FAKE is the trend and so many are in STYLE!

To every person who gossiped about me; to everyone who tries to be close to me to know my story only to tell the world of it in a malicious manner; to the close-minded; to the judgmental and critic; to friends who turned out to be backstabbers; to those who envy and compete; and, to those who "secretly" keep their dislike or hatred toward me yet smile at and talk nicely to me: 

You all challenge me to become a better person. You all turn me into a stronger and wiser woman. For all that you have done -- no matter how bad and hurtful... you've unknowingly done so much in favor of me. For that, I THANK you ALL.

I share the same sentiment King David had...

If it were an enemy making fun of me, I could endure it; if it were an opponent boasting over me, I could hide myself from him. But it is you, my companion, my colleague and close friend.  We had intimate talks with each other and worshiped together in the Temple. [Psalm 55:12]

And this, my best friend, betrayed his best friends;
    his life betrayed his word.
All my life I’ve been charmed by his speech,
    never dreaming he’d turn on me.
His words, which were music to my ears,
    turned to daggers in my heart.  [v. 20-21]

 ~~~~~~~~~~

 You might call many people your “friends,”but it is hard to find someone who can really be TRUSTED. [Proverbs 20:6, ERV]

Evil people say things to make themselves look good,
but they keep their evil plans a secret.
What they say sounds good, but don’t trust them.
They are full of evil ideas. They hide their evil plans with nice words,
but in the end, everyone will see the evil they do.
Liars hate the people they hurt, and false praise can hurt people.
[Proverbs 26:24-28]

It's truly helpful to not EXPECT from anyone. You'll be so surprised to know ...the people you thought are sincere friends are the very ones who "secretly" hate you for whatever reasons you won't ever fathom. They are worse than enemies because they always try to inflict pain in ways unimaginable while you're unsuspiciously giving your trust. It's simply frustrating how no matter you give the best that you can...the best that you have...it'll never suffice. Some friends hide behind smiles but their hearts are filled with inexplicable animosity. You may arrive at different conclusions and try to fix what might be wrong with you, but the truth is, you will never be able to satisfy them because they're really not your friends right from the beginning, in the first place. Sad but true.

And, I learned this truth the hard way...

 

Not because I choose to do right I can expect others to do the same. I realized that I can only be responsible for my own behavior and attitude. I will never have any influence in another's. It's their choice. And, unless they resolve in their hearts to release animosity, hatred, bitterness, envy, and all other negative feelings they choose to nurture... I can never expect them to be considerate of my feelings. There's emptiness, hunger and thirst within them, which no matter how I try to fill will never be satisfied. I am not the solution. My solutions aren't gonna help either. I can try and try to be better as a friend, as a person...but, it is not I who can arrange what's messy in them. They need to drop the ill feelings -- hatred, jealousy, hostility, etc. -- first and experience God's love, mercy and grace. 

The world yells, "leave those who only cause you misery...and stick to the ones who give you more love and inspiration".  Tempting to consider, huh?! Very convenient. But, self-seeking. Opposite of what the Word says, "bear with the failings of the weak" (Romans 15:1) and "do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others." (Philippians 2:4)

Yes, I can't do anything about the way they feel about me...about the way they treat me. They may decide to stay fake all they want. But, I can't give up LOVING. It's so true...you'll only know that you love when you sacrifice. You sacrifice your own feelings for the good of another. I can't deny that loving those who hide their hatred behind fake friendship is PAINFUL. It truly is. And, there are times I simply feel like running away from them because I am so aware of the harm they intend to inflict. Just, how can I deny them love when God didn't deny His love from me even I don't deserve it? How can I choose to give up on people when God never thought of giving up on me? God knows my innermost thoughts. God knows I am inclined to choose things that hurt Him. Still, HE chooses to love me over and over and over...............

The command to "love your enemies" is indeed challenging. But, it's more tough to love a friend who betrays. Yet, the best contribution you can impart to anyone, esp the unlovable, is unconditional love. Because they need it most when they least deserve it. If I won't choose to love them in their worst state, who will? Yes, God will. But, how can they experience God if not through me? Christians are vessels of God's love, compassion, mercy, forgiveness...and all the good stuff. And as a Christian, I can't decide who should and should not receive any good stuff when they're in God's list of recipients. I have no right to skip anyone only because they're harmful.

