You will be a beautiful person, as long as you see the beauty in others.

“What the hell did you see in me?” 

“I saw YOU. That was all. Just you. Everything about you. And the entire package was everything I wanted. I didn’t want it altered or changed one bit. I just saw…you.”

―  One Last Chance 

Beauty can be seen everywhere even in the ugliest places and situations... simply by having the right set of eyes. The Bible says, 

"Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are healthy, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are unhealthy, your body also is full of darkness." Luke 11:34 

"But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!" Matthew 6:23

The way we view things makes a lotta difference. We can either see a situation positively ...or negatively. And depends on how we see a situation, that's how we respond. It's not the situation that ruins us, it's our attitude. If we don't realize and acknowledge this and make every effort to change the way we look at things, we are surely to end up filled with junk. 

It's a common excuse to blame others or circumstance for our failures or mess. A drug dependent pointing at his parents' busy-ness for his addiction. A teenage mom resenting her parents' separation. A womanizing husband ascribing his acts to his nagging wife. All these examples are nothing but lame excuses. We have been given free will to make our own decisions. We have the decision to either be influenced by outside forces or confront the issues we have within. Our responses to every situation we face reflect what we're made of. Our response to a given situation is based on our perspective ― how we perceive things. It's easier to pass the buck than to acknowledge one's own mistakes, it appears. 

I know of many "from rags to riches" stories. Those people didn't allow their circumstance to stop them from reaching their dreams. They did not wait for situations to change. They used their situations as inspirations to be better. They have the right set of eyes. 

Recently, I had a talk with a friend. She asked why bad things happen to good people. Sadly, I don't have the answer. But, what I know is, there's beauty in everything... only we have to find it. And if we can't really find it, we create it. Our vision is really limited. We can only see from an angle. Most of the time, we are positioned where the angle is bad. But, we need to remember that that angle is just a piece that completes the whole thing. 

There's this male friend who I've not seen for a while. He showed up one Sunday just to drop by and say hi. He asked about our common friend and said he wasn't receiving any mobile message from this friend anymore. All of us chanted, "he's really not replying to anyone!" I was surprised when he tried to convince us that this friend's replying to text messages because we all know that's not the case. He continued saying, "he replied to me once." I was impressed by how he rather see the positive instead of clinging to the negative. It doesn't matter to him whether our common friend replies frequently or rarely. What he sees is he does. 

Am also enthused by another person. Am just so amazed at how he CHOOSES to see only the good. He'd receive all sorts of discouragement, disparages, criticisms but what he chooses to hear are only what's helpful in building his hope. I asked him once about it and what he said was ...all the discouragement he's receiving only make him perform better. Whenever he's told he's not this and that...his response would always be "not yet, but soon."  In stead of sulking and hating, he uses the bad for good. Which reflects how good he is inside. How he sees things make him respond in an admirable way. 

There are times we can't really fool ourselves we're seeing only what's right in front of us ― unpleasant. No matter how we twist our lenses, it's just but that. Besides, we're really in a chaotic world. A world full of injustice, partiality, cruelty... but we're given a choice to have a better perspective. This doesn't mean we are to lie to ourselves we're not seeing what we're seeing. It's just choosing to draw the good in every bad. Seeing the beauty in the unsightly. Because there isn't any help in complaining about or sulking over what's not nice. But, if we rather change our perspective, we can respond far better; ultimately, improving our attitude and character. 

“In other words: Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. 

Don't just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.”  

―  Bossypants 

 

  

   

Love someone but let them be themselves.

“I don't deserve you. I'm not made for relationships. 

I know I'm going to *&$# this up. 

I'm going to drive you away or do something to hurt you, 

and you'll be added to my list of people I screwed over. 

You should walk away now.” 

― Unwritten Rules

What I learned about love is it's always trusting... believing only the good. I never thought about this nor it ever entered my mind in the past. Sure, I heard about this idea. To many, this translates to martyrdom. I've got nothing to say about that. Well...possibly. But, isn't love really about "sacrifice"? God gave His only Son as a sacrifice for EVERYONE'S trespasses ONLY because EVERYONE is important to Him. "God is love", the Word says. Someone always gets hurt by loving because loving is doing and it is denying of self.

