We can be mended. We help mend each other.

“Because that happened to me when I was little, this is how I will now treat other people"; "Because so and so beat me up and hurt me a long time ago, that gives me the right to treat people the way I treat them, today"; "Because life was hard on me, life should be hard on everyone else around me"— does this sound/ look familiar? It's called victim mentality. When people choose to be the direct product of everything that happened to them, the direct product of every single pair of hands that hurt them. And the world, to these people, must bend over backwards in order to accommodate their wounds. Some people don't want to be loved; they just want to make the world pay.” 

- C. JoyBell C.

If God even exists, why is there so much hatred and injustice in the world? Why would a loving God allow too many bad things happening instead of going down and change all that?

Typical questions but pretty tough to answer. Agree?

When I heard of these questions one time again, I thought of the hatred certain people I personally know of have in their hearts and how much they won't let go of it. How they refuse to allow themselves to just forgive. No matter how long has it been in their hearts and so many wonderful things happening in their lives at the moment they still hold on to that feeling of hate.

Am not saying they have no basis for feeling the way they do. In fact, they have all the reasons to be angry. They'd been done wrong. And if I were in their shoes, am sure it's gonna be hard for me to just let it pass. There are even petty offenses that I find hard to forget. I'd often think how certain people just can be so reckless with another's feelings. Should they be bailed out as easily as that?

Justice shouts and echoes in our ears. We all think we DESERVE justice...for the things people done wrong to us. We want them to be punished for hurting us. We want them to suffer the way we did for inflicting us pain.

Evil exists in this world. And it's evil in the hearts of people that makes them do bad. And evil is done to multiply evil. When another heart is broken, there conceives hatred. It's just a matter of time that it gives birth to evil through actions and reactions.

I believe God offered FORGIVENESS so the problem of hatred will be solved. He first forgave us and He expects us to also forgive. He used to punish people in the ancient times for their wrongs almost immediately or required them to offer sacrifices to be forgiven. But, those didn't work. Their hearts were still filled with evil desires. They continued doing wrong as they pleased.

He sent LOVE into the world in the form of Jesus. The life of His Son showed how to defeat hatred. It's by denying Himself each time He's wronged. Denying His right to retaliate and defend Himself. It's giving importance to relationship than self. It's about selflessness. Love is humility. Love is accepting that the world is mad and crazy. That the world could cause so much harm because of evil that is in it but it shouldn't anymore be multiplied. It has to DIE [end].

Forgiving is ...evil being done to you, but you don't have to pass it on. It has to die in you. Hatred need not conceive and give birth to more evil. It can stop by choosing to forgive and let go and then repaying it with LOVE. This way, though evil may still exist, hatred need not multiply.

Now, how about INJUSTICE? Don't we all agree that injustice is done when the offender gets away with whatever evil he does? This is practically why we can't stop spreading hatred. Because we think offenders need to pay. But, God doesn't think that way. Truth of the matter is, we all need to pay for something. But, He doesn't meet us everyday thinking about how He can punish us just like how we go about our lives every single day thinking about how someone has done us a terrible thing and we require justice. We carry with us every single day the offense and the offender. Only later to realize that they're not the only ones we'll bump into in this world. There'll be more offenses and offenders along the road. All are just the same like us--HURT. So, we collect so much hate until we are consumed by it.

God wants us to renew our minds and replace JUSTICE with LOVE. Hurt people hurt people. They are not about relationships. They are about getting even. They just want repayment. That's why many people find it hard to TRUST. Because they're so filled with collections of offenses. Not knowing they're collecting junks. Things that are of no worth and eventually rot. So, they live every day of their lives stinking and unaware of it. But, those around them get affected.

When we don't forgive, hatred only grows bigger and bigger until it can't anymore fit in our hearts and it starts manifesting in our lives. We start rotting inside and the stench starts coming out. All the people we come across with receive this hatred through us--by hurting them or by being reckless with them. Usually in the form of harsh words, judgment, slander, stealing, bullying, snobbing, through animosity and hostility...and many others. Eventually, these people also end up broken. And they go out in the world bumping into other people and multiplying hatred.

Forgiveness puts an end to hatred. Where there is no hatred evil will not persist. We have been offered forgiveness. We also must be willing to offer it to help heal the world from the damaging hatred.   

 “The opponent strikes you on your cheek, and you strike him on the heart by your amazing spiritual audacity in turning the other cheek. You wrest the offensive from him by refusing to take his weapons, by keeping your own, and by striking him in his conscience from a higher level. He hits you physically, and you hit him spiritually.”  

- E. Stanley Jones, Gandhi: Portrayal of a Friend

 

  

I'm a little rose who grows in deep and difficult places.

“The desire to love someone always exceeds the desire to be loved by someone & that's exactly why we end up loving the person who doesn't deserve that LOVE.” 

 ―  Bombay Girls 

Maybe I'm thinking too much. Not sure. But, a very huge part of me is convinced that everything is just part of God molding my character. Some of my previous posts tackled about God isn't after my comfort but the perfection of my character. And it's not just for me, in fact. It's for everyone who claims to be Christians ― Jesus' followers.