So all of you should live together in peace.Try to understand each other. Love each other like brothers and sisters. Be kind and humble.  Don’t do wrong to anyone to pay them back for doing wrong to you. Or don’t insult anyone to pay them back for insulting you. But ask God to bless them. Do this because you yourselves were chosen to receive a blessing.

The Scriptures say,
“If you want to enjoy true life and have only good days,  then avoid saying anything hurtful, and never let a lie come out of your mouth.  [1 Peter 3:8-10 ERV]

I just place my confidence in one thing: "The Lord sees what happens everywhere. He watches everyone, good and evil." [Proverbs 15:3]  All I have to do is to "Turn to the Lord for help in everything you do, and you will be successful." [Proverbs 16:3]  I trust what the Word says, "If you are always trying to do good, no one can really harm you. But you may suffer for doing right. If that happens, you have God’s blessing. “Don’t be afraid of the people who make you suffer; don’t be worried." [1 Peter 3:13,14]

Someone told me that unconditional love isn't possible with man. That it's only God Who can love that way. I almost want to agree because of the difficulty in doing it. But, I am fully convinced that because Christ already won the victory, I too, am a victor. I only need to be strong in the Lord. Like what the Apostle Paul said, "I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live I live by believing in God's Son, who loved me and took the punishment for my sins." That's why Jesus said, "deny yourself and pick up your cross daily."  

  I will not allow defeat. I am not "of those who shrink back, but of those who have faith."

I can do all things through Christ Who gives me strength!

Toodles!

"LOVE doesn't come with conditions."

“Love isn't just about everything nice. It's more of sticking it out when it's hard...when you're mad...even when you're tired.” ― The Best Man

It's not always that I get to have long conversations with relatives. Twas an enlightening one Tuesday night spending hours with my aunts, cousin and mom. Was very happy to see my nephews, brother, sister and her husband after a while. Learned many things. I came to acquaint myself with my roots. Somehow, the talk opened my eyes to many other angles and sides I'd never seen before. I realized I had remained naive. Still too many facts about life I wasn't aware of.

Not that I just received everything as was fed to me. Yes, I am not gonna deny that everything made sense. Answered many questions I'd been searching to get. It's like the yak really meant to happen. For whatever reason it had to happen. And, am hoping it's rather beneficial than destructive to me.

So many things discussed which confused me about what lessons I have been learning from the Scriptures and God's wisdom. Shook the foundation that I thought already established strongly in my core. But, I am reminded of the Word... "the enemy only comes to steal, kill and destroy". Yes, that talk really had to happen but I won't let it be used against me. I have been graciously given the understanding of the Truth for me to fail. No, I will hold on to God's Truth not the world's.

The past was relived as we talked about dad. I had to keep reassuring them there's no resentment whatsoever left in my heart. Twas long gone. In fact, even before it sprung, I already pulled the weed. I have no ill feelings toward my father. Maybe, people simply have their own perceptions of things no matter how carefully words are chosen. 

There are so many things I can charge against my dad, if truth be told. I was denied the experience of having a father who could've nurtured my emotional needs, built my confidence, and given me assurance that I am loved not for the good I do but for everything that I am. It ached me for years that I put so much effort in making my dad appreciate me; yet, instead, I was consistently rejected, put down, neglected and ignored. Yes, I have all the reason to be angry and bitter. And, I think, the way he was to me did affect me big time. It caused me to fear a lot of things. It caused me to be negative and to shut my world off. I had more than enough rejections, that's already it! But, well, God has really been awesomely gracious to me. He intervened even before the ill feelings were allowed to sink in. I was healed. And, everything else that happened after -- all the experiences, failures, pain -- simply made me more wise, loving and understanding.

Love isn't really something to have, but something to DO. I realized that I was wrongly loving. I love my dad so much and all I ever focused on my entire younger years was to have his love, as well. No doubt he loves me, too. He's prolly just not good at expressing it nor verbalizing it. Thing is, I was loving with the hopes that I will HAVE his love, too. Eventually, it's taken its toll on me. I became tired because HAVING didn't seem possible. I came to a point when I don't anymore want to DO because I knew it's impossible to HAVE.

It's like those men who I consider without backbones. Those who are only testing the waters. They don't wanna DO. They just wanna HAVE. So, if they see no possibility of HAVING, no way they're gonna DO anything. Why waste effort? Why invest? Loving seems nothing but a business.

That gave me an alert during the long talkfest with my relatives. I heard the word DUTY. I heard someone said, "relationship is just like corporation". Love (as it appears) is nothing but an investment. Don't give if there's no return. Broke my heart.

