Love someone but let them be themselves.

“I don't deserve you. I'm not made for relationships. 

I know I'm going to *&$# this up. 

I'm going to drive you away or do something to hurt you, 

and you'll be added to my list of people I screwed over. 

You should walk away now.” 

― Unwritten Rules

What I learned about love is it's always trusting... believing only the good. I never thought about this nor it ever entered my mind in the past. Sure, I heard about this idea. To many, this translates to martyrdom. I've got nothing to say about that. Well...possibly. But, isn't love really about "sacrifice"? God gave His only Son as a sacrifice for EVERYONE'S trespasses ONLY because EVERYONE is important to Him. "God is love", the Word says. Someone always gets hurt by loving because loving is doing and it is denying of self.

Going back to my first idea... how wonderful it is to be loved without attachment nor expectation of return. By simply being loved is itself a gift. You know the kind which requires you not to be anyone else but yourself ― when you're at your worst...the monster nobody will ever endure...yet you're still loved. And, you're like squeezing your brain for reasons why you're loved like that when you don't even think you're lovable. Then, you'd just start melting and wanting to become a better person.

I think that's how love works. You are moved and changed because of love. You can't be any better by earning love. That only will put pressure on you thinking you only deserve love when you're at your best. When there are reasons for it. I found out it's not that way. You can't change because you wanna be loved. That isn't possible. Maybe possible...but very temporal. Your real self will always come out. It's hard to always try to be your best for fear people won't like you. It's being loved that gives the desire to be a better person. It's being loved that melts the hardest heart. Love is without reason. If it has, that's not really love but attraction. You're attracted to a person because of certain qualities you thought a person has. But, when that certain quality is covered by other qualities that aren't so nice, attraction fades. 

Love never fades. Love never gives up. Because love is beyond reason. It's just is. 

I understood this quite well, actually. For a looong time, in fact. But, until I've experienced it first hand, I didn't completely believe it's possible in this world. And, this time, am not only talking about God's love. Well, guess, God really has a wonderful way to make people really experience things that are hard to believe. HE's funny and brilliant that way. I thought that I was the only person striving to love unconditionally. But, God is truly faithful. He gives the best gifts wrapped in regular paper instead of nice wrappers. 

I couldn't believe I'd ever experience being loved at my worst. Well, God never stopped loving me. So aware of this. But, I mean, when all those years I've been longing to be loved and accepted (by people) without me having to be always nice and all or without me having to always meet their expectations...I was so frustrated those times. Can't anyone be loved as they are anymore? Does love always have to require people to be a certain way? Twas tiring trying to be always your best because you're only as good as your performance and behavior. It's like you're always in an audition for a role...best foot forward or you're out. I felt that way. And, in my desperation I cried out to God. All those times I did, He assured me of His love. In fact, I'd been so content with that love. Until, He sent someone to prove to me that unconditional love exists in human form, too. 

With this person, I never have to be my best. Am allowed to be who I am ―  am allowed to think, feel, act, behave the way I want or the way I feel NOT what and how others want or expect. I felt freedom. And, that's a relief. Love allows you to just be who you really are without you having to worry not being accepted if they found out you're not the gift they're expecting inside the box. It's wonderful that way. Love is free. You need not work to earn it. Love is a gift. If you hafta buy it, it isn't love. So, don't sweat it. 

This person am talking about has witnessed the darkest side of me when crazy, angry, frustrated...etc. Funny how this person was still able to say "you're beautiful" after me lashing out for long minutes. You know what I mean? Who don't look for reasons to love me but just do. Yes, there are things this person likes about me but those aren't even the measure used to continue wanting to be around me and yeah ...loving me. Those, in stead, are used to see through me. They serve as reminders that storms come, but they don't last. Just like my behavior for the moment esp when I get too emotional. They're only for a while. There's still bigger truth about me that gets covered by my tantrums and mood swings. 

The one who truly loves believes in you not only who you are at a given moment but the real "you" inside. Even the "you" you're not even aware you are, in fact. They're the mirror to your soul. And their love changes you. Their love gives you the desire to be a better person. 

The love chapter in the Bible says, "Love never gives up on people. It never stops trusting, never loses hope, and never quits." Who could've thought I'd really experience this in this world? When all I thought I was the only person who desires to love this way...I was made to encounter this kind of love, which sounds only possible in romantic movies and novels. Stories that make people giggle but remain mostly fantasies. Love like this, I realized, is for real. 

Whenever I think about this person, I am learning more about love. Love is really a verb, like I'd said many times in my blog posts. It's "doing". When you're living in love and walking in it, you don't see anything else. You don't expect. You don't wait to see if it's worth what you can offer. It just comes out naturally. You don't need to be aware or alert all the time that you must love. It's just like breathing. You don't forget it. It's involuntary. This person is gifted with sooo much love. Pure love that doesn't require me to love back and to be always proper. In fact, I'd been cruel most of the time. Still, this person gets to say, "you're loving, compassionate, sweet, understanding, gentle...blah blah blah" even after all the harsh treatments and words received from me! How amazing is that?!

The Bibles says, "blessed are those who have not seen and yet believed". I've always believed in love because I believe in God with all of me. Well, am MORE blessed it seems... because I believed and then seen. ^_^

Skeptics and cynics, am sure, they're just gonna think and say there's ulterior motive behind. Can't and won't blame them. Like I'd always say, perspective makes so much difference. If they choose to see things in a negative way, they're free to do so. I wish them the best because LIFE can be seen beautifully with all its mess and chaos. It's just having the right eyes. It's just a matter of choice. And I say this because I was, myself, a cynic. Once seen the world only as a terrible place. I have new set of eyes! 

...and PLEASE, I am NOT in love or anything. Don't gemme wrong. I was just enlightened about things unimaginably TRUE. *big smile*