I am holding on, but barely.

Struggling and gripping anything just to keep it together for another day.

I function like a robot. Tears involuntarily drop. My heart feels like it's breaking into pieces... and then again... over and over. The pain is just so unbearable that I want to be over it. Escape it. But how?

He proved to me I wasn't as tough as I thought I've become. And, this episode is forcefully teaching me to be. 

I gotta get over it before it pulls me further down. Before I become so accustomed to being mastered by this strong emotion that I, one day, simply give in. 

I will give myself time to grieve. I won't try to be strong. I won't bother about tomorrow, or the next week, or the next month. I will just keep it together, today. And may the Lord allow my heart rest again.