How the Need to Finish Everything Is Finishing Me

I didn’t realize I was doing it again. That thing where I treat life like a string of urgent tasks—one after another, no pause in between. Where everything feels like it needs to be done now. Not later. Not when I’m ready. Now.

Sometimes, even when there’s no real deadline, something in me still speeds up. Still wants to check it off, clear it out, get ahead. Because if I don’t stay ahead, I feel like I’m already behind.

And sure, from the outside it might look like I’m just being productive. Responsible. But it’s more than that. It’s this constant undercurrent of “don’t stop.” Because if I stop, I’ll fall behind. And if I fall behind, I’ll never catch up. And if I never catch up, what was the point of trying in the first place?

It sounds dramatic when I say it out loud, but this has been the rhythm of my days lately. Work has slowly taken over everything. I eat while working. I think about work while doing other things. I try to rest but end up remembering something I forgot to do.

I started feeling like I was only “okay” if things were finished. Like the only way I could breathe was after the list was clear. Except the list never clears. It just reloads.

 

That’s when I knew something was off. This isn’t just about time management or responsibility. It’s about control. The kind of control that makes you believe you have to keep things moving at all times. That you can’t afford to slow down. That rest is for people who’ve finished everything—and you never really do.

But here’s what I’m finally facing... I’ve been living like everything depends on me. And it doesn’t.

“Be still, and know that I am God.”

— Psalm 46:10

That verse always seems to show up when I least want to hear it. Be still? In this chaos? With all the pending things? Be still, when I’m trying to keep everything from falling through the cracks?

Yes. Be still. Not because everything is done. But because everything doesn’t have to be.

God is still God, even when I haven’t crossed everything off. God is still working, even when I step away.

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding.”

— Proverbs 3:5

That “lean not” part has been pressing on me. Because my understanding tells me: hurry. Finish it all. Don’t leave loose ends. But that’s not trust. That’s fear disguised as urgency. And honestly? The more I give in to it, the more anxious I feel. Because no matter how fast I go, peace never comes at the end of the task list.

So now I’m teaching myself to pause. Not because it’s convenient. Not because I want to.
But because I have to. For my soul. For my sanity. For my actual life that’s slowly getting swallowed by “just one more thing.”

Letting go of control doesn’t mean I stop caring. It means I start trusting. That God sees what I can’t finish. That He fills in the parts I can’t hold up. That He’s not measuring me by my pace—but by my willingness to rest in Him.

And maybe that’s what today is asking of you too.