we so wish will be with us forever. We desire strongly out of this longing inside. From this desire springs a lot more other things such as expectations, pain, disappointments...blah blah blah. Once, you thought if you only have this person (or something) in your life, you'll be happy. You never stop wanting, desiring, longing. Until one day, the person's (or the thing's) yours. Of course, at first, everything's fine and dandy. Butterflies and rainbows. Mostly sunny days. But, there'll always be storm. It will always come just when we least expect it. You probably have this in mind. You're prepared, no doubt. Why not? You operate with so much love. Just, little by little though, the other person whom you thought shares the same feelings with you don't operate with the same amount of love to your surprise. The relationship gets shaky. You try hard to hold it. To hold on. With all your strength. The love that once made you extremely happy is now causing you so much agony.

We keep asking GOD the question, "why?" "Why do I have to suffer?" "Why does it ache so bad?" We look else where for someone or something to blame without realizing that it is "our own selves" that caused us all these. It is our CHOICE.

This is what happens when GOD allows us to receive what we desire. He makes us realize how what we so yearn for can't truly make us happy. Happiness can't be found anywhere, in fact. It is within (if we are under HIS grace and love). If only we don't try to look for happiness outside of ourselves and just be happy who we are and what we have. Be content. Wait for GOD's perfect timing. We'll all be surprised at how right HE has always been.

Thing is, we all are unlovable. No matter how lovable you may look from outside, there are still so many things inside that can appear unlovable to others, eventually. (Just consider the number of broken relationships. What could've caused them?) In fact, looks will fade. One day, you'll also be unlovable. And it is in our unlovable condition that we, actually, long to be loved. NOT when we're lovable. It's easy to give love to lovable people. We all sneer at those we find unpleasant without realizing that we are, ourselves, less than lovable in the eyes of GOD. But, HE loves us, anyhow. Only GOD can look at our ragged selves with so much love and compassion. HE sees our thoughts and feelings. How we scheme against another. How we murder an innocent person with our minds. How we mess with our enemies' (sometimes even friends') reputations. All these HE sees. Yet, HE loves us still.

While watching the movie, "the Invention of Lying" one Monday afternoon, I thought, what I truly desire is to be loved in my unlovable state. Not when I am calm, patient and all the wonderful traits I have. I want to be loved more when am angry, depressed, irrational, dumb, careless...blah blah blah. I desire to hear, "I love you" just when I have done something terrible. Because this is just the time I need it. This is just the test how much one loves me. NOT when I am easy to love. How divine it would be if a "Mark Bellison" comes to me and sees me just as I am with all my bluntness & cruel remarks, and yet sees through me. Sees beyond my external. Anna McDoogles kept throwing him all the nasty comments he needed to hear. Enough to keep him away. But, he sees the unlovable in her without denying it and loves her still. She learned to love him back later on in the movie as she learned what it means to look beyond someone's appearance.

GOD loves us this way. He loves us so that even we're unworthy, ragged, wicked...HE still wants us. HE's still searching for us and wanting us to come back home to HIM. You probably have had people who professed their love for you and yet when you're at your worst left and never came back. Or, you left and they never searched for you. But, GOD, HE is the ultimate definition of LOVE. HE loves beyond reason. We never gave HIM any reason for HIM to love us. We don't even make enough effort; but, HE loves us just the same. Truly, in this world, we'll keep searching and searching for people, for things we think can make us happy. Can make us feel loved. But, it is ONLY GOD who can give us this kind of love and happiness.

I am always challenged by GOD to love others the same way. HE exposes to me how unlovable I am, yet HE loves me more and more. HE taught me that it is easy to love others, even the unlovable, when one experiences undeserved love. GOD has placed a tag price on each one of us. HE bought us for a price by sacrificing HIS only SON, JESUS CHRIST, as substitute for our sins. For yours and mine. If we only see how valuable each person is in HIS eyes, we'll probably see everyone valuable and precious, too.

We can never truly find happiness if we keep looking at imperfections. We should see imperfections right in the eye but we have to see it with love. We have to see someone's brokenness in order that we understand that all people are just like us...most of the time, broken. We, each one, fail. Almost always. If we are gracious in giving ourselves tolerance, then, why not give tolerance graciously to our fellowmen? We chase the wrong things. We keep asking and asking but are not willing to give. We demand that we be given happiness but we don't even take the responsibility to be good gifts to others. In stead, we hurt others. Sometimes, we hurt unintentionally, yet, don't feel any sorry at all. Apathy.

This is so sad.

I desire to be loved in my raggedness. Therefore, I must give love in spite of other's raggedness. GOD calls us to love HIM and HIS people (Matthew 22:36-40). It's a package deal.

"Our only business is to love & delight ourselves in God."