Going back to my first idea... how wonderful it is to be loved without attachment nor expectation of return. By simply being loved is itself a gift. You know the kind which requires you not to be anyone else but yourself ― when you're at your worst...the monster nobody will ever endure...yet you're still loved. And, you're like squeezing your brain for reasons why you're loved like that when you don't even think you're lovable. Then, you'd just start melting and wanting to become a better person.

I think that's how love works. You are moved and changed because of love. You can't be any better by earning love. That only will put pressure on you thinking you only deserve love when you're at your best. When there are reasons for it. I found out it's not that way. You can't change because you wanna be loved. That isn't possible. Maybe possible...but very temporal. Your real self will always come out. It's hard to always try to be your best for fear people won't like you. It's being loved that gives the desire to be a better person. It's being loved that melts the hardest heart. Love is without reason. If it has, that's not really love but attraction. You're attracted to a person because of certain qualities you thought a person has. But, when that certain quality is covered by other qualities that aren't so nice, attraction fades. 

Love never fades. Love never gives up. Because love is beyond reason. It's just is. 

I understood this quite well, actually. For a looong time, in fact. But, until I've experienced it first hand, I didn't completely believe it's possible in this world. And, this time, am not only talking about God's love. Well, guess, God really has a wonderful way to make people really experience things that are hard to believe. HE's funny and brilliant that way. I thought that I was the only person striving to love unconditionally. But, God is truly faithful. He gives the best gifts wrapped in regular paper instead of nice wrappers. 

I couldn't believe I'd ever experience being loved at my worst. Well, God never stopped loving me. So aware of this. But, I mean, when all those years I've been longing to be loved and accepted (by people) without me having to be always nice and all or without me having to always meet their expectations...I was so frustrated those times. Can't anyone be loved as they are anymore? Does love always have to require people to be a certain way? Twas tiring trying to be always your best because you're only as good as your performance and behavior. It's like you're always in an audition for a role...best foot forward or you're out. I felt that way. And, in my desperation I cried out to God. All those times I did, He assured me of His love. In fact, I'd been so content with that love. Until, He sent someone to prove to me that unconditional love exists in human form, too. 

With this person, I never have to be my best. Am allowed to be who I am ―  am allowed to think, feel, act, behave the way I want or the way I feel NOT what and how others want or expect. I felt freedom. And, that's a relief. Love allows you to just be who you really are without you having to worry not being accepted if they found out you're not the gift they're expecting inside the box. It's wonderful that way. Love is free. You need not work to earn it. Love is a gift. If you hafta buy it, it isn't love. So, don't sweat it. 

This person am talking about has witnessed the darkest side of me when crazy, angry, frustrated...etc. Funny how this person was still able to say "you're beautiful" after me lashing out for long minutes. You know what I mean? Who don't look for reasons to love me but just do. Yes, there are things this person likes about me but those aren't even the measure used to continue wanting to be around me and yeah ...loving me. Those, in stead, are used to see through me. They serve as reminders that storms come, but they don't last. Just like my behavior for the moment esp when I get too emotional. They're only for a while. There's still bigger truth about me that gets covered by my tantrums and mood swings. 

The one who truly loves believes in you not only who you are at a given moment but the real "you" inside. Even the "you" you're not even aware you are, in fact. They're the mirror to your soul. And their love changes you. Their love gives you the desire to be a better person. 

The love chapter in the Bible says, "Love never gives up on people. It never stops trusting, never loses hope, and never quits." Who could've thought I'd really experience this in this world? When all I thought I was the only person who desires to love this way...I was made to encounter this kind of love, which sounds only possible in romantic movies and novels. Stories that make people giggle but remain mostly fantasies. Love like this, I realized, is for real. 

Whenever I think about this person, I am learning more about love. Love is really a verb, like I'd said many times in my blog posts. It's "doing". When you're living in love and walking in it, you don't see anything else. You don't expect. You don't wait to see if it's worth what you can offer. It just comes out naturally. You don't need to be aware or alert all the time that you must love. It's just like breathing. You don't forget it. It's involuntary. This person is gifted with sooo much love. Pure love that doesn't require me to love back and to be always proper. In fact, I'd been cruel most of the time. Still, this person gets to say, "you're loving, compassionate, sweet, understanding, gentle...blah blah blah" even after all the harsh treatments and words received from me! How amazing is that?!

