If we all desire love and acceptance, shouldn't we love and accept all others?

I don't mean to make a comeback with a rant.  It's been months that I left this blog unattended.  But, isn't it nice there are things in life which you can keep coming back to without feeling guilty you abandoned it for a while? Things that will never blame you for making decisions that aren't favorable to all but only to yourself. That's what you call freedom isn't it?  Coming to a decision and not seem like walking on egg shell...carefully considering if your every move will come out acceptable for everyone.  Such a chore to live chained to others' approval!  Overly concerned whether people will be pleased or disappointed.


I often hear people say "magpakatotoo ka" (reveal who you truly are).  Dunno if my translation is what the line really means but it's how I understand it.  And this is my way of defining it.  But, does it matter what my view is?  People  will have different understanding, anyway.  Those who like me will either agree or simply respect my point of view.  Those who have nothing but hidden dislike (or worse hatred) will only disprove.  After all, that's the irony really.  You show your true colors or not don't matter much as how others perceive you.  In the end, it's their opinion they will follow.


People are complicated that way.  You act a certain way, they judge you being phony.  You act another, you're pretentious. You show transparency...you show all that you  really are--how you think, how you feel, how you behave, how you deal with situations--they can easily throw criticisms at you.  They throw their opinion like it's the only valid thing in the world...they want you to conform to how they THINK or BELIEVE you should be.  That's a prison house they turn your life into if you're gonna live trying to gain their approval.  Can't we just let people be, seriously?


Wondering how come those people who love throwing "the line" (get real) never realized why everyone's afraid of showing their true colors.  We lie to each other, we pretend, we put our best foot forward, we are all fake ...because the moment we become unguarded and start showing people our reality, they tell us how wrong we are.  Many won't just respect you for you.  They will complain that you aren't what they expect you to be.  They won't like you.  Won't even CHOOSE to.  Who doesn't want to be liked?  So...there's no choice left but to show a facade which we think can be generally acceptable.  Still that's never enough.  Nothing will satisfy a person who has very critical eyes and wants to please only him/herself!  How can anyone except myself tell whether I am being fake or real?  Do they know what's in my innermost thoughts and feelings?  There are even times I can't understand myself.  What gives anyone the right to judge my sincerity?  Who gives anyone the right to judge another's intents?  Isn't it the Holy Spirit's job to "search the heart"?  (Romans 8:27)


And when I show ME...my idiosyncrasies...everything that I am...I am bashed, questioned and disliked.  Isn't this such an unhealthy practice? We indirectly manipulate people by treating them with bias because we define them based on some standard we have in mind. They have flaws, limitations, weaknesses, mistakes and what-have-you (we all do!) and we see those imperfections with judgment in mind because we THINK it's so wrong.  If there's so many wrongs (imperfections) in each person because they're all unique in their own way, and we harshly deal with them...complain how ugly their behavior and attitude are...why should we even dare them to "get real"?  Let's just all be happy and content with what facade they show, then!  After all, we can't like their truth.  So let's not challenge each other to be REAL if we can't accept them for who and how they are as individuals.


Regardless of our view of anyone, it's highly important that we respect people. Whether their attitude is making us happy or not...whether their behavior is acceptable for us or not...our only contribution to their humanity is to take them as they are and love them.  In our rooms...in the confinement of our homes, isn't it ACCEPTANCE that we all long for?  "I am imperfect but I got good traits, too." Aren't we all hearing ourselves crying for acceptance because we can't be anyone else but our own skins?  We aren't supposed to make people dislike the persons that they are.  Why are there so many lonely people?  People who are depressed because they have to hide inside themselves in fear they won't deserve love?


