The line between right and wrong had blurred.

You can reach all the things that you'd love but can't give to me. You chase all the things you can't have and I am a diamond closed tight in your hand.

I knew it! I never listen to my instinct. What? Is it because I'm that gullible...that people are taking advantage of me? I hate it! Dammit! Why do people deceive so much? You don't want to trust them and then they'd find a way stealing your trust. For what? To just waste it all away. How cruel! Just what is happening? I could just slam my head to the wall til it's smashed into small bloody pieces.

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it? It makes you so vulnerable. It opens your chest and it opens up your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up. You build up all these defenses, you build up a whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you, then one stupid person, no different from any other stupid person, wanders into your stupid life...You give them a piece of you. They didn't ask for it. They did something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own anymore. Love takes hostages. It gets inside you. It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, so simple a phrase like 'maybe we should be just friends' turns into a glass splinter working its way into your heart. It hurts. Not just in the imagination. Not just in the mind. It's a soul-hurt, a real gets-inside-you-and-rips-you-apart pain.

One trusted person betrayed my trust. All of it. And I don't know how to trust again.

I will not apologize for who I am.

Must I?

Sometimes, I want to pity myself for being myself. Not for anything, but because people don't find it easy to understand me. They always give different interpretations for each action I make. There are times that I rather just shut my world off. That way, nobody sees me, nobody questions me. I think it's better that way. I have to be sorry for myself that I can't allow the world to really get to know me. Because people in it almost always accuse me of having ulterior motive that at times I even start to doubt myself. Why can't they just take me as I am?

So much for a sad start. Still I am blessed for having people who believes in me. Just a few, though, but enough to keep me hanging. I just hope that people won't be too judgmental. None of us know any better. This is me. Live with it... take it, love it. hehe *shrugs*

"I'm sorry that people are so jealous of me... but I can't help it that I'm so popular."
- Mean Girls