Wednesday, December 2, 2009

I'm a mess. I apologize.


I used to be afraid of sooo many things. That I would never grow up. That I would be trapped in the same place for all eternity. That my dreams would forever be shy of my reach. It's true what they say. Time plays tricks on you. One day you're dreaming, the next your dream has become your reality. And now that this scared little girl no longer follows me wherever I go, I miss her. I do.

I miss her because there are things I wanna tell her -- to relax, to lighten up, that it is all going to be ok. I want her to know that meeting people who like you, who understand you, who actually accept you for who you are, will become an increasingly rare occurrence. The people who contributed to who I am, they are with me wherever I go, and as history gets rewritten in small ways with each passing day, my love for them only grows. Because the truth is... it was the best of times. Mistakes were made, hearts were broken, harsh lessons learned, but all of that has receded into fond memory now.

How does it happen? Why are we so quick to forget the bad and romanticize the good? Maybe it's because we need to believe that the time we spent together actually meant something, that we were there for each other in a time in our lives that defined us all, a time in our lives that we will never forget. I can't swear this is exactly how it happened. But this is how it felt.









Thursday, November 12, 2009

Ah, you know me... am too lazy to hold a grudge.



I've decided to let go of my anger and all the pain. I've unknowingly hurt others by just holding on to it. Though I know in my heart that I am not yet healed, by choosing to be free, somehow, someway, I am moving on. I can't weep for the rest of my life. Because I wasn't born to feel pain all the time. Someday, I'll find courage to let everybody know that my real purpose is to love and not cry.

"Learn this from me. Holding anger is a poison. It eats you from inside. We think that hating is a weapon that attacks the person who harmed us. But hatred is a curved blade. And the harm we do, we do to ourselves."

~ Mitch Albom (The Five People You Meet in Heaven)







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A Love with a promise of permanence.

"...if any hear MY voice and open the door,  I will come into their house and eat with them,  and they will eat with ME." ...

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