In order to make a difference you would have to somehow be different.

Since I started doing day shift, I've been needing help keeping myself awake while at work. It's seriously tough since I'm nocturnal, and I still often end up working night shift. Disadvantage of having complete freedom! For quite some time, I've been struggling with uncontrolled sleepiness. Understandably. This leads me to find helpful ways to keep me up and on my toes. My eyes kind of like live on their own, though, and want to drop whenever they feel like.

Playing movies on one corner of my screen has been somewhat helpful. Movies are not my frequent choice, however. Podcasts of Bible preachers and Virtual Bible have been my top preference. But, there are times when even my brain wants to shut off which makes me not understand anything. At certain times, I need something more intense to shake me awake. These are times I'd go for action movies. Or anything suspense. Never horror! Only, they distract me and get me jumping out of my seat every time. My dogs would usually get startled as I scream out of nowhere. Can't imagine how I actually look like reacting to fighting scenes. I should get cctv, maybe, to see myself. Hahaha

Then, I stumbled upon this Christian film, "I'm Not Ashamed". I'd not seen new ones since there aren't many of them until yesterday. I wasn't getting the plot at first since I was focused on what I was doing. So, I had to play it again. Twas the second time that I started understanding what it was presenting. And I'd say it's meaningful. The flick isn't really laudable like the mainstream ones. It does portray realities of this world and of each individuals and the challenges they face, though.

So, it's a story of a Christian teen, Rachel Joy Scott, who went to Columbine High School where she struggled with her faith trying to live in two worlds. She later realized it isn't possible. Indeed, a believer can only serve one master. She had to make a bold and firm choice to live her life for Jesus. It's not been easy for her. And it will never be easy for all those who truly want to serve Christ. There will always be this pull from the world. Humans have this innate need for acknowledgement and for being seen and accepted. To belong somewhere. However, when one chooses Christ, they are to embrace the fact that "they will be hated by the world." They can't be friends of God and friends with the world at the same time. The Bible already stated this truth.

Rachel's life moved me. She allowed God to use her. She didn't completely understand what God's purpose was but she willingly gave her remaining life (she was the first victim of the Columbine High School massacre and went to meet her maker on April 20, 1999) in obedience to Jesus' teachings. She walked the talk. She gave no excuse to herself not to obey what Jesus commanded. Particularly, the subjects of forgiveness and compassion. Her life is truly moving. At such young age (17), and having stayed shortly on Earth, she was able to touch lives. It's been her aim and goal and she fulfilled it. Of course, not without the help of God, I'd say. All she had to do was to obey. To live in step with the Spirit.

Such a worthwhile reminder for me. I still find myself hankering for approval and recognition from time to time. There is still this need shouting from within, "notice me", "appreciate me", "acknowledge me". And so I can undeniably relate to the struggle Rachel faced. To stand up for Christ is not trouble-free. It leads a believer and follower to deep heartache and distress. Not only because people will shut them out and ostracize them, but because a believer also has to do the same to their own selves as Jesus commanded, "deny yourself" (Matthew 16:24-26). If one is to say that they're a disciple of Christ, then they are to constantly counter their impulses. When it's easier to dislike another, a believer and follower has to give the red light to their feeling. They're not anymore living as slaves to the flesh's natural urges (see Galatians 5:17-21). Love and compassion becomes their trademark and moves them to serve others, even those who are unlovable. Especially the unlovable.

Her story could probably be not as inspiring to most except to the lives she touched personally. Those who she moved with her compassion and sincere concern. The society calls what she did martyrdom. Who will still do the same? Who wants to be excluded? To be treated like a nobody? To be taken advantage of and not retaliate? Secretly disliked and mocked? No one except those who Jesus called to Him. People He chose to represent Him to shine His light into this dark world. The world defines such choice (as what Rachel chose) as martyrdom, the Bible defines it as radical love. Unconditional, sacrificial, and selfless love. First for the Lord, and next for the neighbors. Christianity isn't about showing the world that one reads the Bible and speaks loudly about God and Jesus. It is living Jesus' commandments and following His ways. It's a lifestyle of denying self in order to conform to the teachings of Jesus and the Apostles no matter how difficult it gets. Even if it requires them to set their own selves and desires aside. Even if it means being abandoned by the ones we care for and love. Even if it means to be hated by people. Even if it means being enemy of the world.