The Bibles says, "blessed are those who have not seen and yet believed". I've always believed in love because I believe in God with all of me. Well, am MORE blessed it seems... because I believed and then seen. ^_^

Skeptics and cynics, am sure, they're just gonna think and say there's ulterior motive behind. Can't and won't blame them. Like I'd always say, perspective makes so much difference. If they choose to see things in a negative way, they're free to do so. I wish them the best because LIFE can be seen beautifully with all its mess and chaos. It's just having the right eyes. It's just a matter of choice. And I say this because I was, myself, a cynic. Once seen the world only as a terrible place. I have new set of eyes! 

...and PLEASE, I am NOT in love or anything. Don't gemme wrong. I was just enlightened about things unimaginably TRUE. *big smile*

                

True love never questions what it costs the giver.

I think that it's easier to give love than to receive love. At least, it's how I understand why many people keep their distance from those who love them. Whenever they think and believe that they're unworthy of love, they shy away and refuse to accept it. Their self-critical attitude ― NOT people ― disqualifies them from deserving love. In the process, they can't return love; rather, they reciprocate love with pain. 

By not knowing how to receive love, we also fail to love. We can continue the cycle of love ONLY if we give and take. When we give and not want to receive, the giver feels unappreciated and repelled. They most likely won't wanna give anymore. When we don't give and just keep taking, people feel abused. Wisdom speaks balance. Although, it is possible (and is actually recommended) to love without expectation of return, it is everyone's responsibility to learn and practice both giving and taking to maintain the cycle.

One of the biggest lies people believe is the word "unworthy". They always think that they gotta work to deserve love. In fact, they have their perceived standard of how love should look like. When others don't meet that standard, they consider them unworthy. By this standard they qualify who is deserving and who isn't. Similarly, they can't receive love because they're over-critical of their own selves. They don't meet the standard they formulated in their mind, so they think of themselves unworthy. The result? Love hindered.  

What we all need to absorb is that love is freely given. It's a gift. We don't need to toil to earn it. It's something bestowed regardless of our performance, behavior and appearance. We need to understand that there are simply loving people sent into our lives to make a difference. To bring out the best in us. To ignite what good within us that went hiding for long due to past failures, hurt and disappointments. People are God-sent messengers of love to help us become the persons we ought to be. These kinds of people see through us. They see beyond the monsters we are outwardly. If we just know how to receive love, we'll be able to see through ourselves, as well. They are the people who define us not with our mistakes and defects. They're the mirrors of our souls.

God chose to love us. We don't have to earn it. We only have to respond to it. God gives us loving people as gifts. We don't need to buy gifts, do we? No. What needs to be done is to receive and then appreciate. No matter how we think and feel we're undeserving of love because of who we are and what sins we've committed, remember that it's not about us. It's the giver's choice to give. We don't respond to kindness in a hurtful way, in stead, with gratitude and thankfulness. Those are enough to deserve a love so great.

If you know how it feels like to be rejected, you won't dare reject anyone, would you? Refusing love is rejecting love. We live in this world where INVESTMENT has become more important than the real important needs of every individual. It's sad, that even in loving, we act as investors. Our value is only as good as our performance. But being deserving of love isn't measured by performance. Truth is, nobody deserves love. We all fail. We all will malfunction at one point in this lifetime. No matter how good we do now, there'll be a time when we'll do badly. But, that doesn't nullify all the rest of the good we've done through the years. Love should, in fact, be our inspiration to be better than we were yesterday. It should cause us to change our ways. 

Quit running from God while HE runs after you with HIS unconditional love only because you feel guilty, shy or whatever. Stop refusing a love being given to you. Don't shoo God and people away only because of insecurity, critical-mindedness, and feelings of unworthiness. You only need to offer your palm and take it. No requirements needed. Just your open heart. 

“My identity and my security 

are not in my spiritual progress. 

My identity and my security 

are in God’s acceptance of me 

given as a gift in Christ.”

― J.D. Greear

  

A wonderful gift may not be wrapped as you expect.

...encourage each other every day, while you still have something called “today.”           

