Sometimes when you open up to people, you let the bad in with the good.

This semi-long chat with someone, actually, answered some of my own questions. Yeah, it's really damn hard to give trust to just anyone. Really doesn't matter if this is a childhood friend...a new friend...a best friend you're sharing your (darkest) secrets with. Fact is, sooner or later, this person whom you trusted can still spill everything out. Regardless what motive. Even a very petty argument may lead to a kiss-and-tell act. Or, maybe not intentionally. It could be this typical drinking session scene -- everyone gets drunk and viola! There goes your story.

Trusting involves a great deal of preparedness. You have to understand the entire picture. That it's not just about you and you trusting. There's another person you are involving. And it doesn't matter whether this person makes a vow to never disclose your secret to anyone. We can't control what the other person will do. And, it's only vain to utter, "I trusted you" after this someone had relayed the story and the whole world already knows.

Who's to blame, really? This I can't answer, still. Nevertheless, I believe both have the responsibility. But, going back to the key "preparedness"... the one disclosing the secret to another should know that promises are made to be broken. (Ok, Let's just say 'mostly')... but not because you chose to trust, the other person will really be a friend. Or, at least, take the commitment to keep the secret to himself. No. It could be just like this line in the flick, "Horton Hears a Who?"...

"promise me to never tell anyone..."
"Ok. But, if we'd ever tell someone, will tell that someone to not tell anyone."
(not the actual wordings)

Yes, there are trustworthy people. Very scarce, however. They must be in the woods...hiding. My point is, one should only share his/her deepest secrets when he/she's really 'prepared'... Prepared to take the consequences. The outcome. "Will the other person really accept me after I tell all?" Or "will this person change the way he/she sees me?"

Everyone, I think, gets to the point of asking the same questions. And this might be what's stopping them from sharing their wrongs or mistakes to friends and loved ones. Such a dilemma, if you think of it. A really serious issue.

My opinion is, when there is no need to open up, then, don't. Who cares about your past, intfp? But, if this wrong or mistake involves a special person, then, that's another story. If this secret will surely hurt the other person once he/she finds out in the future...worse from another person and not from you... then, I believe there is a great need to sit with that someone and talk things over before it's too late. Confess and face the consequence. Either that or live with guilt. "Open rebuke is better than secret love."

None of us have the obligation to share all to friends or people close to us. This is our initiative. Could be out of need for someone to listen and so at least ease the burden a lil. We choose to trust with no one pointing a gun to our heads. It's a decision we make. Now, I strongly believe that, if someone confessed to me something wrong he had done to me in the past, I owe him something big. Because he took courage to tell me. And that's amazing. Honesty is another way of showing we truly love someone. But, if the secret doesn't concern me at all, I won't really mind. Although, am sure I'd appreciate the trust. Why would I give a fuzz? Unless, it directly involves me, of course. And maybe even it concerns me, if it's in the past, there's nothing that can be done to undo it. No other better response but accept.

People differ. Each one reacts differently from one sitch to another. So, careful thinking is very necessary if one is to open up some misstep in the past. First, is't necessary to tell this person? When I say, 'necessary', I mean...is there a bigger possibility that this someone will learn of the secret? Second, will this person understand? Third, can this person accept the truth? Lotsa considerations, actually.

There are too many mediocre things in life...and LOVE shouldn't be one of them.

Paper Tiger's soup kitchen was a success.

...and another answered prayer today ('yesterday' by the time this is posted) to share before I go to the details. I kinda uttered once before this day, 'how I wish the weather will not be too hot on the day of the planned SK'. If you all noticed, the weather has been a lil unbearable lately; but today, (at least in Manila) twas cloudy. It even drizzled just about the same time as I was doing the activity. God really is moving in ways we can only imagine. *sincere smile*

Twas a great feeling to see smiling faces as they receive blessings. To me, it's actually mixed emotion. Was filled with joy and at the same time moved by those kids' situations. They toil the entire day...walking around the streets and highways to sell "Sampaguita", cigarettes or wiping cloths to motorists... paying no attention to the sun's radiant heat. And if you just closely observe, these children are very young. At least most. Maybe around 5-10. They're in ragged, torn clothes and with growling tummies. Twas a pitiful sight.

We trekked Ortigas. It's the area where we usually see lotsa street kids. Only, afternoon is not the best time to look for them. It is during this time that they are scattered in different areas to get more customers so it kinda took us long to dispatch the goodies.

Our first child -- a cigarette vendor. Found him along EDSA under the flyover going to Greenhills. The red light gave us a good chance to hand the goodies to the small boy. He was already knocking at the window of the black F50 in front of us (to the right) when we called on him. He moved to our direction hesitatingly and was surprised to see the goodies being handed to him. The boy grabbed the food and said "thank you". He walked slowly away to the isle and sat to start with the food. At that time, I was really teary-eyed thinking the boy might already be starving and that chance of getting free food is already something.

Our first group (a group of boys) we found in the posh part of Ortigas Center. They were picking up bottles and steel metals. We parked shortly to give them goodies and left. I was moved when before we closed the car windows they said, "thank you" with so much sincerity. Tears collected around my eyes as I felt how they appreciate a simple act of generosity. And yeah...how evident that they haven't eaten anything yet when it's already way past lunch.

These are just the same scenarios the entire SK hours. Same... only becoming more intense emotions with each child. Particularly, this group of girls who also thought of their parents and siblings. I mean, they are already safe. They already have food. But, no, that's not enough. If they are going to eat, their siblings and parents are also going to eat. Proof that there's really good in everyone.

Twas a wonderful feeling to be a part of a few peoples' lives. Even for just a few seconds. What's more fulfilling is to see the smiles on their faces. Like telling you, 'you answered one of our present needs'. It's addictive. It won't stop today. There is going to be a series of this event. This is a gift I give myself. And there is joy in my heart.