I blink to clear my vision.

God never allows pain without a purpose in the lives of His children. He never allows Satan, nor circumstances, nor any ill-intending person to afflict us unless He uses that affliction for our good. God never wastes pain. He always causes it to work together for our ultimate good, the good of conforming us more to the likeness of His Son (read Romans 8:28-29).  

― Jerry Bridges

I think the sweetest thing that can happen to anyone's to be freed from all the shackles of past pains. To move around lightly in the present. But, it's not an overnight thing. Like most things, it involves a process. Often, people want to rush things. They want things happening NOW. They want to skip certain phases and it frustrates them more. Not realizing that the more they wait for change to take place, the more it seems far from happening. There isn't really much to do but to continue living. Same routine. Life shouldn't be hindered by an event. Especially not by unpleasant ones. To reach a destination, one must continue walking and even with obstacles ahead ― Jump over them, take a detour, crawl under...whatever way possible ― CONTINUE. No circumstance must be allowed to take control of your life. Utilize every difficulty and turn them into opportunities. It's seeing beauty in the ugly.


Pain isn't gonna stop happening. We may try and find reasons for things or we may keep questioning why things hurt but none of these will help. I used to think that if I only get the answers to my questions, it would be a lot easier to go on. It won't be as painful. I was thinking that knowing can be a salve. I didn't believe the saying, "what you don't know can't hurt you." I realized it's just another excuse to allow myself remain in an emotion or condition or situation. It's comfortable that way. I got used to it and I resolve to just stay the same. But, life is like any computer game -- you move to the next levels. Each level has its own difficulty. Once you passed one, expect more difficult challenges in the next. Some challenges from the first levels may be present but they're easier to deal with. It's the tougher challenges that need more attention and getting used to.


Life has phases and you can't expect to encounter the same trials and problems as you move to the next. But, you gotta be wise in utilizing the "power ups" collected along the way. Challenges are meant to strengthen us not to weaken us. They're meant to make us more positive that whatever's ahead, we have the ability to face them.

 “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I have lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.' You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”   

― Eleanor Roosevelt

You will be a beautiful person, as long as you see the beauty in others.

“What the hell did you see in me?” 

“I saw YOU. That was all. Just you. Everything about you. And the entire package was everything I wanted. I didn’t want it altered or changed one bit. I just saw…you.”

―  One Last Chance 

Beauty can be seen everywhere even in the ugliest places and situations... simply by having the right set of eyes. The Bible says, 

"Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eyes are healthy, your whole body also is full of light. But when they are unhealthy, your body also is full of darkness." Luke 11:34 

"But if your eyes are unhealthy, your whole body will be full of darkness. If then the light within you is darkness, how great is that darkness!" Matthew 6:23

The way we view things makes a lotta difference. We can either see a situation positively ...or negatively. And depends on how we see a situation, that's how we respond. It's not the situation that ruins us, it's our attitude. If we don't realize and acknowledge this and make every effort to change the way we look at things, we are surely to end up filled with junk. 

It's a common excuse to blame others or circumstance for our failures or mess. A drug dependent pointing at his parents' busy-ness for his addiction. A teenage mom resenting her parents' separation. A womanizing husband ascribing his acts to his nagging wife. All these examples are nothing but lame excuses. We have been given free will to make our own decisions. We have the decision to either be influenced by outside forces or confront the issues we have within. Our responses to every situation we face reflect what we're made of. Our response to a given situation is based on our perspective ― how we perceive things. It's easier to pass the buck than to acknowledge one's own mistakes, it appears. 

I know of many "from rags to riches" stories. Those people didn't allow their circumstance to stop them from reaching their dreams. They did not wait for situations to change. They used their situations as inspirations to be better. They have the right set of eyes. 

Recently, I had a talk with a friend. She asked why bad things happen to good people. Sadly, I don't have the answer. But, what I know is, there's beauty in everything... only we have to find it. And if we can't really find it, we create it. Our vision is really limited. We can only see from an angle. Most of the time, we are positioned where the angle is bad. But, we need to remember that that angle is just a piece that completes the whole thing. 

There's this male friend who I've not seen for a while. He showed up one Sunday just to drop by and say hi. He asked about our common friend and said he wasn't receiving any mobile message from this friend anymore. All of us chanted, "he's really not replying to anyone!" I was surprised when he tried to convince us that this friend's replying to text messages because we all know that's not the case. He continued saying, "he replied to me once." I was impressed by how he rather see the positive instead of clinging to the negative. It doesn't matter to him whether our common friend replies frequently or rarely. What he sees is he does. 

Am also enthused by another person. Am just so amazed at how he CHOOSES to see only the good. He'd receive all sorts of discouragement, disparages, criticisms but what he chooses to hear are only what's helpful in building his hope. I asked him once about it and what he said was ...all the discouragement he's receiving only make him perform better. Whenever he's told he's not this and that...his response would always be "not yet, but soon."  In stead of sulking and hating, he uses the bad for good. Which reflects how good he is inside. How he sees things make him respond in an admirable way. 

There are times we can't really fool ourselves we're seeing only what's right in front of us ― unpleasant. No matter how we twist our lenses, it's just but that. Besides, we're really in a chaotic world. A world full of injustice, partiality, cruelty... but we're given a choice to have a better perspective. This doesn't mean we are to lie to ourselves we're not seeing what we're seeing. It's just choosing to draw the good in every bad. Seeing the beauty in the unsightly. Because there isn't any help in complaining about or sulking over what's not nice. But, if we rather change our perspective, we can respond far better; ultimately, improving our attitude and character. 

“In other words: Whatever the problem, be part of the solution. 

Don't just sit around raising questions and pointing out obstacles.”  

―  Bossypants 

 

  

   

Love someone but let them be themselves.

