Empty hearts and voices talking

New Year, new beginning. I just hope this applies to everyone.

I have always been the apple of gossipmongers' eyes. All my life, even when I was still too naive, they've been giving me monikers, tagged me as this and that. It didn't hurt me as much than it is hurting me now. Maybe when you grow older you get to understand how you just want to live a life. Because, in fact, nobody helped you reach where you are now. So, who gives them the right to pull you down? It isn't fair. No, life is not unfair. People are.

"Everyone seems to have a clear idea of how other people should lead their lives, but none about his or her own."

People can really be such jerks with just words. I don't understand why they are taking pleasure in meddling on another person's business. Why should they care, in the first place? It is not anymore their concern if someone's straying. What? They care? Then why the hell are they spreading rumors in stead of confronting me? Is that even caring? Is that what they call "care"? If they did care for me then they should've hurled words to my face. I'd catch each word no matter how afflictive they might be.

"Better is open rebuke than hidden love."
- Proverbs 27:5

I am upset because they're taking away my right to live. If I do this they'd say something; if I don't do this, they'd say something. Just where the hell should I place myself? I am so sick and tired that people sort of manipulating my decisions. It's sick! And it's true that we shouldn't really care so much about what other people think. How can I not? When their judging eyes won't stop dissecting what could be wrong with me... Dean is right. Their life is dull so, they're messing with somebody else's life to make their's interesting. But goodness! Making your life interesting at the expense of another?! Damn! Maybe I am not the one needing a life. Maybe it's them. Yes, it's them!

Just what is it that they want from me? What else? I lived a very lonely life already. Do they think they can even make it worse? Like what I've said in my previous post, "nothing can hurt me as much anymore". Much has been said about me. More than they can imagine. But I am invincible. And I am still keeping my faith I can go through all this.

"They can say anything they want to say
Try to bring me down but I will not allow
anyone to succeed hanging clouds over me...

I have learned there's an inner peace I own
Something in my soul that they cannot possess
So I won't be afraid and darkness will fade...

They can say anything they want to say
Try to bring me down but I won't face the ground
I will rise steadily sailing out of their reach."

New year, I hope they'd find a new attitude, a new hobby, a new point of view. I hope they'd become better persons because what the world really needs are people who are pure. People who care for one another. Of course, no one is righteous, like what the Bible says. But let's just start the year right by minding our own business and not cause another's pain.