"...you run out into the night to find another face, and another, and another, until one terrible morning you wake up and realize that revenge has become your whole life. And you won't know why."
It's 1:20am. Just finished reading Kellecker's comment. Of course I appreciate it. But, frankly, it made me feel bad about myself again.
Yeah, the forgiveness issue. They say, take that baggage off you so you can live peacefully. I know of all those things. And, maybe, it'll be very hard for me to just take advices when it comes to Greenie.
God knows how I feel about her. Yes, I have been very vocal about this bitterness and I really dunno how else to convince people that it's really not about time or me not trying. I never really understood why the other person has to be deserving of forgiveness until she came.
I now believe that the other person needs to be deserving of forgiveness. Am not referring to saying sorry or anything like that. Sorry is just like any other words. Just, at least, acknowledge you have wronged someone. Arrogance can really be annoying. Guess, no one can really understand where this ranting is coming from but Bud. Bud who, just like me, have seen what Greenie is really made of.
Am not a small-minded person. I am no short fused. Greenie gave me more than enough reason to feel this way about her. She knows. She was the one who pushed me this far and she also knows that she will never stop. Never will. For whatever reason. It's just her fulfillment.
I sound paranoid, I know. But, I don't wanna end up proving to myself (again) that I am right about this. Should've learned my lesson. Have to be kind to myself. I know I have already done my part. It's her turn.
(Am not upset with you, Kellecker. Don't worry. I hope you understand what I mean. And I know you're just not biased. You don't have any idea...Well...just whining here. Give me this. Haha...really sorry.)
..................................................................
On the lighter note...
Lilie already received the gift. Yehey. Hoped she really liked it, though. *big smile* Twas for her birthday (Nov. 20). Happi biwthdei tu yooo... hehe Take care of Kingkong (grr Whattaname?! LOL) and Jr Siobe.
Two Sundays ago, I came face to face with my crushie. *giggles* Was about to leave Cinema 5, pouting; saddened with the thought that maybe he was really moved to Pioneer. Just when I turned around he's right there walking towards my direction. Didn't know how to react. Grrr. Couldn't even smile.
so...There he was...passed by me. Oh well. What was I even expecting? Am just not the type of girl who would show any intention.
Last Sunday... no, I didn't see him. *sigh* Not that I have a big crush on him. I just miss him singing. Why did they even have to move him to Pioneer? but...No, I won't move to Pioneer only because he's there. Am already happy in Ortigas. *wink*
so, what is this babbling about, now?! grrr
..................................................................
Gotta zzzzz now. G'night all.