Who? Me?

What's deep inside of you?

You are kind and sweet. You never give anyone a reason to dislike you and you have a healthy relationship with your lovers, friends and family. You hate to see anyone hurting and will help them at any cost, but you also know how to respect and take care of yourself.
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Real loss is only possible when you love something more than you love yourself.

You know what it's like getting up every morning? Feeling hopeless, feeling like the love of your life is waking up with the wrong "woman". But, at the same time hoping that "he" still finds happiness, even if it's never going to be with you.

- Hitch

When I was having a hunch that my X's seeing someone, I right off asked him about it. Tried everything just to make him confess. You see, I have a very strong intuition. Although he kept denying it, there was something that told me, he was not telling the truth. Yes, I gave him the benefit of the doubt and I gave him my trust, no matter how persistent the suspicion's lodging in my head at that time. And I believe it's the toughest, most courageous thing I have ever done in my life. Why? Because I know the truth will come out one day and it will hurt me big deal. Yet, I chose to trust. And I was right. His conscience might have consumed him that he told me the truth. I sensed how awkward he was feeling when he was confessing to me. He still cared til the bitter end. My only sentiment was he didn't talk things out with me -- his issues with my playing basketball, with Dada, with my being passive and many others. I mean, he never gave me chances to show him how much I care. Instead of telling me what he needed/wanted he chose to keep things to himself, which didn't help at all. I could've fought for him. But I didn't. It was my decision not to. You'd know if there's something worth fighting for. At that time I felt there was nothing. They say, you'll never know til you give it a try. How was I so sure? When I made him choose between me and her, he couldn't. He couldn't even tell me if he still love me. The one thing that could've made me hang on. I felt a twinge in my heart. Ouch! I had to let him go. There's nothing that binds us anymore. There's no love anymore. One week had passed. A phone ring. It was him. He wanted me back. This time I was the one unsure of whether I still want him back. Not because I didn't love him anymore, but because I didn't want to get the girl hurt. So, I gave him away. Told him that I thought it's better if I take all the pain since I was already in deep pain. I gave him away.

Somehow, it is important to me that I don't just force myself to someone. That I don't force a person to stay. It should be a voluntary act.

I always give someone away.

Whenever I watch romantic movies, witness couples kiss and make up, listen to a love song, I smile and feel good cause I know that love still works...if not for me at least for others.

- Ally Mcbeal