On LOVE

iBelieve.... My heart believes that love is a choice. Love is an act of selfless giving without expectations. Love is sacrifice. Love is seeing the best interest of another. It is not a feeling. Not a reaction to wonderful gestures of love from another. It is just a natural thing that drives one to do things willingly for another person out of a strong desire. An inexplicable desire to do something for someone for no reason at all but itself. It doesn't wait for anything to prompt it to function. It just does without needing an outside force to switch it on.

iPonder... What do you call a love that's looking for a reason? One that waits til a person does something to deserve the privilege of receiving love from the loved object? ...if it demands reason before it can give? Is it love?

iExpress... At this point, I feel like I need to be loved more. I feel like I've been drained from giving too much and receiving little. Yet, I am too cautious that I might just keep sucking affection from anyone available only because I am thirsty for it. Guess my love experiences in the past have caused so much trauma in me that every single decision involving love frightens me. I can't see myself standing anywhere between love and not loving. Am scared to love again and I am scared of not loving. This makes me so frustrated.

iProbe... But, as I remind myself that love is a verb...confusion kicks in. Must I decide to do it because it's an action word or must I wait to receive it because it's a noun...a thing? Or, the question really isn't about choosing what to do? ... but rather who to give it to?

Don't fondle my trigger then blame my gun.

“You're going to meet many people with domineering personalities: the loud, the obnoxious, those that noisily stake their claims in your territory and everywhere else they set foot on. This is the blueprint of a predator. Predators prey on gentleness, peace, calmness, sweetness and any positivity that they sniff out as weakness. Anything that is happy and at peace they mistake for weakness. It's not your job to change these people, but it's your job to show them that your peace and gentleness do not equate to weakness. I have always appeared to be fragile and delicate but the thing is, I am not fragile and I am not delicate. I am very gentle but I can show you that the gentle also possess a poison. I compare myself to silk. People mistake silk to be weak but a silk handkerchief can protect the wearer from a gunshot. There are many people who will want to befriend you if you fit the description of what they think is weak; predators want to have friends that they can dominate over because that makes them feel strong and important. The truth is that predators have no strength and no courage. It is you who are strong, and it is you who has courage. I have lost many a friend over the fact that when they attempt to rip me, they can't. They accuse me of being deceiving; I am not deceiving, I am just made of silk. It is they who are stupid and wrongly take gentleness and fairness for weakness. There are many more predators in this world, so I want you to be made of silk. You are silks.” ― C. JoyBell C.