The La La Land

As an internet research specialist for barely a year now, I have already received a variety of questions ranging from the simplest (such as weather, directory assistance, etc.) to the tough ones (we call them general questions ex. "What is a word that is spelled the same way foward and backward?") but there’s this one question that many people never fail to ask everyday -- “What is the meaning life?"

Since, it’s everyday that we receive this kind of question, someone suggested that we send a standard answer:

"What is the meaning of life?" is probably the most-asked philosophical question by humanity at large, though we will probably never find the answer, for whatever reason. Common answers include: happiness or flourishing; love; compassion; pleasure; reproduction; power; knowledge, understanding, or wisdom; and being blessed, or achieving union with God or the divine; or simply that there is no meaning to life.”

Hmmm…So, this is how we answer the question. I am not joking. I didn’t really bother knowing the answer. Just like any other answers I sent that meant nothing to me. I didn’t bother reading. All along I thought this question is just one of the many silly questions being sent by equally silly persons who don’t have anything good and sensible to do with their lives. I got accustomed to just copying and pasting the answer.

Who could really answer “what is the meaning of life?” Not even the best philosophers we have can give a rather acceptable answer. Acceptable means everyone can understand and accept. Not just one, two or three people. That when we are told the answer to “what’s the meaning of life,” we’d say without hesitation, “yeah that’s exactly it!” 

I have heard and read a lot of answers from philosophers, from people I know who have their own definition of life, from bloggers like me, from pranksters, murderers and so goes the list. But none I had accepted as fact. I was hoping for a flat-out answer. A more explicit one.

If I thought this was a silly question then why am I writing about this now? Good question. A friend asked me to write about the topic. There’s something about the way he asked it. It seemed intriguing to me. There must be something about the meaning of life, then. 

Yeah, I think the answer to this question depends on one's condition. And I noticed that most people asking this question are those seeking for something in themselves. Those who are anxious to know what they want to become, what they want to do, why aren’t they moving forward. It’s a question of “why am I here for?” It is like, “I am here for 18 years and what? What have I accomplished? What have I done to make the world a more comfortable place?” If you analise the questions I stated, it only points to one direction – purpose. Like what are scissors for? 

We know that:

scissors are a tool used for cutting thin material which requires little force. They are used for cutting, for example, paper, cardboard, metal foil, thin plastic, food, cloth, rope and wire. They are also used for cutting hair and nails.

We know the purpose of almost everything we see around us. Except ours’. So, we ask.

Let us first stray some. What has life brought you so far? I am sure 80% of you would say trials, pain, heartaches and what have you. The remaining 20% would say blessings, comfort, joy, and the like. Those 80% are the people sending “the question” to us. (Thanks, you are helping with our answer times.) Why did I say this? Simple, because of their conditions. They may be in deep financial trouble, they may be between the devil and the deep blue sea, they may be in deep misfortune… think of sad experiences they may be experiencing at the present. Those situations can make one person think about what’s going wrong. Then, next are endless questions, which leads to “what is the meaning of life?” It’s as good as asking what my life is about?

 

I hate that I can’t make a point yet. It’s just so hard to pick the right words when my brain is processing so fast. Like a jet plane. Ideas rushing away from my consciousness and I haven’t even put them into words. Frustrating.

See? Situations like this can cause a person to ask the universal question. Well, ok. Depends on the strength of a person, of course. 

I remember something. A college friend, Amie informed me that our former classmate, who was somewhat close to us, killed herself with a gunshot. That happened mother’s day this year. 

Amie told me about this months ago. I didn’t want to believe the news but yeah, like what she rebutted, “who would spread such nasty rumor?” I am somewhat hoping that it could be just a nasty rumor. Maybe whoever started the empty talk was just steered wrong. Like that of our local celebrities. After a young actress announced her decision of going to the states and pursue college, tall-talks like “she’s pregnant”, “she’s eloping”, “she’s losing her career”…will reign over local newspapers. Poor young star. tsk tsk tsk

Yes. I am still rose-colored that it could be just one worse rumor. Or must I say I wish…? 