What we need to understand is that we're created to do good (Ephesians 2:10). We are commanded to consider others better than ourselves (Philippians 2:3). Our walk should not be influenced by selfishness. Otherwise, we'll find the 2nd greatest commandment -- 'Love your neighbor as yourself' -- hard to do.

Growing up, I thought I have already learned and actually practicing selflessness. I exerted so much effort following the things the Bible clearly instructs people must do. I found it easy, actually. Not for anything but I recently realized why -- I was less selfish when I was younger. Obeying was like taking candy from a baby. Trusting was effortless. I trusted that all what my parents commanded are beneficial for me without asking questions. So, there's almost always no hesitancy or refusal to follow. Whenever I felt I wasn't getting what I deserve, twas still easy as one-two-three to obey. Hafta be real honest, though... maybe, twas easy before because I knew there's nothing that I can do. I was powerless and under their authority. They have the last say, anyway. But, thing is, there's complete SURRENDER. That's the difference between the then and now.

Matthew 18:3 teaches us to "become like little children". Children have such humility and obedience. Give them instructions and they will follow. Sometimes, they'd question, but, they'd still obey. They also have desires. They're bounded by rules. They can't always get what they want. They're limited to what the older people tell them to do. They always have to ask and often, the answer's NO or NOT YET. They'd throw tantrum, but in the end, they'll surrender.

I believe, this should also be our attitude. Yes, we may have our own desires. We think we know what's good for us. We're capable. We're knowledgeable. We're not anymore babies or children. But, there's still a need for us to exhibit humility. All of us should acknowledge that GOD has a grand plan for us. HE is inviting us to obey because HE knows what's best for us. HE alone understands what HE wants for our lives. Proverbs 3:7 tells us, "Do not be wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD and shun evil." There are lotsa things we think are just OK. But, they're not in GOD's eyes. There is a way that seems right to a man, but in the end it leads to death (Proverbs 14:12).

We can never learn to surrender unless we start becoming selfless. Without us setting aside our self-trust that we're this and that good... we have achieved so much, we can earn this much...blah blah blah. We have to have an attitude of humility before GOD. That HE is our all. That HIS Word is life. Like little children, we have to forget ourselves and trust our Father who is the author of our life and provider of our needs. Unless we understand our nothingness apart from HIM, we'll never experience the kind of life GOD promises to give us.

I hope to be that child again who trusts GOD and people. Denying myself, my wants, my desires to give way to what GOD has in store for me. "If anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me." (Luke 9:23) May this verse be real in my life for my soul's sake.

"Turn your wounds into wisdom." — Oprah Winfrey

"All the years you've waited for them to "make it up to you" & all the energy you expended trying to make them change (or make them pay) kept the old wounds from healing & gave pain from the past free rein to shape & even damage your life. Still they may not have changed. Nothing you have done has made them change. Indeed, they may never change. Inner peace is found by changing yourself, NOT the people who hurt you. You change yourself for yourself ...for the joy, serenity, peace of mind, understanding, compassion, laughter, & bright future that you get."

Commitment is a need that says, “no matter how bad the weather become, I’m willing to stay.”

GOD blesses us with people who appreciate our very being when our hearts are too hurt. Whenever I feel that life gets a little too tiring, I go back thinking of wonderful people who remind me that I am important and valuable. GOD uses them to restore my strength and faith in myself. It's really amazing how GOD comes to our rescue by using individuals to touch our lives in ways too astonishing to describe. Sometimes, life's struggles are too hard to face and little defeats drain our energy. All us need lifting every now and then. And because it's not always that we're sensitive enough to feel GOD's embrace, HE sends us people to comfort us and make us feel loved.

In my life, however, there's not a lot of people who can be vocal enough to express how they feel about me. Their appreciation remains within them. (If they even appreciate me, at all. ) But, hey. I gotta say that just like everyone else I, too, need some words of appreciation and encouragement. We all do. But, this doesn't come as often with me, though. So, I thank the people who are bold enough to tell me how I changed their lives...how I have become a blessing to them...and all that. Simple yet meaningful words. They penetrate right into my core.

It's not my birthday. The 1st image was sent by Fely. She sent me an online greeting card on the day of my birth anniversary. I have no clue as to how I changed her life but, I feel so honored to receive such compliment from a person I 've NEVER met. She sent me an online greeting card with that short note. Tis one of the reasons why my 2010 birthday I consider the happiest although without a big bash. It did made my day knowing that, somewhere out there, someone's life has been changed because of me. At least, I can tell myself that my life makes sense. That I don't just exist. I matter and I offer something to the world. And more than anyone, I thank GOD for enabling me to be this kind of person I am now to touch hearts and lives. It's all about HIS grace.