― Hebrews 3:13, ERV

The best gifts we can ever receive in this world are immaterial. Not sure if this is true for everyone but for me, it is. I am not the kind who expects to receive stuff whenever there are special occasions, though, I tend to express lavished appreciation for even the small presents handed to me. Y'know, like a lil child given a balloon ― all smiles and wide-eyed. ^_^ 

Material things get lost, can fade, wear out, break... but what remains forever are gifts that cannot be seen, cannot be touched, cannot be heard, cannot be tasted but can move the heart. They become a part of you. They help you see yourself better than yesterday. They add value to your substance. They're not seen by the naked eye but can be felt by the heart. 

If there is anything that I am most thankful for is that people give me the gift of TRUST. You know your own efforts, determination and perseverance. Fact is, it seems that it's only you who know about them. Most of the time, they even go unnoticed, neglected, ignored. You'd even resent that, in stead, you're treated as if non-existent or simply unappreciated by the way people act or react toward you. That often hurts and you'd feel like there's no point in continuing. But, it's really not the credit that you're after. When you function in love, act of service is but automatic. So, you go on. Then, just when you most needed it, the gift is given you. It's like a glass of cold water under the scorching heat of the sun. 

It's the same comfort anyone can receive through APPRECIATION. When no one seems to mind what hard work you've put into something, it gets exhausting. Like a fuel is to an engine, this gift is somewhat a necessity in any person's life. It's a lift when you're so down and feel like giving up. Guess everyone needs a tap on the back from time to time to know they're doing a good job as insecurity can really creep in whenever things aren't going your way. Appreciation is like a blanket on a chilly night. 

No matter how tough the things we face, for as long as we receive these two abstract gifts, we are revived. People are for people. We're created for each other not against each other. It is important that we practice appreciating and trusting for these things can heal a doubtful soul. Often, when everything seems to keep failing despite your best effort, you want to just accept defeat. But, when you know that there are people banking on you, it makes you strive more no matter how you're emotionally tortured. These are priceless gifts everyone longs for but cannot be begged. These are gifts better given voluntarily from the heart. Gifts incomparable to any gadget, accessories, etc. They speak more than the value of PSP, iPad, car, what-have-you. They enlarge the heart. 

LOVE is expressed through these gifts and that's what make them extra special. I thank everyone who filled my heart with joy through these gifts on the week of my birth anniversary. ^_^  I am so blessed.

“...if you have a message of encouragement for the people, please speak.” ― Acts, 13:15, NIV

  

Love without attachment is light.

Most people, as far as I can see, when they're in love with someone and the love isn't returned feel that they have a grievance. They grow angry and bitter. I wasn't like that. I never expected you to love me, I didn't see any reason that you should. I never thought myself very lovable. I was thankful to be allowed to love you and I was enraptured when now and then I thought you were pleased with me or when I noticed in your eyes a gleam of good-humored affection. I tried not to bore you with my love; I knew I couldn't afford to do that and I was always on the lookout for the first sign that you were impatient with my affection. What most husbands expect as a right I was prepared to receive as a favor.  ― The Painted Veil

Relationships seem harder these days because people aren't anymore willing to give unless they're so sure it's gonna be returned. Lately, I've even started asking myself if it's really true what the world says, "It takes two to make a relationship work." Logically, yes, it appears that it has to be a tandem effort. If it's just one it's most likely not to succeed. That's why it's called "relationship". You relate to a person (or persons). I can try and do everything I can to keep a relationship going but without the active participation of another, it's next to impossible to maintain. Either of the two persons need the partner's voluntary cooperation to keep it alive. Or it will eventually become tiresome for the person loving and working more.

I don't wanna delve so much into that view, though, if I am to consider the power of love. I think the very reason why most relationships don't last is because people believe it always has to be a tandem work. But, there'll always come a time when either one of the couple will fail and commit a mistake...grow tired and show less or no interest in keeping the relationship. Although, love may still be there, the other one also gives up after getting so tired from doing all the dirty job fixing the partner's mess. It's become an obligatory task of both to do something for each other and if that's not anymore happening, the relationship isn't anymore as good as it used to be. So, they end up parting ways.