And am so sad to know how many people who claim to be followers of Christ are so hard on others whose challenges are something they don't understand.  Am hurt as a Christian when too many say how it's people you find active in Church that treat others with judgment.  If there's anything I can say about such kind of person claiming to be a "disciple"... Well, the Word says, "the tree will be known by its fruit." Jesus highly emphasized to not judge.  It's not anyone's job to judge.  Jesus even said, "people will know that you are My disciples IF you love one another."  In another part of the Bible He said, "love one another as I have loved you."  He came not to condemn the world but to save it.  So if anyone claims to be a disciple, (s)he must do as what the Teacher did.  He saves.  We must save everyone in error by loving NOT by judging.  We must see with the Eyes of God and feel with His heart.


...saying all these...hafta guard my heart and be cautious not to do the same.  God help me to live in love and live humbly, too. I rather be thought a fool because I keep my mouth shut than be considered intelligent only because I advertise my opinion on how others should live their lives as if my life is perfect and all my choices are right.

We aren’t doing ourselves any favor by defining ourselves as good and others as bad.

Since you died, as it were, with Christ and this has set you free from following the world’s ideas of how to be saved—by doing good and obeying various rules—why do you keep right on following them anyway, still bound by such rules as not eating, tasting, or even touching certain foods?  Such rules are mere human teachings, for food was made to be eaten and used up. These rules may seem good, for rules of this kind require strong devotion and are humiliating and hard on the body, but they have no effect when it comes to conquering a person’s evil thoughts and desires. They only make him proud.  ― Colossians 2:20-23, TLB

I want to stretch the very point of the passage. There have been many MAN-MADE rules being imposed to resolve different issues related to morality, piousness...and what have you, which are not even really getting rid of the evil in people: To resolve lust, women are encouraged to dress "modestly". And the definition of "modestly" is covering most of the flesh. To resolve conflict between men interested in one woman, the men are encouraged to respect whoever started courtship first, and the woman is encouraged to exclusively date one man at a time. To resolve anger, the involved parties are encouraged to do mute withdrawal and give up on friendship. To prevent a married person from committing adultery, they must be too cautious in relating with other people, even friends, of opposite sex. To discourage heartbreak, single men are told to be too careful in dealing with single women or their intention might be mistaken as something else. To keep purity, the single man and woman in a relationship are encouraged (or inspired) not to kiss before marriage. Same thing with women. Not just in Christian communities but happens there, too... there's this unwritten silly rule that it is taboo to crush on the crush of one's friend! These are just but a few. 

But, all those mentioned aren't really getting rid of the evil within as instructed in Ephesians, "Stop being mean, bad-tempered, and angry. Quarreling, harsh words, and dislike of others should have no place in your lives." (TLB) It clearly says, STOP ...and not cover up. There's no other way around them but to STOP. In other versions GET RID. Not do quick fix. People have been making all other attempts to prevent the results of inner issues which are in every person's heart instead of simply opening the Bible and find the solutions from there. We try other ways rather than being obedient in following the examples of Christ and the Apostles. Which doesn't resolve the very issue of sin: lust, greed, bitterness, envy, jealousy, selfishness... They do anything except following what the Bible already tells Christians to do.

Lust is in the heart. Adultery is in the heart. Idolatry is in the heart. Greed, bitterness, anger, hatred, pride, arrogance...all are in the heart. It says in the book of Galatians, "when you follow your own wrong inclinations, your lives will produce these evil results: impure thoughts, eagerness for lustful pleasure, idolatry, spiritism (that is, encouraging the activity of demons), hatred and fighting, jealousy and anger, constant effort to get the best for yourself, complaints and criticisms, the feeling that everyone else is wrong except those in your own little group—and there will be wrong doctrine, envy, murder, drunkenness, wild parties, and all that sort of thing. Let me tell you again, as I have before, that anyone living that sort of life will not inherit the Kingdom of God." 