Through Rachel's example, I am reminded that success and fulfillment can't be attained by being known and popular; or by doing what we love and gaining from it; or by being appreciated and loved by many; or by having more stuff; or by understanding why everything happens the way they do…or by however this world defines success and fulfillment. Living for the purposes of God and how He designed each one is the only way to experience real success and fulfillment without feeling empty and off course eventually. Following the ways of Jesus (and not the world's) is the means to have a meaningful life that never leads to futility. It protects people from disillusionment and disgruntlement by trying to chase after things and whatever in order to be happy. Everywhere we look, we see faces whose lives find no satisfaction even though they already have more than the basics. Even they seem to have it all together. Indeed, godliness with contentment is great gain. And this is attainable only when one receives Christ's peace which transcends all understanding. When one comes to abandonment of self and own understanding to completely trust, depend, and rely solely on the Lord. 

We don't need to be heroes to make a difference and to influence many. Just with the way we live our lives in love and in the ways of God on a daily already is the influence we can begin with to start a ripple effect. Every person around us have needs we can meet if only we give attention and time. One act of kindness can lead to some lasting impact. Don't aim to reach hundreds and thousands. Just reach one lost soul and plant hope in their heart. Trust that each individual reached will pay it forward, thus, keeping the ball running. That's the the only difference Jesus wants us to model.

And I know that each time God brings reminder and enlightenment, He is realigning His child to His methods and plans. What a way to prepare me for the year to come! 

Sharing some of the lines I like from the film (mostly by Rachel). Check them out if you will!

A drug you don't know you're swallowing. Afterwards, you can't tell why you feel or think the way you do.

“No use complaining about the world's freest press 
―we fought for it, we got it, 
now we have to live with the nonsense 
that it spews out.” 

I have a list of topics (in a purple sticky note) I planned to write about since some time before July of this year. There were times I was compelled to type my thoughts out and publish them here, but nothing was compelling enough than after I've followed (not entirely) the Senate hearings earlier this afternoon where they tackled about "fake news". Twas another long-winding chatters mostly digressing from the main subject. Source persons were rather attacked and were schooled as if they're ignorant of the ways of politics and their professions (and apparently, this may not be everyone's general perspective. Just seen hate comments pointing at them on Twitter.). While I won't deny that the issue of freedom of speech (which means: the right to express any opinions without censorship or restraint) will really be called for―and I think it best that the council works to draw a line as to where it starts and ends (which may "restrict" FREEDOM)―I would rather just have the committee stick to the issue at hand. Then, perhaps, push with another discourse concerning the rest of arising sub-topics later on.

Evidently, everything has become about clashes between pro and anti-administration. Where will neutrality stand if this be the case? And this is, in fact, where the real issue of "fake news" stems from. Whoever publishes malicious reports have some agenda in mind. Because news are supposed to be PRESENTATION of ready and available facts with strict ACCURACY, and must not be colored with personal opinion, AT ALL. That's the line that divides a blogger from a news presenter. (It should also be taken into consideration the website source of the article in question, by the way.) Fake news can only be referred as such when a news presenter, along with its writers, producers, and staff put out an item that is not based on a given FACT. Anything that they add or subtract from their report can automatically qualify a write up as fake. It, then, is considered a fabricated story. While a blog is nothing but an avenue to express personal thoughts, opinion, ideas without requiring one (a blogger) to have all evidences necessary to validate their standpoint. And I agree to what Mr. RJ Nieto stated that there must be a legislative order to categorize or regulate any writing done on social media, the blogosphere, and other cyber spaces before free thinkers who post their thoughts can even be considered fake news producers. (There must be a law, then, that will require websites to register as news media sites so they will be regulated.)

