Why is't so hard to be happy? It's because we refuse to let go of the things that make us sad.

When we try to be in control, there's always a sure chance of disappointment. Most of the time, we try hard to believe in something. Something that is wonderful to embrace. When it doesn't happen as we believed it would, our expectations fail us and pain comes after.

It's never easy to entrust all to GOD. This is one thing I am struggling with. Mainly because I have trusted too much not in HIM but in people. Well, people... they say sooo many things. Either half-meant or they don't really mean at all. One of the things people do is hide behind lies. Some say, they do this to avoid hurting someone. What they don't know is they hurt others more by denying them the truth.

Sad truth is, people keep changing their minds almost instantly. They say things but they can't be true to their words. They won't even CHOOSE to be true to their words. They say something but do another. Many say something they strongly feel for the moment. They are driven by their emotions. But, emotions are fleeting. It's frustrating. But, just like me, I know there are many others who still rather believe these lies. Convinced that everyone deserves benefit of the doubt. So, we risk our hearts. We place our faith in the wrong persons...in the wrong things. Believing that this can lead to happiness. But, in truth, it hurts.

Yet, another painful truth is the person we placed our faith in to just doesn't care how we would feel when they can't keep up with their words. Go on with their lives as if our feelings don't matter. Conveniently, they can just escape with "sorry", but, are ready to do it again only because they know we'll just be there. Such a bitter reality.

Am sure, this is not only my own experience. Many out there suffer the same sitch for the reason that they "believe" someone. They trust. No matter how the other person screws up, they are ready to give another chance.

Sometimes, I get to think whether this is wrong or right. Because it's damaging. It messes our thoughts and feelings. It creates fear. Fear that if we believe again, we might get hurt again. Fear that if we don't, we give an impression that we can't trust and this simply doesn't sound right. The dilemma that if we trust, we're sure to hurt ourselves. If we don't, we're sure to hurt the person we love. It's crazy.

And I know of people who choose to trust lies and deny themselves the truth. They choose to believe what they want to believe, though, they know it's a lie. They'd even avoid knowing or hearing the truth in order to keep the lies. Trying to revel in something that will only cause them pain. What joy is there in living in lies? Being lied to is the worst way one can ever disrespect you. It's like they're telling you you deserve no truth. Maybe... but who deserves a lie?

I wish that saving our hearts from pain can be taught in school. That common sense can influence us stronger than our emotions can. Because our emotions steal from us our happiness. We want to be happy with someone we truly deserve but we're stuck with our feelings for someone who don't even sincerely care about us. All they're concerned about is the convenience and benefits they're receiving. Such a dangerous condition to be in.

'Do not expect anything', that's what they say. Am trying to believe that it is expecting that's causing all the pain. Maybe. On the second thought, is expecting that someone just do his part to not tell a lie and spare you of pain too much to give? Fine, we have to do our part to simply give love. But, are they not expected to do their part to be kind, too?

I'd like to just be numb about things and pretend none of what I observed is true. I'd like to convince myself that not asking too much question and not asking for what one deserves could make everything fine. I'd like to just believe in only ONE. To place my trust on only HIM and be oblivious to all others because it's damn too painful. It's hard to breathe. It's exhausting. Am stripped off strength.

If I'd try seeing things like characters in stories, maybe, it's easier to explain why things happen the way they do. There has to be good characters and there has to be bad characters. Otherwise, life will simply just be boring. No thrill. No issues. No arguments. There are no more stories to tell. There are no blogs like this to share.