iBelieve.... My heart believes that love is a choice. Love is an act of selfless giving without expectations. Love is sacrifice. Love is seeing the best interest of another. It is not a feeling. Not a reaction to wonderful gestures of love from another. It is just a natural thing that drives one to do things willingly for another person out of a strong desire. An inexplicable desire to do something for someone for no reason at all but itself. It doesn't wait for anything to prompt it to function. It just does without needing an outside force to switch it on.
iPonder... What do you call a love that's looking for a reason? One that waits til a person does something to deserve the privilege of receiving love from the loved object? ...if it demands reason before it can give? Is it love?
iExpress... At this point, I feel like I need to be loved more. I feel like I've been drained from giving too much and receiving little. Yet, I am too cautious that I might just keep sucking affection from anyone available only because I am thirsty for it. Guess my love experiences in the past have caused so much trauma in me that every single decision involving love frightens me. I can't see myself standing anywhere between love and not loving. Am scared to love again and I am scared of not loving. This makes me so frustrated.
iProbe... But, as I remind myself that love is a verb...confusion kicks in. Must I decide to do it because it's an action word or must I wait to receive it because it's a noun...a thing? Or, the question really isn't about choosing what to do? ... but rather who to give it to?
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