The main stream media have this what everyone knows as journalism ethics and standards (code of ethics) they ought to follow. They have to be within the bounds of this code. The bloggers aren't considered under this code. No law to abide by for them, sorry to say. Now, anyone who deviates the topic from this irrefutable fact, and then insists on the issue concerning "freedom-of-speech-becoming-limited-when-one-holds-a-government-position", I can't emphasize enough how obviously they're trying to threaten the rights of individuals. This I firmly hold as a valuable principle: not because celebrities are public icons, they're already deprived of their life to live the way they want. They may have such huge influence to the public because they're being looked up to, they're still not anyone's ownership. No one has any right to make anyone conform to what they believe should be "the" way of life (only God has that say). Public figures are not accountable to the decisions of their supporters should the latter choose to have a tattoo or to undergo surgery (unless they convince them to, of course). Same thing as public officials. 

People gotta stop being stylists―they take the role of one that keeps on checking for smeared mascara under another's eyes...fashion someone the way that will satisfy their liking. We don't do that to each other. Live and let live ...because each one of us have the same birthright whether you're a congressman and I am JUST a simple person living like a hermit. If anyone thinks that one's expression or way of life harms another, then, I believe there's proper avenue to address that. 

“Popular culture is a place where pity is called compassion, flattery is called love, propaganda is called knowledge, tension is called peace, gossip is called news, and auto-tune is called singing.”

I personally hold in high regard the President more for the respect he gives to individual rights. He's been disrespected by his co-public servants who hold lower positions (called him names, accuse him of such and such.....) and he simply lets them be because he gives them that right―to express whatever grievances they might have. It could've been easy for him to abuse his power booting out people left and right (worse, erase them from the face of the Earth), and everyone who goes against him. He doesn't. Then, I'll hear some committee members speak manipulatively what bloggers should do or not do all because they say that Nieto and Uson are being paid with people's taxes? Like, the guts?! Nobody can, out of nowhere, by any means...just dictate what is acceptable thing to say, who can say what...!!! Isn't that undemocratic rule?! 

Like seriously?! What compelled me to write this is not to act as if my voice matters. I don't even have that much readers comparatively. But boy if I will be deprived of my right to let the steam out of my chest through this very medium, then I totally will be out of voice! How much more the rest of everyone whose views are only shared in a larger setting through social media?

Certain influencers make use of power and manipulation to destroy and to deceive...............

Imagine how the Marcos family lived their lives in silence. Never given the right to speak the truth out (YET the truth prevailed, anyhow). Nor they'd given themselves their rights to defend themselves. They suffered derision and awful condemnation. Been called names. Think how if you're in their shoes and wherever you go you're called a plunderer. If people decide for your reputation by attaching labels to your name. Isn't that injustice? Especially, considering that none of the 900 plus cases filed against them ever proved them guilty! It's worse than the fate of those who were killed in the streets for having been involved in drugs! Because everyday and everywhere people lambaste you. People murder you over and over and over with their sharp tongues. Verdict has been given without due process. You're deprived of vindication. People who don't even know your story will malign your whole being. And that's all because of FAKE NEWS. Twisted information.

"But the truth won't go away. It will keep surfacing until it is recognized. Truth will outlast any campaigns mounted against it, no matter how mighty, clever, or long. It is invincible."

At times, it's as if silence is the better weapon. Let alone wait whose will be the last laugh. However, when silence will be the sole weapon, then the rest of the next generations will live in lie. Because that'll be the only truth they'll know. Far too many have been living in hate. Hate for something they didn't even experience first hand. They carry feelings and ideas passed on to them. Empathy that is born of  deceit. They grow bitter for some twisted history and they settle with that. Yeah, it's their choice. It's always everyone's choice at the end of each day. Yet, even those choices they make are largely influenced by the lies that have been pushed down their systems. By who?!