I almost believed its benefits. It's enticing to take because life would be more comfortable and convenient like that. Think about yourself. Love yourself more. Keep everything -- even people and loved ones -- at a safe distance unless they prove they're worth all the efforts. If things get hard, just walk away. Sounds to me as if people are no different from objects. Get rid of them when they're not anymore useful. You gotta preserve your happiness and comfort because you're entitled to it. All these focus on SELF. Self-interest. Funny how even Bible verses are being twisted to justify selfish reasons. "Love your neighbors as yourself" is translated as, "love yourself first before you can give love...for you can't give what you don't have." 

How sad that relationships don't anymore matter as much as it should because God values His relationship with human race. No matter how insignificant people are, how useless...because they're foolish and wicked... God sees beauty in each one and He is more than driven to love them more without requirements. But, people? ...they give themselves all the right to qualify whether a person or persons should or should not be accepted. Imagine, we have the guts to say to another how they don't belong because they failed in meeting certain standards when we don't even meet God's standards!? Ridiculous.

But, there's one thing I came to realize about the phrases I heard during the late night yak. That as a Christian, I should be too careful not to believe the world anymore. That I should be inwardly transformed by the renewing of my mind. God didn't put me on Earth to be comfortable. He put me on Earth to share the suffering of Christ. And that means, I must deny myself...my feelings, my hurts, my rights, my opinion...my everything...for love and relationships. Many people out there don't know God and can't experience His love because they turned away from Him. I am among Christ's representatives walking on Earth to deliver that gift of love to those people. If I allow the world to influence me, I won't be of any use as Jesus' agent. There is no purpose for my existence anymore.

I am not OF the world; although, I am IN the world. I am the change the world needs. If it is to suffer for the sake of relationship and the salvation of people God is running after, then suffer it is. Relationship isn't about getting or having what I want. Relationship is about loving others because God loves them the same way as He loves every single soul in this world. Truly, those who don't love don't know God because they never experienced His love. They have not experienced HIM Who is Love.

Loving my neighbor as myself is treating them the same way I treat myself: I am very forgiving of myself. I excuse myself whenever I fail. I overlook my weaknesses. When I am hungry, I feed myself. When I hurt someone, I try hard not to keep blaming myself for my selfishness. I don't highlight my flaws. In fact, I magnify my virtues. ...just to give some examples. I strongly believe that if I am to love my neighbor as myself, I need to extend the same patience, love, understanding, forgiveness, etc. to them because that's the way I love myself. I can't love myself enough to be able to extend love to others. I NEED God to supply me that love so that I can extend love. It's only God Who can abundantly give everything that I need so I can be generous to others. It's not when I put myself first before others that will enable me to give. In fact, I'll sure be more wanting and greedy if that's how I do things. My wants will never end as I keep having. That's one of the lies the world feeds people even Christians. The Word encourages Christ's ambassadors to "never give up in doing good" because it gets tiring at some point. It gets really painful most of the time that giving up seems to be the best solution. However, it's not what God intends to happen. HE wants us to "finish the race" successfully.

I won't do anything for the sake of duty alone. I am not gonna keep treating people good because I know that's what I am called for. Maybe, it's a good start when love is not felt. But, it shouldn't be the reason for doing things. God isn't being gracious out of duty but out of love.

No arguments...it's hard to love people. It's exhausting. But, because God chooses to love me every time I fail...every time I sin...every time I act selfishly, I choose to live and walk in love, as well. I love because God first loved me.  

“Here is a simple rule of thumb for behavior: Ask yourself what you want people to do for you; then grab the initiative and do it for them! If you only love the lovable, do you expect a pat on the back? Run-of-the-mill sinners do that. If you only help those who help you, do you expect a medal? Garden-variety sinners do that. If you only give for what you hope to get out of it, do you think that’s charity? The stingiest of pawnbrokers does that.

“I tell you, love your enemies. Help and give without expecting a return. You’ll never—I promise—regret it. Live out this God-created identity the way our Father lives toward us, generously and graciously, even when we’re at our worst. Our Father is kind; you be kind.

“Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.”  [Luke 6:31-38 MSG]