Why does it seem that I always have to play the role of a second best? I am starting to hate it. Why can't anyone choose me for me and not because they want to be rid of someone? ...Because someone left them or they're fed up with the relationship? This is so insulting for me. I feel like I am just someone they can run to whenever they are in need of rescue. What am I -- a social worker? I feel like I am robbing a bunch of women their loved ones. It is just so frustrating. And I don't like the way it makes me feel. I feel like a crap. I feel like they're using me as an outlet or something. Can't men be man enough to commit? I don't like it that they always find a way out of what troubles they caused. And I am the accomplice. I just so despise it.
Yes, maybe I am just upset. I am saying this because I am damn upset that people can't love anymore. One time they'd tell you how much they love you and then later on after seeing the real you -- the attitudes they didn't know you have, they will just call it quits. Or if they found out that they want something else and you don't have it, they'd start treating you differently, give you less time and would make you damn insecure about yourself. And in stead of telling you up front, they'd make you guess. and girls would go like, "just what is wrong with me?" Girls would go crazy thinking what to do and try change themselves. It's just so habitual. Men just take the easiest way out. When they are broken they'd go look for some sort of entertainment at another's expense! How boorish! Insensitive freaks! (Sorry...I just feel so upset.)
I know I have no right to be rude even with words but I cannot contain this anymore. I don't understand a thing. I have so many questions running in my head and it's like I am starting to lose my sanity. For goodness sakes! Anyone tell me, Why?
I am in pain right now. I don't know what to believe. I don't know who to trust. And I am incapable of reasoning. People are full of schemes. They do things for their own advantage. For their own pleasure. For their own happiness. They don't even consider another's. How could they?
Ok, it's not right that I am generalising. Not all men are the same. But how can I not? Can anyone tell me?
There's someone I know who once loved a girl. After some time he realised he don't love the girl anymore because he couldn't put up with her despicable attitude. How can you fall out of love with someone just because of freaking attitude? I don't get it. You love someone for who they are. Without questions. That's why it's called love. If it's just infatuation or mere crush then I'd understand. Because you're just attracted to someone for physical reasons. But love is something else. Love is accepting. What if someone tells me he loves me and then after some time my ugly attitudes show? Will this someone leave me too? It's really freaking scaring the hell out of me. Nobody's perfect for goodness sakes! All of us have flaws. If people fall out of love because of something they discover...something they don't like about someone then nobody can love. Nobody is capable of loving. Nobody can be loved because of imperfection.
I found a new girl friend. She talked about pure love. She's insisting that there's no wrong in LOVE. She insisted that Love is pure. There is no fear in love. I know about it. I've read it several times in the Bible. "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." (1 John 4:18)...I don't understand this as clearly as I understand it now.
Pure love means loving unconditionally. Loving unconditionally means loving without conditions; Loving with all your heart. Seeing past someone's mistakes, imprefections... Who could really give this? So far, I have found none...only my mom.
Mom, she put up with my dad all her married life. She accepted all that dad had her put through. And I admire her so much for that. I know that she loved my dad unconditionally. Having seen all dad's imperfections, she loved him, stayed with him and they're still together til now. That is unconditional love. So, how can anyone say that it is impossible to love unconditionally? I think those saying this just don't have the will to do so. Love is also a choice. Someone may be hurting you but you can still choose to love them. And by loving someone with all your heart can/may cause change. Well, ideally speaking of course. But the problem nowadays, people just don't want to commit. They are just not willing to commit. Because there are so many options laying on the table. They think they can get away with things just like that. The world has given people more reasons not to stay. It is so sad.
Yes, maybe I am just upset. I am saying this because I am damn upset that people can't love anymore. One time they'd tell you how much they love you and then later on after seeing the real you -- the attitudes they didn't know you have, they will just call it quits. Or if they found out that they want something else and you don't have it, they'd start treating you differently, give you less time and would make you damn insecure about yourself. And in stead of telling you up front, they'd make you guess. and girls would go like, "just what is wrong with me?" Girls would go crazy thinking what to do and try change themselves. It's just so habitual. Men just take the easiest way out. When they are broken they'd go look for some sort of entertainment at another's expense! How boorish! Insensitive freaks! (Sorry...I just feel so upset.)
I know I have no right to be rude even with words but I cannot contain this anymore. I don't understand a thing. I have so many questions running in my head and it's like I am starting to lose my sanity. For goodness sakes! Anyone tell me, Why?
I am in pain right now. I don't know what to believe. I don't know who to trust. And I am incapable of reasoning. People are full of schemes. They do things for their own advantage. For their own pleasure. For their own happiness. They don't even consider another's. How could they?
Ok, it's not right that I am generalising. Not all men are the same. But how can I not? Can anyone tell me?
There's someone I know who once loved a girl. After some time he realised he don't love the girl anymore because he couldn't put up with her despicable attitude. How can you fall out of love with someone just because of freaking attitude? I don't get it. You love someone for who they are. Without questions. That's why it's called love. If it's just infatuation or mere crush then I'd understand. Because you're just attracted to someone for physical reasons. But love is something else. Love is accepting. What if someone tells me he loves me and then after some time my ugly attitudes show? Will this someone leave me too? It's really freaking scaring the hell out of me. Nobody's perfect for goodness sakes! All of us have flaws. If people fall out of love because of something they discover...something they don't like about someone then nobody can love. Nobody is capable of loving. Nobody can be loved because of imperfection.
I found a new girl friend. She talked about pure love. She's insisting that there's no wrong in LOVE. She insisted that Love is pure. There is no fear in love. I know about it. I've read it several times in the Bible. "There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love." (1 John 4:18)...I don't understand this as clearly as I understand it now.
