Beauty is not caused. It is.

Every girl's (even boys, I believe) problem has always been zits. Gone are the days when the only solution available's "Calamansi". I remember my dad proudly taught me about it when small pimples started appearing on my forehead. That was when I started using face powder in high school. He told me that my aunt's best friend was Calamansi. It's quite convincing since she really have very beautiful skin. Of course, it's not just the topical treatments that give her skin its natural glow. Diet and discipline helped a lot. She's a vegetarian, may I mention.

Anyway, that was Jurassic era. Now, we are all so lucky to have a variety of aids to choose from. There's Obagi, Murad, Mario Badescu, Proactiv, just to name a few. But, of course, these product brands are not so friendly to everyone since they are kind of costly. But, then, there are also products out there that are pocket friendly. However, their efficacy differs from one skin type to another. You just have to patiently find what could be effective for you.

Among the popular pimple fighting products you can see in our major supermarkets, groceries and drugstores are Ponds, Olay, Clerasil, Panoxyl (this is very effective in drying the zits but can also dry or burn the skin), Eskinol...astringents such as MaxiPeel, and the more affordable products like Mena and Renow-D (these are Chinese products, I think). All these products have their share of impressive testimonials.

I've tried several products, as well. But found one to be the most effective for me -- SOS (Save Our Skin - Clindamycin Phosphate). It's a topical treatment for acne.

Twas only by accident when I found out about this product just a couple of years ago. I was only buying some munchies at a Mercury Drug Store nearby when I saw this product displayed near the cashier. I read the label and decided to give it a try since, at that time, I had huge beauty spots on my cheeks and forehead. My breakouts are usually allergic reaction to certain foods so they're really stubborn and last for some weeks. Worse, they often leave scars and marks. Grr.

So, I tried SOS. I read the label again for instruction and opened the small bottle. It's akin to a mini roll-on deodorant and smells like antibiotic. But, you'd get used to it eventually. Especially, when you start experiencing its wonderful effect.

After washing and drying my face, I rolled it on the affected areas. After a few seconds, I felt the parts where I applied SOS on were a lil itchy. So, I went to the mirror and looked at how my skin's reacting. Puss was coming out and I didn't even prick them!They're just literally flowing from inside my poor inflamed facial skin. I was kinda concerned it might leave another ugly marks.

Next day, the zits were almost gone and, remarkably, unlike the other products I previously used, the areas where the pimples were the night before didn't show any marks, at all. I was happy! The next time I applied SOS, I also rolled it on areas of my face where there were scars and dark spots. They, too, eventually diminished. After only 3 days, the dark spots had become invisible. Hurray!

But, of course, although SOS truly makes wonders I am aware that discipline is necessary to keep my skin healthy. I, now, avoid foods I know are common allergens. So, buh-bye chicken (Mang Inasal, KFC, KR... *sobs*), eggs, "some" chips...blah blah blah.

Since I am hypersensitive to allergens I am already careful with what I eat. I also drink as much fluid as I can. The tea JP introduced to me, I must say, also helps big time. It's called Nutri Health Drink. It contains Green tea, L-Carnitine, Seaweeds, Vitamin-C and Glutathione. I will talk about it next time.

Enough sleep is also very helpful. From sleeping only about 2 hours, I try sleeping longer hours now and I stay away from stress. I avoid negative thoughts and struggle so hard to keep my beauty routine. (Every now and then, I fail to keep up with it, though. *sigh*)

Am highly recommending SOS as replacement to our old school acne home remedy treatments, and expensive beauty products.

Toodle-oo!

I understand. I'm tired of understanding. All I do is understand.

Sometimes all we ask for is simply to be given allowances. To be understood. Maybe it's just me but I feel that I am so restricted. That I have to be always careful with what I do or I fail someone. This, to me, seem unfair. And, not to mention...requiring such unflinching effort.

There are times am wondering how come there are too many "really" bad people who can just get away with some nasty things they do to another. Yet, when it comes to me, one wrong move and it's like I never done anything good in my life. When I know there were countless goods I'd done. (All us have done countless goods to others...even the bad guys.) When I know in my heart that in everything I do, I always consider the welfare of others. How can life be so bias?

You know those bullies in school? Or the work bullies? They do whatever they wish. They lord over the weak but do they even get punished enough? Of course, I don't mean to say they must be severely punished. Just am thinking why am I not given the same consideration as these group of people? People give excuses for them. That they're from broken families, that they're this and that... Can't anyone also give reasons for me sometimes? Don't I have the right to be like everyone else -- human? Flawed, that is.

After I had forgiven myself for some unpleasant things I'd done, I realized that you can never truly understand your humanity until you get into a state of sporadic madness. I'd even conclude that you are never truly a human being until you get into this state. Because nobody's perfect. Yet, most of my earlier years, I made great attempts to be. I was almost successful in trying to be proper as humanly possible. Many even thought I was too-good-to-be-true (by doing so). Some cynics around me even insisted there were ulterior motives behind my actions. Some even took closer look at my every move to catch me red-handed. Like the dot on a clean bond paper... the mistakes I made are what people rather use to define me. At least, this is how I was made to feel.

Ecclesiastes 7:16 makes lotsa sense: Do not be overrighteous, neither be overwise--why destroy yourself? That's why I started allowing myself to just be human. All I need everyone to understand is I also have moods. I also get angry. I also feel pain. Are these things only your privileges? No. Because I, too, am a person. A person influenced by emotions.

Can I just go on with my life not having to beg for understanding? Without having to explain or defend myself all the time? Must I simply not care about how people unfairly judge me and just tell and admit to myself I'd done some silly stuffs, therefore, I just deserve whatever judgment given to me?

There are really times it gets truly frustrating. Especially, when you know in your heart that you care. I wish I do not care, at all. Tell myself the same things most people tell themselves when people look down on them -- "you're not a loss" ..."I am blessed with so many friends so you can get lost!" ..."you're not worth my time" blah blah blah. How I wish I can just convince myself that people don't matter to me. Only they do. Sidewalk beggars even move my heart. I cry inside (often literally) whenever I see hungry street children selling sampaguita garlands in highways and knock on car windows when traffic light shows red. How much more my acquaintances...friends?

Lizzie would always tell me that I am (and will be) given no chance to prove myself by people who, right from the start, don't like me. There's no point in expecting they ever will. No great deed I can ever do to change the way they see me because they simply don't like me and I just gotta accept that. So, am only causing trouble to myself hoping that there is something that I can do to change the way they feel about me. Even if it costs me my life. Simply put irremediable. Stage 4.

Will just conclude this journal with this quote:

"when you meet a person for the first time, please don't judge them by their station in life. Because who knows, that person just might end up being your best friend."