Let lemons be lemons.

“As you go about your daily life, you will encounter many lemons. Sour expressions, sour attitudes, sour auras! The good thing is that if you don't want to be a lemon, you don't have to be! Just don't let those lemons rub themselves all over you! And you don't even have to save them!” ―  C. JoyBell C.

Am reminded of this person who commented on one of my FaceBook wall posts. He was boldly insisting that it's impossible for people to love unconditionally because only GOD can do that. He strongly believes that NO ONE can love like how God loves. Well, that's his. I respect his belief. On my end, however, I have strong belief that it is possible because like what the Word says, "everything is possible to those who believe"... and "we can do all things through Christ Who gives us strength". From these verses, loving unconditionally is possible BUT requires a lotta faith. NOT on self but on God's grace.

I see the point of this person, actually. It's hard to love. At least, it's hard to go on loving. It seems to get tougher and tougher as you get to know and understand the nature of every single person you're in a relationship with. And am not talking about romantic relationship. This is about "relationship" in and of itself. Fact is, most of the time, the hardest to love are the people closest to you. Maybe because they don't see the need to be gentle, or kind, or nice, or polite... They think everything can be just ok. You've grown too familiar. They think they know you enough because of the long-standing togetherness. There's so many factors, actually, and one is LABELING.

Often, we THINK we KNOW, but we really don't. So many times, we readily assume how a person's like just because we've been with them, experienced them, spent time with them. And this is true even within family. Each one has their own perception of another person or a situation. It's not always that the truth of one agrees with the truth of another. And these two don't necessarily match the real truth. There can even be another truth from another's eyes, if you come to think of it. But from this springs disharmony in many cases. There are so many truths that come forward, which only cause confusion. Whose voice is worth listening to? Is this even the deciding factor?

What am I saying? I don't know, too. I'm smack dab in the middle. I strive to have unconditional love, but it makes it hard for me to love when around certain people who don't even choose to give even an itsy-bity love. Or at least make themselves a lil easier to love. Which makes me remember what the person I mentioned earlier said in his comment...it is IMPOSSIBLE to love unconditionally. For how can you really say you're loving unconditionally if everyone around you is willing to love back ...or is loving you back? Meaning they'll not make you walk on eggs doing so. This makes me realize that what hinders people from loving this way is the want... the need... the longing... the desire to be loved. Everyone is after receiving. And even those who are full of love and are generous in giving love also want, need, long and desire love and everything else that comes with it ― appreciation, understanding, encouragement... just to name a few ― but, like what they say, the one who loves more often receives less. 

I mentioned labeling because most of the time, we automatically attach a label or a tag on people. Of course, there's always a basis...and they're usually valid. Then, we live believing these tags forgetting there's also a word "progress". When you're being judged, criticized, condemned... loving becomes a can of worms. Countless times I've been harsh with a few number of people. Made assumptions as to who they really are. Lived believing I know much about them. And countless times, I've been treated harshly by umpteen number of people. Was assumed to be the person they created in their minds ...and they believe they really know me enough to define me.

Being in both sides cyclically, I grow more in compassion. Am not gonna deny that there are many times I simply just wanna stop my aim to have unconditional love and just accept that yeah, maybe it's only God Who really can. Truth is, I am convinced that it could only be a vain attempt. I'd bruise and wound myself doing so...for what?!!! And then I'd be reminded of Colossians 3:23..."in whatever you do, do it as if you're doing it for God and not for men."  This doesn't necessarily make it easier, but it turns my focus where it should really be.

For me what makes unconditional love obtainable is not being in the right set of people. Not surrounding myself with lovable individuals and discard the rest. It is by looking at how loved I am by God, my Creator. The Creator of ALL human race. Am sure He didn't make a mistake having created the despicable ones ― the haters, the bullies, the judgmental, the gossips, etc. I constantly remind myself that if I love God, I should have love and respect for all people because they're all HIS creations. I can't and shouldn't allow myself detest anyone because it's also detesting God's grand plan. For whatever reason certain people are the way they are is not anymore my problem. It's God's. Complaining about or resenting them is telling God He did a huge mistake. What about me? If I am to intently look at myself, I must say HE did make a mammoth! I must firstly look at how faulty I am before I bellyache about how so many people are undeserving of love. I am humbled because apart from God, I am nothing. I don't take credit for the untold good I did. Am just like everyone else ― flawed. And, jumping down anyone's throat is practically saying I'm in the clear or at least, relatively...when that only makes me self-righteous.

Self-righteousness is telling yourself you're far better than others because you've done more good and less evil than most people you know. There's a basis for comparison and it's the sins of others against your own. Only, this isn't God's basis. God's thoughts and ways are simply a far cry from ours. Like night and day. And if I may take credit for the zillion good I did in my lifetime, I could probably have more rewards than others. But, of course, still nothing that squares with what the likes of Mother Teresa had done. Simply put, I ...and all of us must have a proper estimation of ourselves.

Loving unconditionally and having compassion for others aren't farfetched. But, require humility and an honest estimation of self. Whenever I find it hard to love anyone because of a blemish...mostly attitude / behavior problem... sins... I look at my own grubbiness. It's only when you have an honest assessment of who you really are apart from God that you'll start having the compassion of Jesus. Then, you'll start seeing all God's creations through His Eyes. By looking at myself and acknowledging how hopeless I am yet still trying to be an inch better by the day... I can assume that people, too, are in my same boat. Just with different challenges and struggles.

“Christians must treat their enemies as 
brothers, and requite their hostility with love.
Their behavior must be determined not by the
way others treat them, but by the treatment
they receive from God.”

― The Cost of Discipleship