Pure love means loving unconditionally. Loving unconditionally means loving without conditions; Loving with all your heart. Seeing past someone's mistakes, imprefections... Who could really give this? So far, I have found none...only my mom.
Mom, she put up with my dad all her married life. She accepted all that dad had her put through. And I admire her so much for that. I know that she loved my dad unconditionally. Having seen all dad's imperfections, she loved him, stayed with him and they're still together til now. That is unconditional love. So, how can anyone say that it is impossible to love unconditionally? I think those saying this just don't have the will to do so. Love is also a choice. Someone may be hurting you but you can still choose to love them. And by loving someone with all your heart can/may cause change. Well, ideally speaking of course. But the problem nowadays, people just don't want to commit. They are just not willing to commit. Because there are so many options laying on the table. They think they can get away with things just like that. The world has given people more reasons not to stay. It is so sad.
In this culture, it is so important to find a loving relationship with someone because so much of the culture does not give you that. But the poor kids today, either they're too selfish to take part in a real loving relationship, or they rush into marriage and then six months later, they get divorced. They don't know what they want in a partner. They don't know who they are themselves--so how can they know who they're marrying?
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no no and defenitely no not all mens are not rude and has no balls to faced thier comitment,womens do the same things either and even much more hurts to a men coz we dont have a channel to rely this kind of emotion.(only alcohol in particular)and some dabarkads that willing to listen...well helping someone maybe your vocation and calling especially to your friends coz maybe they found out your strong,open minded,reliable,optimistic,and GOD fearing person.keep up BAYBIEGURL
ReplyDeleteYes. I know that. That's why I made it clear that maybe I was just upset. I had to blurt out all that I was feeling that time. And just like what you said, it hurts big time when someone can't commit. When someone leaves you because they can't put up with you. But I don't agree that women move on easily than men. Men can date different women. Women can't force themselves to date just anyone. it's either they're too attached to the previous relationship or they're too conservative to do so. But, they can't move on that fast.
ReplyDeleteAnd yeah, sorry for being mean with words. I didn't mean to. All of us get to have a moment of anger.
thats the wrong impression that we get after a tragic relationship(we can easily dating someone)well FYI, to all women out there yes we go out dating not to have a brand new GF but to share the PAIN the GUILT that we felt inside.were lookin a channel to discuss our emotion,get some advise and we talk,get those matters to a WOMEN as well.So it doesnt mean after a broken relationship and you heard neitheir saw us dating someone else its not necessarily mean we already surpass the tragic event that occur in our life or were moving on.its a big NO,NO,NO.....dont you know that MEN are much more emoted than a WOMEN?we cried also,by words we are all MACHO but inside were griefing.when talking of emotion men are really hard to understand coz what you see its just a whole bunch of pretentions outside,sometimes its takes year before we can say were really movin on...dating,flirting and so on was just a channel that a man can do after a tragic love and mostly mis-understood,we have nobody to turn our grievances,hurt and regrets and it takes 2 bottles of EMPERADOR to burst this all negative emotion that we felt to a animal that we called WOMAN...and thats the bottom line and its true ha
ReplyDeletethats the wrong impression that we get after a tragic relationship(we can easily dating someone)well FYI, to all women out there yes we go out dating not to have a brand new GF but to share the PAIN the GUILT that we felt inside.were lookin a channel to discuss our emotion,get some advise and we talk,get those matters to a WOMEN as well.So it doesnt mean after a broken relationship and you heard neitheir saw us dating someone else its not necessarily mean we already surpass the tragic event that occur in our life or were moving on.its a big NO,NO,NO.....dont you know that MEN are much more emoted than a WOMEN?we cried also,by words we are all MACHO but inside were griefing.when talking of emotion men are really hard to understand coz what you see its just a whole bunch of pretentions outside,sometimes its takes year before we can say were really movin on...dating,flirting and so on was just a channel that a man can do after a tragic love and mostly mis-understood,we have nobody to turn our grievances,hurt and regrets and it takes 2 bottles of EMPERADOR to burst this all negative emotion that we felt to a animal that we called WOMAN...and thats the bottom line and its true ha
ReplyDeleteThat's my point. Men can always find a way to entertain themselves. I understand that they're not emotionally expressive. So, they are likely to keep what they feel within themselves. But we girls, when we see our boyfriends getting along well (with another woman) we feel like it's so easy for them to move on. How can we have an idea they're hurting when they're showing they're not?! We're not psychics, come on. Because girls after a breakup can't enjoy partying, meeting people the way men do. We're stuck with our emotions. When we need someone to talk, we talk with someone close to us. Most of the time with our closest girl friends (which I have none). But the point is, since men don't show their emotions, it's not anymore our fault if we see their reactions the way we see them -- having fun and already moving on. That's just is. And if I can remember it right, the topic was really about "commitment". That men can't commit anymore and they just take the easy way out. If they can commit then why the hell they had to quit? That's just the question.
ReplyDeleteyour mom are so admiring,i salute her hope i can find someone else like her whom can accept my shortcomings.how bout you,you can do the same things what your mom did? you can love someone also unconditionaly?
ReplyDeleteyour mom are so admiring,i salute her hope i can find someone else like her whom can accept my shortcomings.how bout you,you can do the same things what your mom did? you can love someone also unconditionaly?
ReplyDeleteI can't tell if I am like my mom. What she had gone through was terribly unimagineable. Don't get me wrong, my dad never abused her physically, but she was torned verbally. I admire my mom so much. And, I am sure you will admire her more if you know how much pain she had to bear just to keep our family in tact. Right now, based on how I understand myself, I don't think I can accept anyone's flaws easily. Maybe, I can but not the way how mom did it.
ReplyDelete