Always the easy way out. Very rarely that people choose the unpopular move, which is to exert more effort and extend greater love. I dunno but I am saddened by the fact that we are only being fueled by what the loved person can give. If they fall short, our performance also gets affected. The basis of love isn't anymore from something divine and abstract. We already start to give reasons for it. "I love him/her because..." "I love him/her only if..."  "I love him/her but..."

By saying this, I am not trying to suggest that we should put up not being loved in return. That we should allow another person to treat us less than we ought to be treated. But, all am saying is, if we are to love, we need to stop focusing on expectations of return. There's a need to stop waiting and watching for obvious signs the love is increasing or deteriorating and in stead keep on doing and giving. I mean, just like the concept of running in a race and just looking ahead in stead of around to see if the rest of the others are running the same pace...or the concept where one is basing effort on the efforts of others (like in the workplace). I'd often hear people complaining ... "this and that person do lesser tasks and here I am drowning in the piles of work to do!" Even in love, our attitude is the same. We are unwilling to give more and resent tolerating another's lacks and weaknesses. Like the line I'd always use, we have been accustomed to doing investments rather than doing charity.   

 Relationships started going around "what's-in-it-for-me" mentality. "If I love you, you should love me back just the same way as I expected." No wonder a lotta quotes like this proliferates...

It's funny how we need to be reminded what the nature of love really is. I think the real problem is we've become so into convenience. Everything instant and easy. Technology makes life a lot simpler, so we thought. And everything being convenient, we refuse anything inconvenient. We don't wanna walk extra mile anymore. Why? What for...when I can simply get out that door? Nothing is as valuable to us as ourselves these days. We all think we're that special so we deserve more than what is being given us. Nothing is worth fighting for. Not even love.

But, as I meditate on how God is loving me, I realized there's no truth to what the world is injecting in the thoughts of human race ― "It takes two to make a relationship work." I won't deny it's a lot easier if both give the same amount of effort. But, I believe any relationship can still work for as long as there's still one person willing to give. Willing to love. "As long as one heart still holds on then hope is never really gone."

Pure love can change things. What cannot be moved by an act of kindness? Even the most jaded heart love can break. Only those who can't receive love because they know they're unworthy cannot be moved by it.

Some time ago, I didn't know how to receive love. God has been pouring His love graciously upon me but I just can't receive it because I know I was undeserving. Where did this thought come from? From the world which has been yelling at everyone saying: you aren't good enough. Someone's not good enough. You need to work work work before you can enjoy anything including love. And, that's why we also set that standard when loving others. But, God proved to me that it's all a lie that I need to deserve love before I can grab it. His love for me so moved me that it caused a change within. I am able to love with at least lesser expectations because He didn't expect from me. In fact, it's His choice to love me and I had no influence in that decision of His. I was not required to be loveable first. He just loved me and from it I learned to love Him back. His persistent love created between us a relationship that no one can ever break. He worked hard so that love can conceive in my heart. He didn't force me to love Him; in stead, He wooed me that I may start loving Him. 

For the longest time, I have been in a relationship with Him, it's all His work. I know about Him, I think about Him. I talk to Him. But, I wasn't really enough. Everything wasn't enough. I kept failing and I kept hurting Him with my actions and decisions. Most are deliberate. The love had been one-way for quite some time. What's amazing is, He never thought of leaving. He chose to stay and remain patient as I strayed. As I neglected Him. In stead of growing tired and giving up on me, He found genius ways to love me more so He can draw me back to Him. It's been all Him. So, why should I believe the lie of the world?

Yeah, yeah...He's God and we're not. Another lie people say. Another lie they allow to influence their beliefs. But, that's just all lie is about ― LIE. When you start experiencing the love of God, you get to have an overflow. He fills you with His abundant love and all the good stuff that it becomes more than enough to share with others. Well, too bad lies come one after the other. And worse, we may not fully enjoy LOVE in its truest form if we keep choosing to believe in lies. As for me...I've stopped believing them. I now only believe in LOVE.

Oh, before you leave...please take time to watch this vid...

“Love is always freely given. Love cannot be demanded. We can request things of each other, but we must never demand anything. Requests give direction to love, but demands stop the flow of love.”

― Gary Chapman

Toodle-oo!

 

Peace of mind comes from not wanting to change others.