Fake news damage society. Causes hate. Blurs sound judgment. Feeds poison. It collects a greater number of people to hate the same person or group of persons or ideology they hate. That's what it does. While expression of opinion helps us understand each other. Opens our minds that even the person closest to you may have an opinion disagreeing to yours. And that's just fine! But to present a report that's distorted in order to influence others to believe something to anyone's advantage, that's foul. If that's what news presenters want to do, then they better resign from their jobs and be bloggers where they have no responsibility to anyone. 

And if I may also add............

Mocha Uson may have a shoddy past. She's made countless unprincipled choices, yes. Did she deny it? Is she hiding skeletons in the closet? She's out. All out. Don't we rather want people who don't pretend to us? Does it not feel rather safe knowing what kind of person you're dealing with than believing someone is prim and proper and yet have the most evil inclination you can ever imagine? I mean, who am I to hurl judgment at anyone who's made bad choices many times in their lives? Who are WE to be too self-righteous to spit on her (or anyone's) face? Who are we to laugh at how she can't speak as intelligently as everyone in the assembly room? Who are we to bash like the person does not deserve respect? Don't we all fight for something, too? Can't we communicate our sentiments with discretion? How are we any different from her who we judge as amoral and behave beyond ethics ourselves?

I neither like nor dislike her. Because I don't know her. What I read and see on television and YouTube aren't enough basis for me to make judgment of the kind of person she is. And neither do my knowledge and judgement of her can be basis whether she "deserves" my respect or not. Though it is my prerogative if I give her respect or not. That won't even reflect who she is but who I am! And neither do anyone of her blog readers and critics have this advantage. If respect is earned, I wonder how many of us deserve it, if truth be told? If people can have a full view of all our activities within 24 hours the entire 365 days, can anyone truly deserve anyone's respect? If respect is earned, no wonder how hard the life of everyone who needs to keep pleasing both their spectators and detractors! Then who would still strive to earn it (given that you can NEVER please everyone)?

What I am sure of is that I am no different from her in that I am also flawed. All people are, no matter how they appear pious. Only some work harder at being good, perhaps. OR, that good in keeping skeletons inside the four corners of their homes! I don't also allow myself to look down on those I disagree with. The hearing only exhibits how we are all different. How we all have our own way of thinking. How we all behave a certain way in situations where we're caught off guard. Yet, we are after the same goal, aren't we? ―to find solutions to pressing matters. So let's deal with the issue without agenda. Hear and listen. Express without reviling. Keep the focus on the problem and assert within the frame of reference and quit crucifying whoever. We are no judges.

 

Can't help but ask why when Senators (like Mr. Trillanes, Mr. Pangilinan and Ms. de Lima...) speak their minds out no matter how disparaging it's just excusable. Freedom of speech/expression warrants them to express whatever they wish. While everyone else must be regulated. How come not all have the same privilege?

Mr. Nieto is someone whose name I heard only today. He speaks his mind. He is as vocal and blunt as the three senators I mentioned. He answered questions with all frankness. Now, he is being bashed. I salute him for being honest-to-goodness. I wish I can say the same for Mr. Trillanes because his courage deserves applause. Even so, that courage is undeniably sketchy. Saying with conviction that someone is "innocent" even that person has already been detained, meaning has been proven guilty (at least went through due process)...while the one not proven guilty of any of his accusations (except in his head he believes so)..........uh...I don't know...

Anyway, they all have their own shares of knockers. Guess it's the price to pay when you have your name in lights. 

 “It all starts with suppression of a few freedoms and before you know it, you can't speak without permission from the authorities. And then finally you wake up and you know what? It is too late.”

Recognize blessings ― find beauty in the camouflage, humor in tragedy, and love in the midst of strife

“May we be strengthened with the understanding that being blessed does not mean 

that we shall always be spared all the disappointments and difficulties of life.” 