Just looking at the second greatest commandment, "love your neighbor as yourself"...creates a lotta questions in my head and one of which is, "why did Jesus had to add 'as yourself'"? Why didn't He just plainly say, "love your neighbor"?


I've heard a few number of people complaining about difficult people in their midst. These difficult people make their lives seriously hard. And I feel the victims so much. Been there. Have encountered people who love to boss around, pick on others, slander, and all sortsa things that really test a person's patience. Twas the toughest, I must say.


Interestingly, at least based on my experience, whenever I retaliated, or just slightly avenged myself, or even just entertained the idea of getting back... I come out so WRONG. And, of course, I felt bad. I asked God why does it seem unfair? Others can and I can't. People do nasty things to me, and I must just let it pass. Let go. For some time I allowed excuses to allow me be the bad version of me. I told myself it's just but fair if I be a mirror to people. How they treat me is how I treat them. Thought it's a fairly good solution to the difficulty I was faced with.


Eventually, I was placed in a situation where I screwed up badly. I broke hearts ..... and God's heart. :(  I failed terribly. I looked at how a mess I was. And during that time, I felt I deserve NOTHING. Especially, not God's love. It brought so much emptiness in me. I knew in my heart I can't live without God. I knew what's wrong. And I thought I was so trapped ...as if there's no escape. Was looking for ways how I can redeem myself. But, God's love is truly unfailing. He proved me this. It's been hard for me to understand what grace means because I was simply like many people who have a wrong mindset ― that for as long as I am carefully following rules, am good. Am safe. God taught me, it's not about my performance. It's not about how many rules I successfully followed. It's all about His love. This I learned when I came to a point when I can't anymore list down a good thing about me. A time when I started to just keep referring to what I had done in the past but can't anymore do. I gave myself a bragging right to take credits only because I performed pretty well.


While I was erring, I noticed how I was so forgiving of myself. I told myself excuses like what the world allows everyone to use, "am only human". And a lot more other excuses there is. Including, "God has forgiven me, who cares who doesn't?" And, "who's not sinning?" All rationalization just so to bail me out of the errors I committed. Yeah, I was so forgiving of my failures and weaknesses. Although, there's guilt haunting me time and again.


All of us are so forgiving of our own mistakes, failures, sins, errors... none of us keep punishing ourselves for what wrongs we have done. That's how we are to ourselves. And that is because we have natural love for ourselves. We attend to our needs and we allow ourselves room to grow. We break a vase, we can simply forget about it when we don't realize how that vase could mean so much to its owner. Yet, we can let go easily and sleep soundly at night. The owner, on the other hand, could still be feeling upset but setting aside emotion because relationship is more important than the harm done. We almost never consider that. It could mean less to us because it's (the vase) not ours. And, yet when the same thing is done to us, we feel their same emotion. We realize that it's hard to trust again once trust is broken. In most cases, we can't anymore entrust the things we value most to the person who's careless in handling what to us is precious because we're kinda sure they're not gonna be responsible in taking care of it.


From looking at both sides, I got the answer to my question. Jesus added "as you love yourself" because like I mentioned earlier, we are forgiving of ourselves. We don't allow ourselves be weighed down by a mistake we committed no matter how small or big. Most, if not all, simply just shrug it off and say, "I'll just make up for it"...not realizing that we had probably broken something that's irreparable (once damaged) but very valuable to the one who owns it.


Those relationships that had gone bad...there's always someone wrong and someone wronged. And the one wronged almost always readily extend forgiveness for the sake of the relationship. So many say, it's martyrdom... it's stupid...it's madness... but, it's actually a reflection of how they love themselves. They readily forgive because they know they're forgiving of themselves. They understand that humans are prone to choosing to do wrong. They're not exemptions. So are their partners.


When God persisted in loving me, I realized what sacrifice He had to do and how painful it is to keep allowing Himself be wronged simply because He wants me. There's nothing so magnificent about me that He should want me, but He does. Period. He didn't require me to be anyone but myself. My messed self. And, the more amazing thing about Him, He is fully aware of my weaknesses and susceptibility to committing the same things but is still willing to trust me. He still has faith in me that I will do as Jesus did. God places more importance in His relationship with me than His right. That ignited my desire to extend grace, love and compassion to people. Especially to the unlovable.

The way God is so tolerant of my failings makes Him suffer for taking in all my mess. I always offend Him. And one of the terrible ways I offend Him is whenever I live in doubt and unbelief. Whenever I don't live in faith as if He's not true to His Word. And I know that if a close friend or a family member will not take me for my word, I'd really feel insulted and hurt. So, I know that God is badly hurt whenever I do wrong. And He sacrifice His feelings just so to maintain a relationship with me. He's been running after me. He's always waiting for me to come back. He never gave up on me. And He does all these things in spite of me.


Those times when I hurt God, though, I feel bad and guilty...I still am very forgiving of myself regardless how the crimes I committed may be unforgivable. If I am forgiving of myself, I must be forgiving of others because that's one way of obeying the command, "love your neighbor as yourself".