Lila... she's been a sweet, loving friend. We started out as online friends and now, we're so attached to each other like we're real sisters. FYI: she's in Bacolod and we rarely see each other. Seldom do we get to chat, as well. With her I feel that I can just be myself. Without being too cautious that I might shoo her away. She doesn't hesitate to throw praises at me -- loving, kind and encouraging words. Never grows tired of sending greetings through sms or ym no matter how long she has to wait to get a response. A friend who requires nothing. Who doesn't demand and ask for something in return. We argue a lot. We have a lot of differences in opinion and views but at the end of the day, we still respect each other with full acceptance and without question. Such a wonderful feeling.


Then, another cyber friend, Marc. I remember I used to call him my avid blog reader because he's always the first one to read my posts and the first (often only) one to post comments. His thoughts are deep and he encouraged me during the time in my life where even I can't appreciate my own self. I have witnessed how GOD is present in my life through these people who out of the blue just happen and influence me in countless ways. I am thankful. What else is missing?

Still, I have a few more people to include but, I wasn't able to capture their actual messages. Some are stored in my mobile phone. Yet, I want them to know that they are appreciated, loved and thought of. I need them to know that they made a very big impact in my life. Whatever I am now...well, am just a product of each one who moved and touched me as I walk this journey...I owe it all to GOD and to the blessings HE keeps sending my way. If it wasn't for you guys, I will never be who I am. Love you all.

Know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubble gum.

Only once in your life, I truly believe, you find someone who can completely turn your world around. You tell them things that you’ve never shared with another soul and they absorb everything you say and, actually, want to hear more. You share hopes for the future, dreams that will never come true, goals that were never achieved and the many disappointments life has thrown at you. When something wonderful happens, you can’t wait to tell them about it, knowing they will share in your excitement.

They are not embarrassed to cry with you when you are hurting or laugh with you when you make a fool of yourself. Never do they hurt your feelings or make you feel like you are not good enough, but rather they build you up and show you the things about yourself that make you special and even beautiful.

There is never any pressure, jealousy or competition but only a quiet calmness when they are around. You can be yourself and not worry about what they will think of you because they love you for who you are.

The things that seem insignificant to most people such as a note, song or walk become invaluable treasures kept safe in your heart to cherish forever. Memories of your childhood come back and are so clear and vivid it’s like being young again.

Colors seem brighter and more brilliant. Laughter seems part of daily life where before it was infrequent or didn’t exist at all. A phone call or two during the day helps to get you through a long day’s work and always brings a smile to your face.

In their presence, there’s no need for continuous conversation, but you find you’re quite content in just having them nearby. Things that never interested you before become fascinating because you know they are important to this person who is so special to you.

You think of this person on every occasion and in everything you do. Simple things bring them to mind like a pale blue sky, gentle wind or even a storm cloud on the horizon. You open your heart knowing that there’s a chance it may be broken one day and in opening your heart, you experience a love and joy that you never dreamed possible.

You find that being vulnerable is the only way to allow your heart to feel true pleasure that’s so real it scares you. You find strength in knowing you have a true friend and possibly a soul mate who will remain loyal to the end. Life seems completely different, exciting and worthwhile. Your only hope and security is in knowing that they are a part of your life.

“I thank everyone that has caused me to suffer, w/o you I would've no reason to express myself.”

"At the end of the day, when it comes down to it, all we really want is to be close to somebody. So this thing, where we all keep our distance and pretend not to care about each other, is usually a load of bull. So we pick and choose who we want to remain close to, and once we've chosen those people, we tend to stick close by. No matter how much we hurt them, the people that are still with you at the end of the day - those are the ones worth keeping. And sure, sometimes close can be too close. But sometimes, that invasion of personal space, it can be exactly what you need."

I take the good with the bad. I can't love people in slices.

"We can't undo our mistakes, and we rarely forgive ourselves for them. But, it's a hazard of the trade. As human beings we can always try to do better. To be better. To right a wrong. Even when it feels irreversible. Of course, "I'm sorry" doesn't always cut it. Maybe because we use it so many different ways. As a weapon. As an excuse. But, when we are really sorry, when we use it right... when we mean it... when our actions say what words never can... when we get it right ..."I'm sorry" is perfect. When we get it right, "I'm sorry" is redemption."

Smile and be happy.

Found this really funny. A comment posted on my Friendster page by a stranger who has his hilarious style of starting a lil conversation...

Posted Apr 24, 02:28 PM
kasi ano., parang kamukha mo lang yung nakasabay ko sa jeep kasing ganda mo rin!.

...I was in a jeep where he also was and he found me later on on FS! His location is Bulacan (from his profile). Think I have amnesia. Where am I? Who am I?