Heber J. Grant

Blessing. What does it mean, really? For most people, anything can only be called a blessing when it's of benefit to them. When it brings them happiness and pleasant feeling. Something that makes them smile. Something that they've always wanted to have in their life and suddenly it's granted. But then, usually it ceases to be a blessing when it entails with it difficulties later on or when it becomes to them nettlesome. The way people define blessing is in accordance to how something satiates them. What they, at one time, consider a blessing can eventually turn into something they resent almost instantaneously. A job they were once deeply thankful for (or even considered an answered prayer). A friend who they thought understands their innermost thoughts and feelings. An object they couldn't drop during the first few days twas given to them. Just to name a few. They're all considered blessings until something goes wrong. Until those things cease to keep them satisfied.

This is the reason why it's hard for people to be grateful. They can easily find reasons to be dissatisfied. Almost anything can affect their view of something. And it all comes down to FEELINGS. The way they take things, situations, or even humans is totally influenced by how things (or people) are keeping them pleased. Can't tell for certain (JUST YET...allow me to think more...) whether it's feelings that cause ungratefulness or it's the other way around. Are people unhappy because they aren't grateful... or ...they are ungrateful because they can't be happy"?

In most cases, the latter "seems" to be the more appropriate answer. Well, if I am to consider my topic, then it could, indeed, be the culprit. Because people base everything on whether it benefits them or not and that's the only time they can be grateful. But only until such time. Only until they lost the very reason why they are grateful. Then, something's not anymore a blessing to enjoy. Eventually, they start to complain, to say nasty things, to be upset...to figure out how to discard from their life what was once a blessing. A sad scenario.

But if you come to think of it, a grateful heart will never stop finding reasons to be grateful. To find benefit from anything. To find beauty in all things whether it be good or bad. A grateful person will always see good in even the most inconvenient situation, in a despicable person, in a frustrating object. Now, I can, without doubt, say it all boils down to ATTITUDE. It is ungratefulness that causes unhappiness. When a person feels entitled, then there is no room for appreciating whatever. Nothing can ever be a blessing.

The world's definition of blessing is anything favorable. Anything gratifying. It feeds the ego. The self. One definition I found is this..........

"a beneficial thing for which one is grateful; something that brings well-being."

I guess that's why there's this thing called BLESSING IN DISGUISE. Because a thing, a situation, a person cannot be considered a blessing when it's not advantageous (to them). When we hear the word BLESSING, it has a tone of something desirable and delightful. The world (the majority) often dictates how to define a thing. And it's based on how something serves the SELF. What they don't see are the blessings that come with brokenness and tears. The strength that gets developed in one's character through unpleasant situations. The spiritual fruit that grows in each individual when they go through storms. There are blessings even in the worst circumstance. Just people need spiritual eyes to see them.

There are so many people living discontent and disconsolate because they want things to serve them well. They depend on whatever outside of themselves for pleasure. Not knowing that when they have peace within, when the attitude of their heart is right, they can live in gratitude, which then will usher them to a life of boundless joy. 

Someone who became an inspiration to me (who I met only start of this year) once said this, "it is not the place that will adjust to us, it is us who will adjust to the place." Am not really a whiner. But there are things I cannot tolerate. One (of the few ok, ok, "untold") is small spaces. End of the last month (April), I helped two of my friends move in to their new room. When I saw the area, I wasn't able to hold myself and said remarks that had a tone of gripe. To which this friend answered "the line". Tamed me. And I simply conceded. True and wise. We (come on, admit it it's not just me) often yield to pointing at the unappealing and then bellyache. Because we want things to suit us to our comfort. We use things for our gratification. Then dump them when to us they become a millstone around our necks. Sadly, we do that even in our relationships. 

In this generation where we are offered umpteen things to get a thrill out of, it's harder to be satisfied. Things can easily be ditched. Or we end up hoarding things because once we lost our amusement in one thing, we turn to a new one. There is almost nothing that we keep anymore only because there will always be something new. New gadget, new trend, new opportunities, new set of people................... name it. The NEW becomes something we use to compare to what we already have, which we cannot anymore value all because they don't serve us the way we want. At least, not anymore. They once did, but heck everything has become replaceable! 