It's a choice to act on the issues within you. It's not about what other people do around you, it's not the circumstance nor the situation. It's all what's in the heart. When one sins, his/her own issue is just being exposed through another person or a situation. Jesus did nothing wrong to Judas yet Judas betrayed him. And the underlying issue is what? Greed. Unbelief. Personal agenda. Maybe even hatred. No matter how we try to cover up sin, its existence remain in the heart if not dealt with head on. If not acknowledged. Not because sin didn't birth it's not there. Jesus set the standard higher. A man need not commit sexual immorality with a woman to commit adultery. With eyes alone he sins.  (Matthew 5:28)

Telling women to cover themselves will never solve lust. Why is rape still rampant in countries where women are fully covered? Why are even young female children being sexually abused? (And, if I may add what the Bible suggests, "I also want the women to dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God." — why are Christian women too focused on how some others dress up while they still wear elaborate gold or pearl or whatever accessories and wear expensive clothes? Another example of cherry-picking Bible lines they want to apply and disregarding what they don't want to.) 

The Word says, "God wants you to be holy. He wants you to stay away from sexual sins. God wants each one of you to learn to control your own body. Use your body in a way that is holy and that gives honor to God. Don’t let your sexual desires control you like the people who don’t know God." Part of Christian discipline is to be masters of our own bodies. To exercise the fruit of the Holy Spirit—SELF-CONTROL. Yes, we can always flee. But, should temptation confront us face to face, will we stand firm following Christ's teachings? We will all be tested with fire. We will all be facing tests to challenge our faith. Will we prove ourselves worthy? Or are we only good at quick fixing? It is not by adding rules that the issue of lust gets solved. It is by living by the Spirit and choosing to follow the Spirit and not the flesh, which is the very thing with lust issues.

Telling single men to give way when a woman is already being pursued by another man doesn't solve the underlying issues in both men and women—pride, entitlement. It even gives a woman less privilege to choose a lifetime partner. And telling them to be too careful in dealing with single women isn't teaching them to "treat the older women as mothers, and the girls as your sisters, thinking only pure thoughts about them..." (1 Timothy 5:2) and "love each other as brothers and sisters." (1 Peter 3:8)

Advising people to end friendships when conflict happens don't teach them to be long-suffering, patient, tolerance and being kind. And it doesn't promote what the Bible teaches about CONFRONTATION (Matthew 18:15-17) and LOVING like we love ourselves. It also doesn't teach them to practice Colossians 3:13, "Be gentle and ready to forgive; never hold grudges. Remember, the Lord forgave you, so you must forgive others." 

I can go on and on... but, the bottom line is, God is telling us to PUT AN END to sin NOT by covering them up with rules to follow so people can simply hide their flaws. Christians are challenged to practice using the fruit of the Spirit. To fight the good fight. Battling their flesh. Denying themselves daily. It means, conscious effort and choice to do the right thing even in the face of temptation and not simply by avoidance. We are being equipped for a real battle. But, we're only knowledgeable in theory, not in practice.

One reason why being judgmental becomes a way of life in the Christian community is because many can just hide their issues and sins behind closed doors. They appear so angelic, very active in Church activities and ministries but have envy, hatred, whatever...in their hearts. Not as grave as the others' they're judging...but we're forgetting that in God's Eyes, all sins are equal. Nowhere in the Bible do we find God distinguishing between levels of sin. God doesn't share our rating system. To Him, all sin is equally evil, and all sinners are equally lovable. You're not murdering but you're looking down on others. Jesus said, "whatever you do to others, you do to Me". You're not coveting but you're gossiping. You're not stealing but you're speaking ill of others. There's no difference. You're still violating the second greatest commandment: "love your neighbor as yourself". And you can't violate the second commandment without violating the first.

Christianity isn't about what we readily show but who we really are even inside our closets. We can't stop sexual immorality by avoidance alone. We have to really choose even in the face of the toughest temptations. Same with all other worldly and fleshly desires. There's a need to stop quick fix. The Word says, PUT AN END. "Away then with sinful, earthly things; deaden the evil desires lurking within you; have nothing to do with sexual sin, impurity, lust, and shameful desires; don’t worship the good things of life, for that is idolatry. God’s terrible anger is upon those who do such things. You used to do them when your life was still part of this world; but now is the time to cast off and throw away all these rotten garments of anger, hatred, cursing, and dirty language.