Nice try! :) hihi

A single moment of true joy is more powerful than a lifetime of sorrow.

got up on the wrong side of the bed...power outage...missed Showtime...enduring extreme heat...too many things to be thankful for still. 2:15 PM Apr 8th via web

That's one of my posts on twitter yesterday. Although, drained and surly, I had the feeling that there are still too many things to be thankful for no matter how bad things around may seem. True enough, just a few minutes after, I received a package delivered by LBC. Lila had already sent her very early birthday present for me. Aww... For the next couple of minutes I was in a dilemma whether to open it OR wait til the date of the anniversary of my birth. The pull from the "open it" side was stronger so I grabbed a pair of scissors to aid me in opening the package. I found a stack of Bacolod goodies & a pink bag. It made my day.




Hafta be honest enough, though. I can't be on cloud nine enough because I can eat none of the goodies. First thing I did was check each labels for allergy alert. And, there it goes, my most fave local delicacy (Barquillos) announced right to my face that "I can't eat it!" Too bad. *frowns*




But, am still happy, don't get me wrong. The thought that a friend from far away place bothered sending me birthday presents is more than enough reason for me to celebrate, right? She made me feel how special I am. Well, anyone can do the same, ok. But, thing is, Lila has been suffering from so much pain with her pregnancy. Her knees are also giving her such a hard time to walk. Yet, she found her way to buy these delicacies and had them delivered fast. So sweet of her.

...and there's also a very short note. Nothing tear-jerky but I can feel so much sincerity in it.

Am thankful and happy. :)

Just want to share. Toodle-oo!

When you take things for granted, the things you are granted get taken.

No, I haven't really recovered yet. It's almost a month now but, every now and then, I still think about her. About how everything's been snatched from her in an instant. Or must I say, how she'd been snatched from us in a New York minute.

Twas RJ's (my big bro's) birthday when I received the news. 6th of March 2010. Unbelievable. A call from Kym changed my mood that night and the days after. Couldn't believe what I heard. It drained me completely and I haven't fully escaped that scene til now.

It's hard to react when you're conscious what people will say. I had to keep these emotions inside me for long. There's no reason for me to care, this is probably what everybody's expecting/believing. But, they're wrong. I have more than enough reasons to.

Right now, I don't want to concern myself about what others might say. No one knows what's inside me. I did care a lot about her. Guess, I still do. If this isn't sincere then why the regrets?

Too many times I thought of sending her a note. I'd look at her photos...how happy and fulfilled she looked. I wanted to understand what happened between us. We were doing fine until we're not.

There were times I just answered my own questions. Somehow, I was content thinking that people have different purpose in our lives. They come into our lives for reasons we can't, oftentimes, understand. Kind people come into our lives and move us in ways too wonderful to describe. Difficult people also come and strengthen us so we can become the person we ought to be.

There's nothing so special to say about the kind of friendship we had. It might not even sound appropriate to use the word 'friendship' to describe our relationship. We were casual friends, could be a much better term. We went to the same company. Saw each other almost daily. That's just what's about it.

What I used to write about her were hurtful things to describe how she made my life so uncomfortable. How she's so successful in doing so. For whatever her reasons were, they're all buried now 6 feet under. Perhaps, there's no point in knowing. Simply put, she's moved me in a different way. She brought change into my life in her own way.

Can't find those blogs anymore. Maybe, they had to be deleted because those are nothing but silly outbursts. Immature way of handling situations. But, I learned. A lot. I believe we both taught each other a lot. Whether we admit it or not.

Yes, I cared that much that for years I'd been battling my fears of rejection. Wanting to reach out but ended up just browsing her online albums trying to just be happy for what's making her happy. I understood that there are just people that simply don't jibe. We're that people. But, it doesn't mean there's nothing worthwhile to reminisce. She was a significant part of my life. Two trying years of my life. She, somehow, helped in opening my eyes to the real world. What's out there. We were both scared and shy. But, I knew she was stronger. Braver.

Someone said, "she touched people's lives". I couldn't agree more. She did. In so many ways.

Honestly, I hate myself for saying these things now that it's too late for her to know. To hear what I've been meaning to say. I could've fought my fears and made that brave act of sending her that note. I didn't. She will never know that I cared. She will never know how I felt about her. How she hurt me. How she inspired me. How she encouraged me. How she affected me good and bad. This is all pointless.

Guess, I only need an outlet to get this off my chest. The regrets. The "I could'ves". She's gone. I had already forgiven myself for not trying harder. My heart will continue to grieve. For how long, only time will tell.

When something like this happens, you wanna grab the people around you. The ones who matter the most.

We all have to be reasonable in making a decision to despise a person we don't personally know. Because what little we know about them is not enough reason for us to judge their whole being. There is more to each person than the small details we hear about them. Details that are from another person who happens to have nothing good to say about them. When someone hates another, is this person credible when it comes to defining the person he/she hates?