But, let's not forget that everything is a blessing. Because regardless of how we say we earned what are in our possession, the truth remains, we own nothing and everything is just grace from God. We deserve none. And the more we don't deserve a thing because we barely even maintain the value of anything given to us. Just listen to your prayers. To your words. Do you say thank you more than you grouse? Do you see the beauty in all things? Or do you more often highlight what's wrong around? 

In the book of Jeremiah, the writer describes a blessed man and compared it to a tree planted by the stream......

“But blessed is the one who trusts in the Lord,
whose confidence is in Him.
They will be like a tree planted by the water
that sends out its roots by the stream.
It does not fear when heat comes;
its leaves are always green.
It has no worries in a year of drought
and never fails to bear fruit.”

It's interesting to note that a man remains blessed even under the scorching heat of the sun and even in the season of drought BECAUSE he trusts the Lord. He, in fact, flourishes and remains fruitful. A man doesn't need to rely on what could be a blessing to be blessed. He doesn't need anything outside of himself to feel blessed. He is blessed simply by What or Who he already have in his life (IF he truly have Him in his life)―God.

Here's more......

“Blessed is the man who perseveres under trial, 

because when he has stood the test, 

he will receive the crown of life 

that God has promised to those who love Him.”

James 1:12

Evidently, the way we tend to think of blessings is far different from how we ought to in God's perspective. We commonly think of blessings (only) in the form of good health, financial wealth, fun friends, travel, promotion, incentives..........and other such tangible things. Rarely (almost not) do we associate trials as a blessing. But God blesses people with Him. And through Him they receive every kind of blessings that can never be taken away by anyone or anything in this world. Blessings in which the reward does not end when the world fades away. The material or worldly blessings we luxuriate in are temporary while the spiritual blessings made available to us by God through Jesus Christ encompass both material and immaterial things, not to mention time and eternity.

If you ask me, I've not yet come to a point when I can say EVERYTHING is a blessing. But, am working on my consciousness to have my spiritual eyes always open to see the blessing in all things that come my way because surely, God allows things to happen for the good. That includes the things I whimper about. *sticks out tongue*

 ".....when troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow. So let it grow, for when your endurance is fully developed, you will be perfect and complete, needing nothing." [James 1:2]

One last addition....the word BLESSING, was translated from two Greek words and one word is Makarios which means happiness. ^_^ ...so, Blessings be yours, people!

“Our real blessings often appear to us in the shape of pains, losses and disappointments; 

but let us have patience and we soon shall see them 

in proper figures.”
 

Joseph Addison

Love me for my flaws, fine. But never dare allow them to hurt you.

“People use the word 'love' a lot of different ways. Take me, for instance. I am often heard saying that I love my mom and dad. I am also often heard saying that I love pizza. 

What am I saying when I say I love my mom and dad? I'm saying that I care about them. I'm saying that I love spending time with them and that I talk to them every chance I get. I'm saying that if they needed me, I would do every humanly possible to help them. I'm saying that I always want what's best for them. 

What am I saying when I say I love pizza? Am I saying that I care deeply about pizza? Am I saying that I have a relationship with pizza? Am I saying that if pizza had a problem, I would be there for the pizza? (What? Not enough pepperoni? I'll be right there!) 

Of course not. When I say I love pizza, I'm just saying that I enjoy eating pizza until I don't want any more pizza. Once I'm tired of the pizza, I don't care what happens to the rest of it. I'll throw it away. I'll feed it to the dog. I'll stick it in the back of the refrigerator until it gets all green and moldy. It doesn't matter to me anymore. 

These are two very different definition of the word 'love'. 

It gets confusing when people start talking about love, and especially about loving you. Which way do these people love you? Do they want what is best for you, or do they just want you around because it is good for them, and they don't really care what happens to you? 