Don’t tell lies to each other; it was your old life with all its wickedness that did that sort of thing; now it is dead and gone. You are living a brand new kind of life that is continually learning more and more of what is right, and trying constantly to be more and more like Christ who created this new life within you. In this new life one’s nationality or race or education or social position is unimportant; such things mean nothing. Whether a person has Christ is what matters, and he is equally available to all.

Jesus is our teacher. It's His ways that we follow. We don't need to look for other ways. We only need to look to Him. The Holy Spirit has been given to us. To instruct us, guide us and remind us. Remember what Christ taught, and let his words enrich your lives and make you wise; teach them to each other..." — Colossians 3. There is no more need to add complicated rules that only adds burden. We can't even keep up with the two greatest commandments, why do we add more? Are we forgetting Matthew 15:9? — "Their worship is worthless, for they teach their man-made laws instead of those from God."

Birthed sins are obvious sins. But, Christians can easily walk away with sins that are just conceived. Let's not deceive ourselves. The Word says, "from within, out of men’s hearts, come evil thoughts of lust, theft, murder, adultery, wanting what belongs to others, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, envy, slander, pride, and all other folly. All these vile things come from within; they are what pollute you and make you unfit for God." — Mark 7:21-23

Don’t waste time arguing over foolish ideas and silly myths and legends. Spend your time and energy in the exercise of keeping spiritually fit. — 1 Timothy 4:7

A student is not above his teacher, but everyone who is fully trained will be like his teacher. — Luke 6:40

Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever. — 1 Corinthians 9:25

The emphasis is participation not suppression. One can't say he's not a sinner only because he has avoided temptation. The only proof of righteousness is when one has successfully conquered his inner demons and walks away blameless.  Oh, the last part of the main passage says, "those rules only make people proud!" Very evidently PROUD, indeed! 

Every single event in life happens as an opportunity to choose love over fear.

Fear, I perceive, is something that drives people to do or not to do things. Many are steered by this emotion. And, it makes me ask myself, "am I also being driven by it?" I don't wanna be influenced by it, but somehow it can't be helped. With the many unpleasant things going on around, you can't help but be protective of yourself and do self-preservation. Past experiences, esp the painful ones, cause this emotion to be very operative like a personal escort alarming people of possible danger. Thing is, it may not be a REAL danger but just a perceived danger...and it's only because people have experienced serious heartbreak in the past, which makes them overprotective of themselves in the present. Fear, then, is like a skookum house. It detains you and forbids you to live a life of freedom.

Makes me appreciate this verse "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear." It's found in 1 John 4:18. There are two things that make me muse on the word LOVE. If you notice, the line practically suggests that when you love, you don't fear. Because there's an absence of it when love is present. But, if you consider the next sentence, PERFECT LOVE is mentioned. As I understand it, it's not just about the love as people understand it. Not just the love that people feel. Not the one that's fleeting and fading with time. But, it's one that is PERFECT.

The word PERFECT is defined as having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it is possible to be. Some synonyms include: without fault, exemplary, beyond compare, unequaled, quintessential. The author of the verse did not just say LOVE alone. He added an adjective to highlight what kind of love it is that can drive fear away. It is not just any love, but PERFECT love.

Which makes me convinced that it's not enough that people just settle for what the world tells us about love, or how we perceive love with our half-baked understanding of what it truly is. There's a scale...a gauge ...a level of quality to strive after. And unless we have a clear grasp of love's nucleus, we'll always be locked up in the slammer of FEAR. As long as we're ruled by fear, we'll never be able to experience love. More so, we won't be able to give love. We're gonna keep craving for it...begging for it...looking everywhere for it...but none will satisfy.

