You gotta prepare for the life that you want.

This is going to be my last day being a nocturnal. 5:23 am. Just 37 minutes to go and I will say goodbye to my nocturnal peeps. No plans for today...soo far. Tomorrow, I will be back to my old routine (sleep around 4am and wake up around 8 to 11am). I wish to sleep like Sleeping Beauty. Sleep for a hundred years but please please just not awakened by a kiss. I fervently wish to be awakened by a good news that troubles and sadness are far gone away.

You are right, Lila. There will always be times that just when you need someone badly, they can't be there for you as you expect them to be. But not because they chose to ignore you. Certain things are just beyond our control. These times are times when we are given the chance to be strong for ourselves. Let's just take it as is. Learn and understand the meaning of poise under pressure. There is not much room for the fragiles.

This is really not one of my good days, yes. But I definitely learned so much. It's not easy to try and be positive all the time but, maybe, tomorrow has something better to offer. At least this is something to look forward to, right?

5:59 am and counting. Will have to sign off. Bye!

Aren't you tired of pretending to be something you're not?

Am not the type of person who would go beyond the reason behind someone else's acts. In fact, I just take people for what they are showing me. Thing with this, though, some people can be scheming. There is no way you can tell when they're doing it. They themselves won't admit that they do have something else in mind than plainly asking.

I maybe getting you lost now. Don't worry... You will know what I am trying to point out in a little while.

Last December, I met a new friend. She was the first one to befriend me. Made me wonder, "why?" but let's just say, I rather just ignored the question. Besides, there's nothing wrong if I take her friendship offer. Who knows it could get somewhere.

I can't clearly remember how it all started. How many times did we exchange ym messages... But what I do remember's the fact that she tried making me feel really comfortable with her. I must admit, though, I did. Dunno if I should regret it now or what. But, what happened was what happened. She could be the accomplice to a rumor spreading around the workplace. Really, I don't mind anymore. The truth will always be the truth. Maybe that's not they're really expecting to find out. So, it's up to them. I mean, I just don't understand why the hell do they care?! For goodness sakes!

I don't want to start ranting again. Well, it's the first thing that came into my head so... Well, I better just drop the matter, then.

This is going to be second to the last day of my being a nocturnal. The coming week is another start. Should I say, re-start?! Yes, I will be back to my old schedule. Dunno if it's a positive or negative thing but, I will just have to wait and see.

I changed the look of my blogsite. Of course, you did notice. I mean, those who have been visiting my green room (which is not anyway Green) for some time now. By the way, why Green Room? Many have already asked me this question. Will tell you what this term means. "Green Room" is a waiting room or lounge for the use of performers when they are offstage. This site is my lounge. I am the performer in the big stage of life. Got it? *wink* Nuf said.

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Oops, wait! Can't click on the publish button yet. I really have to include this part...

My conversation with GPTBF (girl pretending to be a friend)...

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GPTBF: can i ask you..are we friends???

~paper tiger~ : how can I tell?

GPTBF: yeah, right... you already answered me

~paper tiger~: dunno really...anyone can be a friend...but how real...that's the big question
~paper tiger~: had been severely judged by people
~paper tiger~: even by those who I thought were real friends
~paper tiger~: it's hard to define friendship nowadays

GPTBF: yeah, for me this is much better..i can say this frankly and so are you to me without being hurt.

GPTBF: i didnt hurt your feelings,did i??

~paper tiger~: I wasn't a bit hurt..all the while...been hearing rumors...
~paper tiger~: what else could hurt me more?

GPTBF: yeah

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