Next time someone looks deeply into your eyes and says 'I love you', look very deeply right back and say, 'Would that be pizza love, or the real thing?'” 

~ Mary Beth Bonacci ~

Because of the endless ways people describe love ―  based on how they give it, or how they want to receive it ― there is no more one standard to distinguish real one from something that simply feeds a need. And each person has countless undefined needs longing to be met. So many end up taking whatever satisfies what current need one feels should be attended first. Then, this becomes their definition of love. "I need appreciation." "I need attention." "I need this and that and that and that...."  and the list of needs goes on...........

There is certainly nothing wrong asking for our needs to be attended. But, once it becomes our basis for weighing whether we are being loved or not, then we selfishly control how a person should express or give love. We end up implementing unspoken rules which when not met, become what we use against the person in subject. It would be fair to simply say, long as no deliberate wrong is done to me, then the love of the person is not to be questioned. Bottom line is, not one person fully understands how God wants love to be demonstrated. That's all. We base it on whether we are gratified or dismayed. Unreliable scale.


There is this idea put into a book called, "The Five Love Languages".  The intention of the author (from my perspective, sure you have your own, too) is to help couples understand their own love language against their partners'. This way, they can understand how the other person wishes to be loved and their own expression of love. What problem I found is when we use this as a gauge whether the other is exerting effort to love us in the way we wanted to be loved. When we start imposing on another how we want to be loved. It's totally opposite what the Bible teaches, "love does not insist its own way" (1 Corinthians 13:5).  The Bible only tells us to be selfless. How "it is much better to give than to receive."  Because Jesus didn't face the sufferings looking at us and asking Himself whether He should continue going through such suffering since people didn't look like they're gonna love Him in the way He wants (even deserves).  But, it's certainly of a huge benefit if we use the book to just remind ourselves that our loved ones love differently than we do. Go ahead and learn, just never impose.

I still hold that love is a decision. A decision of the one loving. Whether they get the love they want back or not, they choose to love regardless. One question we all should ask ourselves before even entering a relationship is if we are willing to give love in spite whatever we might not appreciate about and receive from our love objects. We can't go on blurting out the words, "I love you" without understanding what are its implications or meaning. I came to understand that the reason we all keep on getting disappointed is not that our loved ones don't really love us. It's more of, we just don't accept the way they are loving us, which differ from one person to another. We have a picture in mind of what love should be.

Of course, there are people who love in a damaging way. I won't deny this. And this is the very reason why a great number of people are broken. These people love in a harmful way because they are not really loving but investing. They're giving, and so they are imposing returns. Worse, they foist what could gratify them, not anymore considering the welfare of the other. They think because they're feeling deeply for another, it's love. When it could only actually be nothing but INFATUATION. A strong one. And this is where the decision comes in. Are we going to continue loving a person and commit to understanding them, though we are hurting? Such is what is called, UNCONDITIONAL LOVE.

While unconditional love is something that comes out naturally ― there is no need for internal deliberation whether you'll continue loving or not ― there still will come a point when a decision has to be made against the loved object for the sake of harmony and peace (especially inner peace) when they are being destructive. Because none of us deserves to suffer a kind of cruelty done by a self-seeking person. It will be so draining. We can always love from a distance. A relationship should be beneficial to both parties. It's looking after each other's welfare and promoting each one's. Of all the SIGNS we must look for, it is whether the relationship is making us better individuals or destroying us. This is the measure we should be using. Selfish? No. Because we are to be cultivators of one another. And if we are broken, then we will keep breaking each other. As they say, "hurt people hurt people."   

As love is a decision, it is solely our obligation to ourselves whether we are gonna choose to love anyone or set them free.....instead of making them liable to our own decision. We must never tell anyone "I did this and that for you so ..." Well, not everyone really says this (verbally) but from their acts it's what they're really communicating. We should give people the freedom to either return the love the way they love or simply refuse the offer. And not try to fashion anyone according to our liking just because we want them, but not completely.......when we like only parts of them. We can't try and make anyone fit into our mold. If we love a certain way, we can't expect the same from another. Let them be who and how they are. That is one way of loving selflessly.