“When you get to that point where you notice a person’s faults, 

you’ve got to decide if you can live with them or can’t live without them.”
― City Mouse 

I've learned that you can't control what other people are gonna think and feel about you. So, why need to be too careful? I rather just choose to be me ― do my thing...not care too much whether people like or not like it...enjoy ― than frustrate myself because people kept wishing I were something else than what they're getting. Am not a puppet or robot that will function based on anyone's expectations and liking. This is my design. If you can't put up with that, then please yourself and find what satisfies you. If am not doing you harm in a deliberate way, I think that's already enough. If you're hurting because of me... because of my design, then, am harmful to you, but it's still not my fault. So, quit the blaming. As different people have different reactions to certain medications...sometimes even food...maybe am simply your allergen. So, if am causing you more harm than good, then decide for yourself. Stop looking for more reasons to justify your lack of appreciation for the least of the things I do. Am not being mean. I just refuse to take more loads. That's all.

...and I believe this goes for everyone. Let's all live a stress free life. Get rid of toxins. Get rid of selfishness. Get rid of hate. Get rid of disappointments. Live and let live. Respect each other's differences. Just choose to be happy. ^_^ Happiness is my choice. I won't let anyone steal my joy. This is mine to keep.

“You don't ask nobody to give what they can't give, 

or be what they can't be. 

You've learned that, you got a head start on heartbreak.”

Choose: build something new and better from what is left or abandon it.

“Love chooses to believe the best about people. It gives them the benefit of the doubt.

It refuses to fill in the unknowns with negative assumptions. 

And when our worst hopes are proven to be true, love makes every effort to deal with them and move forward. 

As much as possible, love focuses on the positive.”
― The Love Dare  

 

Here typing my train-of-thoughts again...

 

You can try all you want to make someone see something that they don't want to see. Work with all your might to convince a person to realize what they need to realize. Just don't be surprised later on and end up frustrated when nothing's changed. You may have the best intention to help them improve their lives but the only thing you can really do is accept them exactly as they are today and love them for them. Love people for who they are and not for who you want them to be. If this is not all possible with you, let them go and let them find their own way, at their own pace, if they EVER choose to do so. Otherwise, you'll end up needlessly unhappy.

Once you notice yourself starting to get too focused on fixing a person ― every now and then looking for any trace of change or no change ― hold yourself back. You're not anymore loving. You're already trying to find reasons to love. But, since you find none (most of the time), you start collecting ill feelings. That's not healthy. When you begin the habit of nit-picking, you're only feeding yourself more reasons to justify your lack of love. It's, in fact, a sign there is no love or willingness to love. Might as well go some distance and take a break. If you think you can't find in your heart to accept a person, just choose to leave.

If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. ― Romans 12:18

 

Now, this is not me promoting self-interest here, but peace and harmony. If we end up expecting people to be how we want them to be and they refuse, we only set ourselves up to fail. And that means frustration. Frustrations translate to anger. Anger usually leads to bitterness. Before anything goes out of hand, might as well improve your state of mind or do damage control. That's all. 

 

I still believe that we ought to follow the two greatest commandments. Loving others as ourselves will really take a lot of pain before we master it. It's a discipline that requires lotsa flexing. We'll experience aches here and there. Because just like any discipline, we need to deny ourselves of certain things. If you don't want to fight, you need to shut your mouth and keep your hurt inside. You simply hafta mend your own broken heart. Things like that. But, if you're this kind of person who hoards, instead of letting go, it's not a good thing to solve the problem this way. Because it's just a matter of time and you'll explode. You're gonna be much worse than how you thought you are presently. We aren't supposed to be collectors of garbage but of collectible items. Sadly, many people seem to be so attracted to trash that they end up collecting them. 

 

Well, there's really no one rule for everything. It's not a one-size fits all thing. Just always choose the more beneficial one considering not only your own welfare but the welfare of others, too.       

Just saying...in case you find it impossible to really put up with loving the unlovable. Maybe, it's not yet your time. Maybe soon. But, until then, try saving yourself. Just make sure there's no negative feeling you're allowing to rent-free in your heart. Let go.

Good people who don’t stand strong against evil are like springs that have been polluted or pools that have turned dirty and muddy. ―Proverbs 25:26

Keeping it short...Ta-ta for now! ^_^