~ My Green Room ~: Eye irritant.

It's such a slow day and there's nothing much to do. Had just finished posting on forums and still one blog waiting to be done. Only I am too lazy to work on so, I thought to rant my thoughts out about an article a friend had me read two days ago. This friend I am talking about is someone who shares the same thoughts as mine. Surprisingly, he can understand my deepest thoughts and I sincerely appreciate that. Very few people are interested about another's thoughts and feelings because they're too engrossed with their own selves. So, having this friend is something.

He sent me this site that talk about "Psychopaths". (Will include excerpts from the article here) In my previous post, I made a mention of someone who I tagged as such. After reading the link my friend sent me, it dawned on me that, yes, the person I was referring to as psychopath may be really one. The title of the article is "Help, I'm Surrounded by Jerks" scribbled by Stephanis Rosenbloom. The author was very descriptive with her words that me and my friend got really entertained while reading the self-help article, though, basically, the article was more of like promoting Rosenbloom's books. Here's the introduction and for me this is the best part!

"CERTAIN mortals have the power to sink hearts and sour moods with lightning speed. The hysterical colleague. The meddlesome neighbor. The crazy in-law. The explosive boss. A mélange of cantankerous individuals, they are united by a single achievement: They make life miserable."

The second paragraph contains words such as "nitwits" and I'm kinda off with those words so I rather not include it here.

"They are the office Cassandra who predicts doom for every project her team initiates, the intimidating boss for whom nothing is ever good enough"

This made me wonder how authors of self-help books came up with their ideas. They must have dealt with different psychopaths all their life. I mean, they completely understand how bullies and jerks act and react. Of course, they made long, rigorous studies and researches but what could've enticed them to learn about such people? I am not sure but so far, I haven't read a lot of articles or books that talk about too happy people. Just the self-help stuffs that teach about how to be happy. People with very good dispositions are mentioned of course but no book I know of that discuss about so happy and content people.

"They’re very disruptive"

Yes, they are indeed disruptive! I so agree this is for a fact true. In most cases, they cause others to feel bad about themselves. They are just so talented in making another person's life far less comfortable. There's just so many ways they can find to make someone feel damn low.

"...rather than seeing the office curmudgeon or the post office nitpicker as the sum of their most wretched behavior, it is better to think of them as full people, even to empathize with them, if only to maintain some sense of control."

This one...I don't agree! Have done this almost my entire life and I want to quit already! Did they even think it's that easy to do? Yes, she did mention this kind of advice would only get this response, "easier said than done". Yes! It is absolutely, definitely, certainly, easier said than done! Because just like what she (Rosenbloom) said, we will always find difficult individuals everywhere we go. In every workplace, there's at least one or two. Damn! So far, I've met three in the same worlplace! Goodness gracious! The author also mentioned that there's equal distribution of these people. Unbelievable! Which only means, I can NEVER escape them...anyone of them! Good luck to me!

"Yet, some scholars say, the problem is not the difficult people themselves. It is you."

And why me? Why is it the victims are now being blamed as the problem? Ok yes, because we allow these people to do the things they're doing to us. Yes, because we just don't fight back. Yes. i know all these things and for everyone's information, I used to be a loner, passive, oblivious person. Believe me each time I say I have heard every possible insult that can be hurled to a beautiful girl! (don't mind what I just said) Isn't this enough proof that I've had more than enough? More than anyone can endure? I have. And I don't want to have anything to do with them anymore. I want to retreat and completely shut myself off. The problem is, there is just no way I can do this. *frowns*

“Some people really are bad people”

I must agree! And this is actually what I keep telling myself whenever I feel bad because of some reckless, unfeeling, insenstive freaks. And because I am a self-critical person, I tend to blame myself most of the time for another person's actions so, I also have to keep reminding myself of this fact so I won't lose my self-esteem. I always tell myself, it must be me. It must be because I was like this and like that and all other alibis I could think of to cover for the person's jerky actions. Weird.

“Thank You for Being Such a Pain: Spiritual Guidance for Dealing With Difficult People”

Another recommended book to read...

"...find a way to communicate with these people because they are not going away."

Another suggestion but promise, it's not really easy! Been there, done that! Bullies become more abusive when they sense fear in their victims. Sometimes, you just got to be showing toughness and prove them you're not a push-over to teach them a lesson. Doormats don't survive very long these days so, put your armors on and fight for your lives! And I also have to add that bullies, psychopaths...whatever you may call them, are mostly conceited individuals. They don't listen. They're also narcissists. What good will it cause if one attempts to talk things out with them?

"...there are those who think they are powerless, that their ideas go unheard or are dismissed and who believe they are not valued, feelings that can turn into chronically difficult behavior."

Is this statement describing me? I honestly think my ideas go unheard and are not valued. But I hope I won't become a difficult person like someone I know. Yes, I believe that "the core of everyone's personality consists of many selves." And many other factors so, difficult people could be the sum total of many bitter experiences and heartaches. I have to give them that. But I also believe that we are all responsible for our own actions and how we are making others feel when we do something. Again, adults should act as adults. We have to use our heads and hearts. Go back to my previous post and look for the quote about "manners".