“I don't deserve you. I'm not made for relationships. 

I know I'm going to *&$# this up. 

I'm going to drive you away or do something to hurt you, 

and you'll be added to my list of people I screwed over. 

You should walk away now.” 

― Unwritten Rules

What I learned about love is it's always trusting... believing only the good. I never thought about this nor it ever entered my mind in the past. Sure, I heard about this idea. To many, this translates to martyrdom. I've got nothing to say about that. Well...possibly. But, isn't love really about "sacrifice"? God gave His only Son as a sacrifice for EVERYONE'S trespasses ONLY because EVERYONE is important to Him. "God is love", the Word says. Someone always gets hurt by loving because loving is doing and it is denying of self.

Going back to my first idea... how wonderful it is to be loved without attachment nor expectation of return. By simply being loved is itself a gift. You know the kind which requires you not to be anyone else but yourself ― when you're at your worst...the monster nobody will ever endure...yet you're still loved. And, you're like squeezing your brain for reasons why you're loved like that when you don't even think you're lovable. Then, you'd just start melting and wanting to become a better person.

I think that's how love works. You are moved and changed because of love. You can't be any better by earning love. That only will put pressure on you thinking you only deserve love when you're at your best. When there are reasons for it. I found out it's not that way. You can't change because you wanna be loved. That isn't possible. Maybe possible...but very temporal. Your real self will always come out. It's hard to always try to be your best for fear people won't like you. It's being loved that gives the desire to be a better person. It's being loved that melts the hardest heart. Love is without reason. If it has, that's not really love but attraction. You're attracted to a person because of certain qualities you thought a person has. But, when that certain quality is covered by other qualities that aren't so nice, attraction fades. 

Love never fades. Love never gives up. Because love is beyond reason. It's just is. 

I understood this quite well, actually. For a looong time, in fact. But, until I've experienced it first hand, I didn't completely believe it's possible in this world. And, this time, am not only talking about God's love. Well, guess, God really has a wonderful way to make people really experience things that are hard to believe. HE's funny and brilliant that way. I thought that I was the only person striving to love unconditionally. But, God is truly faithful. He gives the best gifts wrapped in regular paper instead of nice wrappers. 

I couldn't believe I'd ever experience being loved at my worst. Well, God never stopped loving me. So aware of this. But, I mean, when all those years I've been longing to be loved and accepted (by people) without me having to be always nice and all or without me having to always meet their expectations...I was so frustrated those times. Can't anyone be loved as they are anymore? Does love always have to require people to be a certain way? Twas tiring trying to be always your best because you're only as good as your performance and behavior. It's like you're always in an audition for a role...best foot forward or you're out. I felt that way. And, in my desperation I cried out to God. All those times I did, He assured me of His love. In fact, I'd been so content with that love. Until, He sent someone to prove to me that unconditional love exists in human form, too. 

With this person, I never have to be my best. Am allowed to be who I am ―  am allowed to think, feel, act, behave the way I want or the way I feel NOT what and how others want or expect. I felt freedom. And, that's a relief. Love allows you to just be who you really are without you having to worry not being accepted if they found out you're not the gift they're expecting inside the box. It's wonderful that way. Love is free. You need not work to earn it. Love is a gift. If you hafta buy it, it isn't love. So, don't sweat it. 

This person am talking about has witnessed the darkest side of me when crazy, angry, frustrated...etc. Funny how this person was still able to say "you're beautiful" after me lashing out for long minutes. You know what I mean? Who don't look for reasons to love me but just do. Yes, there are things this person likes about me but those aren't even the measure used to continue wanting to be around me and yeah ...loving me. Those, in stead, are used to see through me. They serve as reminders that storms come, but they don't last. Just like my behavior for the moment esp when I get too emotional. They're only for a while. There's still bigger truth about me that gets covered by my tantrums and mood swings. 

The one who truly loves believes in you not only who you are at a given moment but the real "you" inside. Even the "you" you're not even aware you are, in fact. They're the mirror to your soul. And their love changes you. Their love gives you the desire to be a better person. 

The love chapter in the Bible says, "Love never gives up on people. It never stops trusting, never loses hope, and never quits." Who could've thought I'd really experience this in this world? When all I thought I was the only person who desires to love this way...I was made to encounter this kind of love, which sounds only possible in romantic movies and novels. Stories that make people giggle but remain mostly fantasies. Love like this, I realized, is for real. 

Whenever I think about this person, I am learning more about love. Love is really a verb, like I'd said many times in my blog posts. It's "doing". When you're living in love and walking in it, you don't see anything else. You don't expect. You don't wait to see if it's worth what you can offer. It just comes out naturally. You don't need to be aware or alert all the time that you must love. It's just like breathing. You don't forget it. It's involuntary. This person is gifted with sooo much love. Pure love that doesn't require me to love back and to be always proper. In fact, I'd been cruel most of the time. Still, this person gets to say, "you're loving, compassionate, sweet, understanding, gentle...blah blah blah" even after all the harsh treatments and words received from me! How amazing is that?!

The Bibles says, "blessed are those who have not seen and yet believed". I've always believed in love because I believe in God with all of me. Well, am MORE blessed it seems... because I believed and then seen. ^_^

Skeptics and cynics, am sure, they're just gonna think and say there's ulterior motive behind. Can't and won't blame them. Like I'd always say, perspective makes so much difference. If they choose to see things in a negative way, they're free to do so. I wish them the best because LIFE can be seen beautifully with all its mess and chaos. It's just having the right eyes. It's just a matter of choice. And I say this because I was, myself, a cynic. Once seen the world only as a terrible place. I have new set of eyes! 

...and PLEASE, I am NOT in love or anything. Don't gemme wrong. I was just enlightened about things unimaginably TRUE. *big smile*