It saves us exhaustive emotional drain if we simply put the responsibility on our own selves whether to subject ourselves to a kind of suffering or reject it. Not a wise thing to keep someone and do blame game later on. There is no need to keep a person like an object because we feel deeply for them. We can love them all we want without owning them, but we must not say we love them and at the same time resent who they are. That's so irreconcilable.

“People like to say love is unconditional, but it's not. And even if it was unconditional, it's still never free. There's always an expectation attached. They always want something in return. Like they want you to be happy or whatever and that makes you automatically responsible for their happiness because they won't be happy unless you are ... I just don't want that responsibility.”

~  Katja Millay ~

Enough of my musing.... 

I don't act my age... I act my personality.

“Age is not specified by years, but how you feel. Right now, I am 99 years old.”  

~ Unknown ~

 

So it's Wednesday and introversion goes on. Since I've been insisting to live a normal life of an ex-nocturnal, I make an everyday attempt to be awake in the day time (as much as possible, get up early in the morning, NOT noon or past noon!) and sleep at night. There had been improvements during the first few weeks, but I guess am simply consistent at being inconsistent when it comes to certain things. I am generally not into routines and I wish life allows that. You know, when you don't need to follow agenda and just be spontaneous EVERY SINGLE DAY. Yet, introversion is another battle...

Third day of the fifth month of this year, am still struggling to keep up to my goal being a day person. Summer is not the best time to do this. I can feel my body resist every time. Drains me. And I can think of all sortsa ways to keep me alive and interested, but I'd end up JUST awake!

 

Frustrating! And, of course, there is no excuse for being unproductive just because one is a night owl. Believe me, inside, I wanna do a lot. Just my body won't cooperate! Is it even  my body or it's my brain also too lethargic to give commands?! Urgh! Seriously fighting this and if anyone has any suggestions that could truly help, do share them, I beg!    And, please note COFFEE isn't ANYMORE helping!

In my melee with whatever you call this state, I grabbed my mobile phone and found this interesting bit of information, which am sure real enthusiasts already know (or not). It's this Korean Age thingie, which actually is a concept from China and is widely known as East Asian Age Reckoning. Am not really a fan of Korean stars, nor their drama series, nor their products...but I won't deny that I did enjoy watching a few of their shows. Just not like I did the Taiwanese television series I've recently followed, Fall in Love with Me, though. 

I so like the actress, ❤❤❤❤❤ Tia Lee, (also Tia Li Yu Fen, Keiko, Li Xin Le)  ❤❤❤❤❤ who played Tao Le Si (Thea Tao). She is not only good in acting, she also sings and models. She's a member of the girl group, Dream Girls. (And I just followed her on Instagram! She'll be celebrating her birthday on the 11th of this month! ...just found out from a quick research.)

Photo credit to Chinesemov.com

 

Anyway, sorry for the segue. Going back to Korean Age topic (which is the reason why am writing this)...so, I seen this video c/o QZ...(go search them on Facebook if you have an account. They post share-worthy stories.) I've downloaded the video to my computer and uploaded it here so I can share it without trouble... 

It's interesting, and at the same time, it made me think why should there be additional something to remember? I mean, there is just one time in a person's life that they are born. And that's the commonly known and standard basis for age. But, there is something like this!!!  Anyway, it's what it is...........

If you plan to fly to and visit Korea, this may be something you need to know. So, I also searched for Korean Age Calculator. Thanks to the boundless reach of www. So if you've already booked a flight to Korea, or still planning to visit,  might as well calculate your Korean age and be prepared if any local will ask. *wink*

Mine? Figures are not a topic I'd ever entertain so, don't even bother asking. :P Toodle-oo!

“You see, I don't think age matters so much as people think. Parts of me are still 12 and I think other parts were already 50 when I was 12….”

 ~ C.S. Lewis ~