I had to mention her not for anything else but to give you all a perfect example of what I am trying to point out. 

After graduation most of us got jobs right off. I heard from Rina every now and then, all those times she told me she hadn’t landed a job still. Instinctively, I told her I’d help her find a job. I asked her to send her resume to my email, which she did. Each time I applied for job online, I attached her resume with mine. That’s the least I could do for her. I’ve had seven jobs in three months, on and off and more jobs after. When she phoned me two years later, she hadn’t landed a job still. As in none. Zero. I didn’t know she was already desperate, I didn’t know she was already upset. I didn’t know there was something she was trying to keep.

I phoned her one night while I was working out. She seemed ok. The same girl I knew. I mentioned to her my plan of resigning soon from my current company. The last thing she said was, "contact me if you have already resigned." 

July came and one sms message caused my eyes to become disk-shaped. “Rina just passed away.” What a shock, indeed. No joke. I couldn’t believe it. I had to ask again and again to validate the news. But, Amie herself didn’t know more than the detail she forwarded to me. 

It’s already August. Tuesday night Amie messaged me. She confirmed what Rina’s cause of death was – suicide. Turned out Rina was upset about her not landing any job.

I don’t know but I think she ended her life because the meaning of life to her is “to get a job”. Since she hadn't gotten herself a job she resolved to ending her life thinking her life is already good-for-nothing. Of course, I cannot be as accurate in speculating. But just by looking at the reason as to why she slayed herself, already made me realize how she understood life. How she understood her purpose. Because if she knew that there’s more to life than just getting a job then she shouldn't have risked her life for it. 

Similar suicide stories are on broadsheets and tabloids everyday. Though, not sharing the same reason, still, they ended their lives because the meaning they associated with life is what they believed life was. I guess all of us get to this stage when we are seeking for the very purpose we are here for. We want to know because it’s not easy to go on without knowing your destination. You ride a cab or any transportation. It drives on and on and on. It was pretty a great ride and you are enjoying it just looking around and humming and meeting people inside. But there’ll always come a point when one will get tired and bored with the same routine. This is where “being anxious in knowing one’s purpose” comes in.

Have I already reached this stage? Maybe some of you are asking. Yes. I was compelled to grow up too soon, which is why at a very early age I had been too conscious understanding which direction to take. Early on, I had been on deep thinking, trying to provide reasons for things. I had gone through the stage of uncertainty; there seemed to be no clear path for me. It took some time, fervent prayers, great faith. I didn't understand what life is about. I woke up everyday, went to school, did my school work...I finally received my diploma, found a job, went to work everyday. That was all about it. I copied just exactly how people went about their lives. Though, there was no conscious effort made, I finally understood what purpose I must serve in this world. How? I tried to look within me. What gift God gave me. That has been my guide since.

Sounds vague, yes. I know exactly how you're thinking because I also couldn't understand at first. As humans, we were given free will. That's our birth right. There are just so many influences around us so we plan this and that for ourselves. As small kids we dream of becoming successful doctors, lawyers, teachers, etc. As we grow up these ambitions change because of influences. Little by little we learn new about ourselves and our potentials so we switch the plans we set as kids and the plans set by our parents for us. There are just so many streets to choose. There are just so many talents yet to discover. We are too busy with planning or enjoying life that we forget to look within ourselves. To ask ourselves what we really want. What God wants for us. So many things we are just so amazed about, we want to try a lot of different things. We focus ourselves on meaningless things. We insist some things in our lives so we miss our turns. Some of us are obliged to reach somewhere at speed because situation calls for it.

What we don't understand is that there are things we must allow in our lives and things that we must ban from our lives. Because God has already set a special purpose for each one of us. The moment we act so stubborn and insist what we want, we could already be straying. So observe what you've been running after which you haven't caught even once yet. It may not be what God wants for you. It may not be for you. So, stop running and walk a bit slowly. Look within yourself. Understand the gift given to you. That is your life's purpose. That is the meaning of life.