“My life's an open book. Some of the pages are a little ripped, but it's open.”

In order to be really happy, I figured... we must understand that in this world, we own NOTHING. That anything can be taken away from us in an instant. Accepting this fact will help us to let go easily without leaving a desire in us to cling on to whatever we want to keep. 

I looked around and I see people who, just like me, are living their own lives, making their own decisions, moving around in accordance to their will. When I want some munchies, nothing and no one can stop me from grabbing the next bag of chips I like. I choose a big bag of chips. I choose the cheese flavored one. If you also want some munchies and you're only gonna ask me to divvy, you can't insist what flavor I should buy. Buy your own!

On the other hand, we can agree what flavor to buy. You don't really need to chip in. It is up to me if I want to consider your request. You cannot force what you want unless you decide it's your treat. I can also be very considerate, in fact, and pay for the snack. ...It's called generosity. 

Free will. Such a simple word yet hard to truly fathom. 

For many, it has become really hard to let go only because they haven't learned to understand freedom of choice. Or they have not learned to accept and respect another's choice, maybe.

When a love relationship ends, there's always one left and often stuck. The one left can't believe what just happened and, how in a blink of an eye, the other person changed. Surprised how love has gone in a flash. Often, they become too engrossed trying to figure out where they went wrong that it becomes their way of life. They keep reviewing the videotape in their head hoping to solve the puzzle. So, it's hard to move on. It just makes it hard to move on but nothing gets resolved, actually.

We're very curious about the WHYs. But, even if we get the answer, there are simply things that can't be fixed anymore. There are things when broken remain broken. Irreparable. You may have already learned what you needed to and promised never to do the same again; sadly, though, the other person already made a decision. And no matter what you do, they've already chosen to move on...without you. 

Regrets. Another reason why many still suffer. They hold on to "what could've beens", "should've"... Everything in life is nothing but LESSONS. We are all faulty beings. We'll always screw up. But, we must never feel sorry for the mistakes to the point of misery or depression. Just learn and try never to do them again. Apologize if it's gonna give you peace but throw regrets away and move forward.

Blame. I guess it's part of being human to point fingers at. In failed relationships, however, we often take the blame so we can't forgive ourselves. This causes us  to allow ourselves to be doormats. "I screwed up so I just deserve this." The guilt within makes us permit the other person to do whatever they wish just for us to keep them no matter it pierce us. Unconsciously, we also blame them that they're just as imperfect as we are. No help at all.

Regrets and blame aren't really the problem. The real problem is that we can't find it in our hearts to just accept that certain things happen. We don't need to know why. And knowing the reason why won't help even. So, why bother? (In fact, knowing just makes it more complicated.)

Or, maybe it helps to know WHY.

Ok...Why? Because of freedom of choice. Unless, of course, in case of death which none of us would choose. But, if you think again, if it's not anyone's choice then there's a Higher Being who willed it. 

Lovers get left behind because someone exercised their freedom of choice. They don't want the relationship anymore. They fell out of love. They got bored. Whatever their reason may be, it is not for us to question. It's simply what they want. It's their decision. Regardless of the motive, a choice has been made. We only have to accept and respect it. 

Nobody owes us any explanation. As the idiom goes, "Live and Let Live." We surely won't feel comfortable if people around us keep asking us why we dress the way we do, why we speak a certain way, why we sleep with our eyelids slightly apart. I think that's annoying. Of course, my examples are ridiculous but isn't it also ridiculous to keep asking questions as if the answers will change a thing? Don't we find ourselves annoying whenever we keep asking in our mind why we were left for another? It only makes us feel insecure. So, we start comparing ourselves to the new found partner. And it adds to the already present depression in us. We have to understand that most of the time it's not about us. It's simply about freedom of choice. Preference. Prerogative. 

I am amazed at how God respects our freedom of choice. In fact, I often mull over how HE must be hurting because of our choices; yet, HE lets us be. Isn't it totally selfless? HE doesn't insist what HE wants. HE searches our hearts so HE knows the motive behind every decision, but HE simply allows us to live the way we want. How HE desires the best for us but HE understands that we also have our own desires so HE allows us the freedom to make choices. I believe that's TRUE LOVE. No coercion. I mean, HE is our Creator. Our everything. Yet, HE practices humility by respecting our freedom. HE surely knows better but HE doesn't slap that to our faces. HE is powerful and HE can just make us love HIM, but HE rather wants us to love HIM by will.  

