Why You Keep Going in Circles and How to Stop

You know that feeling when you wake up and realize you're living the same day over and over? Not literally, but it might as well be. You reach for your phone before your feet hit the floor and immediately start comparing your messy morning to someone else's highlight reel. You grab the same unhealthy breakfast because there's no time to think about it. You sit in the same traffic getting frustrated at the same intersection. You promise yourself you'll meal prep this weekend, you'll finally clean out that junk drawer, you'll start saving money next month when things aren't so tight.

But here's what I've been thinking about lately. Most of us aren't stuck because we don't know what to do. We're stuck because we keep doing what we've always done, even when it's not working anymore.

It's like when you keep buying things on Amazon to fill some emptiness inside, then feel guilty about the money you spent, so you buy something else to feel better about feeling guilty. Or how you keep saying yes to every request because you're afraid people won't like you if you say no, then you end up overwhelmed and resentful, snapping at the people you were trying to please in the first place. You know there's a better way to live, but you keep taking the familiar road anyway because change feels scary and unpredictable.

We tell ourselves the same stories about why we can't pursue that dream we've had for years. We check our phones obsessively, knowing full well it's making us more anxious, not less. We lie awake at 2 AM worrying about things we can't control, then drag ourselves through the next day on three cups of coffee and pure willpower. We buy another self-help book thinking this one will finally be the answer, but it ends up in the same pile as the other ones we never finished reading. We complain about feeling lonely while simultaneously turning down invitations because staying home feels safer.

Then we wonder why nothing ever changes.

The world has a million tips for this. Start fresh on Monday. Wait until you feel motivated. Declutter your space and your mind will follow. Make vision boards. Practice gratitude. But every time I read my Bible, I see something completely different.

"Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind." 

(Romans 12:2)

God isn't telling us to wait for better circumstances. He's telling us the problem is in how we think. The problem is that we keep conforming. We conform to what's comfortable, like staying in our comfort zones even when they've become cages We conform to what everyone else expects from us, saying yes when we mean no and smiling when we want to cry. We conform to our own excuses because facing the truth about our choices feels overwhelming.

I used to think biblical change meant I had to get my act together first, then God would help me. But that's backwards. God's way starts with surrender. Not the desperate kind when you've hit rock bottom, but the intentional kind that says, "I can't keep running my life this way."

It's like finally admitting you've been trying to fill a God-sized hole with Amazon packages, Instagram likes, and busy schedules, when what you really need is to stop running and let Him love you.

The world tells you to manifest a better life, to think positive thoughts and watch everything transform. But the Bible tells you something much more honest. It says your heart will trick you. It says the only truth that actually sets you free is found in Jesus. It says you need to be made completely new, not just rearranged.

"You were taught to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires, to be made new in the attitude of your minds" 

(Ephesians 4:22-23)

This isn't about trying harder to be better. This is about letting God change how you think about everything.

So if you're sitting there wondering why your life still looks exactly like it did last year, maybe it's time to look at what you haven't been willing to let go of. The need to have everyone like you, even if it means you disappear in the process. The habit of numbing your feelings with Netflix binges or online shopping instead of dealing with what's actually hurting. The way you keep yourself so busy that you never have to sit quietly with your own thoughts. The perfectionism that keeps you from starting anything because you're afraid of failing.

Change doesn't happen because you're tired of how things are. Change happens when you stop giving yourself permission to stay the same. And if we're being honest, most of us already know what God has been whispering to our hearts about. We just keep turning up the volume on everything else so we don't have to listen.

You can keep trying to fix the same problems over and over. You can keep waiting for that burst of motivation that will finally push you into action. Or you can try God's way, which has always been beautifully simple: listen to what He's saying, do what He asks, and keep walking forward.

There's no shortcut around the hard work of change. But there's grace for every step. Not the kind of grace that lets you stay exactly where you are, but the kind that meets you in your mess and pulls you forward when you finally stop fighting it.

It doesn't start with motivation or perfect timing or ideal circumstances.

It starts with surrender.

And maybe that's what you've been avoiding all along.