So, does it mean LOVE can never be experienced and attained? I'd say, of course, NO. God is LOVE. And, as we draw closer to Him, we'll have a better knowledge of love's essence. As we receive love from God Who is the Source of it, the love we receive will become a part of us...that it becomes the air we breathe in and out. Love will become like an involuntary muscle of our soul. It becomes a part of our being. And because it is a muscle, we need to flex it regularly...keep using it and giving it away...voluntarily and involuntarily. There will always be times we won't feel like loving. But, that is why Jesus said, "I give you a new command: Love each other. You must love each other just as I loved you." (John 13:34, ERV) God gave us LOVE and Jesus gave us a command to DO it and not just to FEEL it. We are told to be givers and not only to be receivers. 

Live a life of love. Love others just as Christ loved us. ― Ephesians 5:2

Never compromise Truth for the sake of getting along with people who can only get along when you agree.

My understanding of the word LEADER esp when it comes to discipleship isn't about position. It's rather a verb. It's more of leading by example. You build relationship and you show them how things are done. In discipleship's case, it's how things are done based on Christ's example. 

Contemplating on the idea, I believe there's truth in it. You can't be all nice. There is a need to maintain authority. Else, people will just be their own captains. Jesus also showed authority among His friends (disciples). Those who didn't believe Him eventually left. Those who questioned His ways and teachings went away. Because His teachings were indeed hard; and, those who found His instructions difficult and unpopular, criticized Him.

A number of times, God reminded me this one thing:  

"Students are not better than their teacher. Servants are not better than their master.  Students should be happy to be treated the same as their teacher. And servants should be happy to be treated the same as their master. If those people call me ‘the ruler of demons,’ and I am the head of the family, then it is even more certain that they will insult you, the members of the family!"

Tis Jesus speaking in the passage found in the book of Matthew (vs 10:24 & 25).

True enough, there will be people who will question, chide, belittle... anyone who follows and teaches Jesus' ways and commands. At times, they'd get offended at what's said although it's all Biblical. It's tougher when they'd built mindsets and understanding of the Word that's totally their own. Esp when they've been holding on to those mindsets and understanding for all their life. The challenge comes when it's time for them to break it and you happen to be the one to do the breaking!

Happened to me not just a couple of times but countless times. Hesitation will always be there but this always comes to mind...

"...don’t worry about what to say or how you should say it. At that time you will be given the words to say. It will not really be you speaking; the Spirit of your Father will be speaking through you.

...Everyone will hate you because you follow Me. But the one who remains faithful to the end will be saved." (10:19, 20, 22)

Repeatedly, I'd hear from Church pastors how many people leave the congregation after finding certain sermons objectionable. Naturally, the preaching will come out off-putting to them...because... 

God’s word is alive and working. It is sharper than the sharpest sword and cuts all the way into us. It cuts deep to the place where the soul and the spirit are joined. God’s word cuts to the center of our joints and our bones. It judges the thoughts and feelings in our hearts.

Oftimes, people are oversensitive to corrections. They malign anything that points at their flaws. I am not exempt from this. At times, my heart bleeds hearing something that exposes my hidden evil thoughts, feelings or deeds. And, if I am to be real honest now...there really is an impulse to rise in arms whenever it feels like I'm being upbraided. My inside protests automatically...like a whim. Thank God for His grace I acknowledge it's PRIDE. So, when I don't understand something, when I don't see the wrong in me...I take the lesson with me, place it in my pocket for later use. I contemplate and assess things...I gauge myself. 

To lead people, one needs true grit. One must not have the need for approval. Otherwise, they'll crouch down in fear and choose to say what will be pleasing to the hearers, instead of what the hearers need to hear. Jesus showed His example ― He wasn't swayed by men. He paid no attention to who they were but continued teaching the way of God in accordance with the Truth [ref Mark 12:14].  After all, Christians are warned that ...