God shows us how we can live life to the full. How we can live in thanksgiving and joy. We only have to be selfless. Learn to get out of ourselves and realize that life is not about us. We aren't the center of the universe. We can't expect people to live for us or according to our wants. They have a life, too. So, stop looking for justifications, reasons or explanations and just realize that it's all because they have to make a decision. Their choices will not always be favorable to us, of course. And it's too much too expect that we get only the best things. Everything's part of life. That includes PAIN. Live with it.

Actually, pain is felt only because of selfishness. We want something. We don't get it. It hurts us. Of course, we'll always want something. But, knowing that we can't always have what we want will keep us from pain. Let's throw the bratty attitude and don't treat people as if they're lifeless, mindless... as if they can be owned. Like, look around and you'll see a few or maybe more people desiring you but you have preferences. You made a choice, too. Only not favorable to them. That makes it quits. *devilish green*  

 Til next time...

    

I don't fit into any stereotypes. I like myself that way.

So I got invited to share my wits by being a Wizpert. ^_^  Isn't it cool? I mean, I have not been consistent adding more scribblings to my almost oblivious page and someone actually found my thoughts ("knowledge" as he put it) of great value. Geesh! Whatta way to start Tuesday! Thanks to Michael Weinberg. Nothing else makes life a little more wonderful than appreciation.

This means, I hafta be active again. And I should better not be too critical of myself. Often, although I have brilliant ideas to share, I tend to brush them off and tell myself they might not make any sense to the world. I mean, there are like gazillion of bright minds across the globe confidently expressing their opinions, which are truly worth reading, in fact. So, as always, I take the back seat and keep mine to myself (or share them silently to those closest to me).

I'll hafta battle this inferiority thing inside of me to fulfill the prophecy given to me early this year. Exude positivity, Zhilaohu! Do not mind so much what other people will say. They always have something to say, anyway. I can't stop for anyone. Especially not for those who got nothing good to say. 

Made me realize that successful people aren't concerned. That's the key. They're aware that there are eyes watching their every move but they simply can't stop for anyone. They have to live. They are passionate to live. The I-don't-care-what-you-think attitude gives them freedom to do whatever they feel like doing. I don't think there's anything wrong with that for as long as they're not stepping on anyone's foot. Critics are nothing but hurdles along the way. We are not to treat them as red lights or walls.

"I can do ALL things through Christ who gives me strength!"

 Wanna share this inspiring video...

 

I became so used to being competitive. Gotta work hard to be better. Better than who? Whoa! This is the first time I ever asked this question. All I can remember is, I grew up wanting to make my dad appreciate me. I didn't mind making him proud of me, actually. Just appreciate me should've been enough. So, I gave my best to excel in almost everything. I was an achiever. I did excel in many things. Even things I never imagined I could do. But, twas never enough. And because I lived seeing myself through the eyes of my dad, I failed to appreciate my own self. Took a toll on me big time. So, I gave up and started to see myself through the eyes of others. Silly. Exhausting. I learned that the world demands a lot when you're more than willing to give more than you should. They'll even take advantage! Learned it the hard way. It will drain you. Not worth it.

I was freed when I finally started seeing myself through the eyes of God. HIS love for me helped me regain the confidence and self-esteem I lost only by making attempts to be appreciated. I wasn't aware of the thirst for some things -- love, appreciation, concern, etc -- and it actually affected me sooo much. But, God has always been faithful. HIS Word made me understand my worth...

“Before I made you in your mother’s womb, I knew you. Before you were born, I chose you for a special work...” [Jeremiah 1:5, ETRv]

But, then, it was not all bad. Truly, "in everything God works for the good of those who love HIM." [Romans 8:28]  Everything in my past made me who I am today. That strong desire to receive appreciation from Daddy simply turned me into a better person now. Still, it's all worth it. Nothing to regret at all. 

So...am coming back to doing my thing...WRITING! I won't hesitate anymore. Applying what the Word says, "Whatever you do, do it from the heart for the Lord and not for people." [Colossians 3:23, CEBv]

 Toodle-ooh!