Held by the Same Grace

Sometimes, the hardest thing to accept is that God also loves the person who hurt you.

Not because they were right. Not because what they did didn’t matter. But because God doesn't stop loving people just because they failed someone else.

And let’s be honest—that’s not the comfort we’re usually looking for when we’re the one left hurting.

It’s hard when you’re the one who got shut out, misjudged, betrayed, dismissed, or simply forgotten. Maybe they said something that cut too deep. Maybe they walked away without explaining. Maybe they made you feel like you didn’t matter, and now you’re left replaying the moment trying to figure out what you could’ve done differently.

And in those moments, it’s easy to assume God is standing closer to you than to them. Because you’re the one left bleeding. You’re the one trying to make sense of the silence, the distance, the shift in the relationship. You’re the one who stayed kind. The one who didn’t fight back. The one who tried to understand.

So naturally, you want God to step in and defend you. To show them what they did. To somehow make it fair again.

But God doesn’t always respond by showing you justice in the way you picture it. He doesn’t rush to pick a side like we do. He doesn’t pour out His love only on the person who got hurt. He pours it out on both.

He responds with mercy. Not just for you. But for them too.

And that’s uncomfortable—because it feels like grace is being extended to someone who doesn’t seem to deserve it. But that’s exactly how grace works.

It’s not because God is ignoring your pain. It’s not because what happened wasn’t a big deal. It’s because He sees something much bigger than the moment that broke you.

“The Lord sees not as man sees.
Man looks at the outward appearance,
but the Lord looks at the heart.”
(1 Samuel 16:7)

God sees the parts you’ve never spoken about—the ache, the restraint, the emotional weight you carried alone. And He also sees the parts of the other person’s life that aren’t obvious to you. Their fears. Their dysfunction. Their defensiveness. Their own wounds that haven’t healed right.

Most of the time, people don’t really set out to hurt others. But we all carry stuff. And when we don’t deal with it, we end up bleeding on people who didn’t cut us.

That doesn’t mean they get a free pass. It doesn’t mean you should ignore how it affected you. It just means that before you lock them into the role of "villain," it helps to remember that people who hurt others are often hurting too—just in different ways.

Sometimes they don’t know better. Sometimes they do, but they’re stuck in their own immaturity or pride. Sometimes they think they’re protecting themselves. Sometimes they just can’t face truth yet. We don’t always know. But God does.

And He is not turning a blind eye. He’s just working differently. Patiently. Quietly.

“He is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.”
(2 Peter 3:9)

You’re not being asked to just let it slide. And you're not being told to just accept bad behavior. You're simply being invited to stop carrying the weight of it as if healing hinges on them making it right.

Because what actually frees you is not seeing them change—it’s knowing God is still just, still good, and still paying attention, even when it doesn’t look like it.

Letting go doesn’t mean you’ve given up on justice. It means you trust that God’s version of justice is better. More complete. More redemptive.

“Do not repay anyone evil for evil…
If it is possible, as far as it depends on you,
live at peace with everyone.”
(Romans 12:17–18)

That kind of peace isn’t easy. It’s not passive either. It’s active surrender. Choosing to let God deal with the things you were never meant to fix. It’s not about excusing what they did. It’s about freeing yourself from being stuck in it.

You’re allowed to move forward, even if they never acknowledge what happened.
You’re allowed to heal without waiting for closure.
You’re allowed to stop wondering whether they understood your heart. God did.

And in time, maybe you’ll see that this isn’t about them getting off the hook. It’s about trusting that we’re all being dealt with—just in different ways. And in different stages.

That’s the kind of trust that sets you free.

Revisiting My Green Room: Returning After a 3-Year Hiatus

I've chosen to resume blogging after a three-year sabbatical. It's been a long time since I've written a post, and I'll confess that I was a little hesitant to get back into it. After much thought, I concluded that I missed the creative outlet that blogging gave, and I wanted to share my experiences with you all once more.

I began writing as a way to express myself. After that... I somehow intended it to be a platform for me to express my thoughts, ideas, and faith with a bigger audience. To be honest, I wasn't expecting to gain a massive following. I am terrified of being opposed to and judged. It's well recognized that when you make your life narrative public, you essentially give others permission to criticize your every move and I don't like to give people that free pass. Who does, right? But, I suppose, it's one of the simplest forms of self-expression—Introverts' Way. So... 

However, life intervened and I found myself putting my blog on the back burner. I hadn't realized how much I had missed it until recently. Yet, something tells me that it's a dead platform. So, I've been thinking about starting a vlog for years. In fact, I didn't actually think vlogging would catch on, though I was told it would. Someone suggested that I start one in 2014. Maybe it's simply not my personality so I gave a nod. I mean, I'd done TV shows, hosting, modeling, and others. Vlogging, on the other hand, makes me feel egotistical as I stare and chat to the camera by myself. To me it feels awkward.

It's already 2023... Looking back, I should have begun monetizing my social media platforms through vlogging sooner. 💭

Returning to blogging after such a lengthy gap was difficult, but I believe it was well worth the effort. I'm not sure how difficult it is to produce vlogs. I believe blogging is easier for me because I don't have to struggle when I'm introvert-ing. Even in that state, I can write. While it would need far more from me than I am capable of giving if I forced myself to vlog. I could give up on it shortly! While having a blog is like having a public journal where erasures are ok. Of course, this is my preference so maybe I am speaking with bias.

I like the idea of learning more about myself and my thoughts by writing. There were even occasions when I appeared to be arguing with myself. You know that moment when you realize you said something not so brilliant, but you only realize it after you have completed a few paragraphs? So, with a better idea, you kind of want to retract what you just said without having to delete the previous one in long paragraphs because you think you wrote it well?! 😂 I mean it helps me to evaluate what I believe in. Helps me grow as a person.

All of us desire to occasionally share our experiences with others. We find means to share our feelings about significant life events, our opinions on hot-button topics, or even merely to share our experiences as we try out new activities. For a variety of reasons, we wish to share life with others. It seems to be an inherent aspect of our relational nature as humans. So, I also have it.

While returning to blogging after such a long break was a bit daunting, it was definitely the right decision for me. I'm excited to see where this journey takes me and look forward to connecting with others along the way. AND, I hope not to take another long break again! 😂