If you wake up at a different time in a different place, could you wake up as a different person?

Up to the last minute of 2007, everything had been all about FOOD.

After my previous post, there had been sequels of food trip. Each time, I'd said, "after this...I won't eat anymore." Easier uttered as always. Especially, when it's about eminently piquant dishes. Food was something like running after me. They're ubiquitous... unfortunately for me. Hah. Sound like I didn't enjoy. Well, how about those moments of non-stop masticating, huh? Guilt just come after...habitually. A bit too late.

Here's our KR spree...

Now, you see it...

...now you don't

tempting

hmm yum

...there were still more food frolic after but no snapshots to show. Heh. Meaning...no evidence for me. Just this extra fats around my waist, though. *sobs* More pants are getting harder to put on, which tells me, I badly need to move around and do crunches.

Well, am proud to say that the first thing I did this start of the new year was to workout. About 45 minutes with all the noises outside; I was starting my daily dozen. No, that's not my NY's resolution. Don't have any, actually. I rather call it 'agenda'. Hope to keep up with it the entire year. A call for more discipline.

For NY's Eve, these were what's on my dining table:

...but they all have to wait until later to be gobbled, so at this moment, they're all sitting inside the fridge.

I am not into traditions and beliefs. Like there has to be a variety of round fruits on the table to make the coming year a prosperous one. I just don't believe that. Just how many people have been doing this yearly? Truth is, prosperity all depends on us. So, nothing round on the table except the plates and bowls...and of course, the yummy pan pizza.

Didn't wear polka dots either. heh. I thought the idea was cute, but I was too scared to stay in my room longer (because of the loud booms) to find a polka dot top (or dress). In fact, I wasn't even dressed to the nines. For what? To sleep after? Nah!

No firecrackers even. Am trying to spare my nose of thick and dark boogers. But, I failed. Thick smoke successfully sneaked inside the house. So, I was like choking while doing the stationary walk.

2:50am of Jan 1: "Life or Something Like That" is what's on Studio 23 (next was Bedazzled a few minutes before I was almost finished writing the blog entry). Nothing good to watch and am not in the mood to do movie marathon. Not now that am the only one awake. I just want to break the silence so I let the TV on.

It's 2008. Although, nothing seems to be different (just there were incessant blasts earlier but now it's just my TV dominating the room), it really is a new year. *shakes myself* How swiftly 2007 went by, isn't it?

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Glimpse on the previous year...

January: I was just so controversial the year before and have become more a hot potato. There were rumors left and right. Eventually, started becoming depressive.

Struggles and dilemmas came in battalion and it felt like they're never gonna leave me. In fact, they've become good friends of mine.

February: More pain. Endless crying. More unpleasant news. Almost lost hope. Yet, still tried showing a (forced) smile.

March: Another dilemma -- Should I stay or should I go? Everything was like leaving a crack on the walls of my already bruised heart. What was keeping me? What was there to hold on to?

April: Finally decided and said goodbye.

May: Struggling to move on and forget about the horrible experiences. Had a hard time believing all that happened to me in that rotten place. Twas tough, but it unleashed the resilience I have within.

June: A ray of sunlight. I have started to bounce back. I've learned to fight. But, like a neophyte, I had done things a bit overboard. Was driven by fear and need for self-defense. Later on, learned how to do things the right way.

Once again, acquainted with myself.

July: Good things started saying hello to me and I welcomed each one with both arms wide open. There were still stings left, but I have become stronger by the day.

August: Faith has started to grow back inside me. Started seeing things in a different perspective. Learned new things everyday. Learned more about myself and my strengths everyday.

September: Inch by inch got out of my box. Lesser gloomy days.

October: Learned that things might have changed and things might have improved but it doesn't mean there's not going to be any struggles anymore. Still, I have to get up every morning and go on.

November: Been a lot busier. Was sick every now and then. Almost always stressed, but nothing stopped me from appreciating how GOD granted my heart's desires one by one.

December: Realised how God loves me so much that He lifted me up just when I needed a hand. Just when I was so low and lost; feeling worthless. He has always been with me through all those circumstances. I understood HIM better the previous year. I learned and understood what HIS grace is all about.

While I was dwelling in sadness and disappointments, God was with me. He sent people who, by and by, touched my life. Taught me not to be too critical with myself. Took me a long while before I learned that whatever I do, people are always going to talk and there's just no way I can stop them. Figured out, it's their way of protecting themselves. They mess with another to cover their personal issues, their envy, their own disabilities. Their most effective weapon is their tongues.

The world is a battle ground. Whoever is the fittest survives. If you're weak, it is just not the place for you. The world is not the place for me. Not because I am weak. But, because I refuse to learn the ways of the wicked. I want to remain a child and not become a monster. To be in this world, how can you not act like a beast even for one brief moment?

But I cling to this... The Paradoxical Commandments by Dr. Kent M. Keith

People are illogical, unreasonable, and self-centered.
Love them anyway.

If you do good, people will accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.
Do good anyway.

If you are successful, you will win false friends and true enemies.
Succeed anyway.

The good you do today will be forgotten tomorrow.
Do good anyway.

Honesty and frankness make you vulnerable.
Be honest and frank anyway.

The biggest men and women with the biggest ideas can be shot down by the smallest men and women with the smallest minds.
Think big anyway.

People favor underdogs but follow only top dogs.
Fight for a few underdogs anyway.

What you spend years building may be destroyed overnight.
Build anyway.

People really need help but may attack you if you do help them.
Help people anyway.

Give the world the best you have and you'll get kicked in the teeth.
Give the world the best you have anyway.

2008...I will become what I ought to be. Will try to be without fear; in stead, only with faith, hope and love. I have a few things in my list of this year's agenda. I won't promise but I believe with all my heart that I can do them with God's grace.

Like me, I'm sure most of you have felt you have had more pains than comfort the previous year. So, we all thought. But, no. It's only we chose to dwell on the very things that make our life miserable. We gotta throw garbage away. We ought to become better persons each day. Whatever hampers us from becoming what we ought to be should be eliminated. That's the only way to move forward. Learn but never become bitter.

I love 2007 and I will love 2008 more because I am looking forward to what GOD has in store for me.

Happy New Year all.

Current mood: Sleepy but still energized.