"everyone who wants to live showing true devotion to God in Christ Jesus will be persecuted."  ― 2 Timothy 3:12

Not everyone has an open mind, which is very necessary in order to grasp the Truth [example of the Bereans. Ref Acts 17:11] And, because of this, Jesus and the Apostles encourage all Christians and disciples to stand firm...be strong in the Lord and hold on to faith. Never be afraid of rejection... even reproach. Speak the Truth in love. But, be ready that not everyone can/will accept it for the Word says...

"The Father sent Me. No man can come to Me unless the Father gives him the desire to come to Me. Then I will raise him to life on the last day." ―John 6:44

Some hearts are too hardened to receive the Truth...they're blind and deaf...

‘They will look and look but never really see;
    they will listen and listen but never understand.
If they saw and understood,
    they might change and be forgiven.’ 

― Mark 4:12


...You will listen and you will hear,
    but you will not understand.
You will look and you will see,
    but you will not understand what you see.

―Acts 28:26

It will always be tough to lead. You need to guard your heart, your mind and your lips with all alertness, or you, too will fall into temptation. You might be swayed to take the easier way. To choose convenience. Several times God reminded me this...

 

"The person who is right with Me will live by trusting in Me. But I will not be pleased with the one who turns back in fear." ― Hebrews 10:38

There will always be situations where you will need to rebuke, to correct, to say things that may offend others.  Not because of foul words used or because of intention. But, by simply speaking the Truth which happens to point at an issue in a person's life. And you can't be resolving to being nice just to try to make the person comfortable or to keep the harmony. Just trust that if the person belongs to Christ, (s)he will recognize His voice through you. Maybe it'll not happen as smoothly as you expect, but in God's perfect time it will. ^_^ Jesus was not always nice with words. There were instances when He spoke harshly. Read Matthew 10:34-36 and tell me if it's not sarcastic. He also said this line to Peter, “Get behind me, Satan!” Sometimes, there's simply no other way to express what we need to say other than the way it will sound offensive to the receiver. 

Of course, this should be taken with caution or you might become too comfortable offending others. Being a leader doesn't give anyone the right to lord over another. And we have to be careful that what we're shoving down anyone's throat isn't just any rule we created based on how we understand the Word ―cherry-picking what we independently decided to be moral and disregarding which we disagree. We have to understand and use the Word in Its very context. It's safer rather to quote the Bible as it says in 2 Timothy 3:16...

"All Scripture is given by God. And all Scripture is useful for teaching and for showing people what is wrong in their lives. It is useful for correcting faults and teaching the right way to live."

 Leadership needs a lotta wisdom and grace from God. Therefore, leaders must devote themselves to prayer...being watchful... Pray without ceasing!

Pen down...closing my diary.

...Clock shows 4:14am and am wide awake. Music on. So many thoughts running in my head at the same time. Thought of typing them in OpenDiary. When was the last time I checked it?  Can't even remember.  Today, it's no more. *sad*  

Was about to log in ...only it wouldn't take me to the page. So, I made a track down of what could be going on. And, here's the sad news I found...

"Open Diary officially shutdown on 7th of February 2014 at 12:04 a.m. EST."

 Letting go can't be so hard to do but it's neither easy. Like am this kind of person who finds it hard to just give up on / let go of ANYTHING. Holding on is what am good at doing. If I have a huge storage I'd have a collection of assorted things. A serious case of hoarding!

Once it came into me a thought...it's easier to let go of something that died than something (or someone) that just left. My reason's when you know it's dead, it's gone forever...while when it just left, you know it just moved somewhere and knowing it still exists ignites something inside that push you to search for it. (Without certainty it wants you back.) Hope lingers that a time may still come that you'd bump into that some-thing/one again...desperately hoping you both feel the same excitement and happiness having found each other again. 

Going back to OD... it's truly GOODBYE. *sniffs* It buried with it my thoughts and emotions I may not anymore remember. Hope it's a good thing.

...and it closed some chapters of my life I rather should forget. Farewell, OpenDiary. Twas a good journey with you all those years. ^_^

'I release you. I evict you from my heart. Because if I don't do it now, I never will.'