Lately, I’ve been noticing how quickly people form opinions about each other. Not necessarily in big, dramatic outbursts, but in those quiet, passing thoughts we all have. Someone takes a while to reply to a message, and the mind jumps to, “They’re avoiding me.” A parent is struggling with their kid in public, and people around them start whispering or staring. A person speaks with a different accent or wears something unfamiliar, and there's already a label in someone’s head. It happens so casually, like it’s part of daily life.
I catch myself doing it, too. Sometimes I don’t say anything out loud, but the thoughts are there. And when I realize it, I feel disappointed in myself. Because I know how much it hurts to be misunderstood. I’ve been on the other side of that look, that tone, that assumption. I’ve had moments where I felt like no one even wanted to hear the full story. They had already decided who I was or what I meant.
What’s troubling is that this kind of judgment doesn’t just sit there quietly. It leaks into how we treat people. It shows up in our tone, our posture, our silence. And over time, it creates this environment where everyone feels the need to explain themselves or prove their worth just to avoid being dismissed. That kind of pressure wears people down. It makes them retreat or shut off or become defensive, and then we blame them for being “difficult.”
There’s a verse in Micah that keeps coming back to me. It says we’re called to act justly, love mercy, and walk humbly with God. That line about loving mercy stands out. It doesn’t say to occasionally extend mercy when we feel like it. It says to love it. To actually value being gentle and understanding with others, even when we don’t have all the facts. That’s not something that comes naturally, especially when we’re tired or annoyed or busy. But I think that’s the point. Mercy doesn’t come from convenience. It comes from choosing to see people as HUMAN before we see them as anything else.
I’m trying to be more conscious of that. I want to be someone who doesn’t jump to conclusions, even when it feels easy to. I want to give people the benefit of the doubt more often. I want to interrupt that cycle where pain gets passed around through criticism and assumptions. I don’t always get it right, and I’m still learning, but I don’t want to keep contributing to the kind of judgment that made me feel small when I was on the receiving end of it.
If there's anything I want to keep practicing, it's to stay open, even when it feels easier to close myself off. It’s not always comfortable. There are times when I feel like it’s safer to just protect myself or keep my distance. But the truth is, most people just want to be seen for who they really are, without having to explain themselves or defend their choices. And that’s what I want to offer—just being there, without rushing to judge or assume, and without pretending to have all the answers. I want to keep showing up and being real with others than anything else.
If we can all do a little more of this, choosing to stay open and show up without judgment, it could really make a difference. It’s so easy to fall into the habit of sizing people up or thinking we know their story, but when we let go of that, we create space for real connection. We stop adding to the hurt that’s already out there and start offering something different—understanding, grace, and simply being present. It’s not always easy, but if we all make the choice, even in small ways, it could change the way we interact with each other and help break that cycle of judgment.
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