Love and relationships are supposed to make people better.

I'd often say, "relationships are hard to handle". And, I believe that when a person has too many friends, (s)he don't really have a genuine one. Why? Because if we can't even maintain a good relationship with a family member or the closest friend we have because of their flaws and all, how much more that many? Too many irrational conduct to put up with. We'd even often complain about certain behavior of a friend. And, when they touch a vulnerable part of us, we simply dump them as if they'd never done us anything right. Then, bland things will be said about them from our very own mouth. It's that convenient to spread around tattles to even the score. Only for one offense, which could be, in fact, only our own perspective, we can easily vilify them. A terrible habit of injuring another being only because we are too coward to fix misunderstanding through proper communication. How vicious.

"You have to walk on eggshells for people because that’s about how strong they are these days. And you can’t confront people, because if you do, that brittle shell of confidence will crack. So we all become passive cowards that carry a fake smile wherever we go." 

...Makes me sad.

But, I am choosing to be different. To love different. If a relationship matters to me, I will make a choice to be true to it. Whatever that may be, which I don't like about another...whatever a person might have done, which hurt me...they will know or hear directly from me. An effort will be made to salvage the friendship. Whatever it takes. Ridiculous as it sounds. May appear unpopular even, but I will. My stand is this: relationship is of high importance to God. If it isn't, He couldn't have sent Jesus to suffer here on Earth and die the way He did just because GOD wants to restore our relationship with Him and with His people. If relationship isn't important to God, I don't think there's any warrant for the tolerance and patience He extends to us everyday for our small and big failings. In fact, we always make a choice to hurt Him. We know what hurts Him, but we can simply shrug off the idea that we shouldn't hurt Him. Yet, we do, with our decisions. The wonderful thing is, He also makes a choice EVERY SECOND to forgive and let go of the pain we cause Him. And, the more amazing thing is this... He knows exactly what we're gonna do the next moment... He knows we'll fail... He knows we're gonna hurt Him again... He knows how wicked we are inside... He knows who we really are... Be that as it may, He still accepts us, forgives us, and loves us.

If I will have to find a reason why I should deny myself and my own rights merely to save a relationship with another person, it is more than enough motivation that God shows me how by unconditionally loving me. Undeserving as I am.

People find it hard to forgive when the person who hurt them never apologized or never proved to be repentant. What I have in mind is... when God forgave all my sins... when He thought of restoring His relationship with me by sacrificing an innocent man... He didn't wait nor expect that I apologize first. He just did. Now, why must I require anyone to utter the word "sorry" before I can forgive? It used to be hard, I must admit. But I realized it's effortless to do anything if I live under God's grace. Whenever I look at the cross, I am humbled. For the truth is, I am not worthy of love, especially, not the kind of love that God readily gives me.

What I do is, I'd always look at my state. The real condition of my heart. Who I truly am behind the closet. I see things about me nobody else knows but God. Then, it sinks in to me how God always have to put up with who I am. He never said, "I don't like you anymore", nor did He just stay far away and have nothing to do with me. He can always opt to. In stead, He showers me with more love and compassion. He sees my state and He offers me a new self so I can become beautiful from ugly...fragrant from stinky. So, I tell myself... LOVE makes everything beautiful. If we only learn to love one another, we can have this strong desire to beautify each other. We see a crack, but we don't walk away. An urge within drives us to adorn our brother until the crack is fully covered.

Although, we are unsightly in God's eyes because of our sins, He still sees the beautiful in us. And, I believe that the very reason why there's such a thing as LOVE is so that beauty will be seen in us. LOVE doesn't make us blind to the disagreeable. It just covers the bad, the ugly, so we can only experience the good and the pleasing.  

In a world full of noise, silence has always been my sanctuary...

“But some people are broken. They don't know anything other than hatred... It's like their heart gets going in the wrong direction early on in life, and they can never quite manage to bring it back around to love. It's a sad thing and we should have compassion for them. Think of the joy they are missing in life.”  

― Tess Hilmo, With a Name like Love

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Words like this helps strengthen me. Be more compassionate. People need it. But, it's tough. Yet, the Word reminds me, "Follow God’s example, therefore, as dearly loved children and walk in the way of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." [Ephesians 5:1&2]  And, it's not MY strength after all. "...be strong in the Lord and in His mighty power." [Ephesians 6:10] 

Oh, and whatever our current situation may be, there are so many things to be thankful for. It's a matter of perspective. I don't bite at situation comparison, btw.  The "at least I still have something to eat..." kind of excuse. Doesn't work for me. I understand that people have their own tolerance threshold. What hurts me may not hurt you. And, what you find unbearable may be petty for me. I believe that it's all about renewing the mind. When we get our focus off our own concerns, we'll come to an understanding that we only need to allow God to carry us. And that is something to be thankful for.  

So, am looking forward to another beautiful day. If beauty won't be obvious, I'll ask God to give me eyes to see it and heart to appreciate it.

Reminds me of this classic children's song. Sometimes it helps when we relive our childhood, agree?

Show me, Lord, what You want me to be. *big smile*

"Rules from the Cradle"

I wish it rained, rather, in the afternoon and not in the evening. But, am still thankful it did rain. So, I went to the mall and spent the entire evening at a bookstore. Photographed a few books I wanna read and wanna finish reading soon.And I so love this one...

I found the guy's online scribblings and it's as enjoyable to read. Just sharing. 

Am not really in a good mood to touch-type my thoughts tonight, so I'll just share the rest of the readings I've had. I was given this "prophecy" that I should be going back to my first love ― writing ― so, am trying my best to add numbers to my monthly posts. My first for this month. Hurray! 

Here goes my "plagiarism"...

“Nobody can say anything about you. Whatsoever people say is about themselves. But you become very shaky, because you are still clinging to a false center. That false center depends on others, so you are always looking to what people are saying about you. And you are always following other people, you are always trying to satisfy them. You are always trying to be respectable, you are always trying to decorate your ego. This is suicidal. Rather than being disturbed by what others say, you should start looking inside yourself…

Whenever you are self-conscious you are simply showing that you are not conscious of the self at all. You don’t know who you are. If you had known, then there would have been no problem— then you are not seeking opinions. Then you are not worried what others say about you— it is irrelevant!

When you are self-conscious you are in trouble. When you are self-conscious you are really showing symptoms that you don’t know who you are. Your very self-consciousness indicates that you have not come home yet.”

 ―From someone called Osho

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The Rules

One, if you’re afraid to fight, then you’ll never win. 

Two, in times of tragedy and turmoil, you’ll learn who your true friends are. Treasure them because they are few and far between. 

Three, know your enemies, and never become your own worst one. 

Four, be grateful for those enemies. They will keep you honest and ever striving to better yourself. 

Five, listen to all good advice, but never substitute someone else’s judgment for your own. 

Six, all men and women lie. But never lie to yourself. 

Seven, many will flatter you. Befriend the ones who don’t, for they will remind you that you’re human and not infallible. 

Eight, never fear the truth. It’s the lies that will destroy you. 

Nine, your worst decisions will always be those that are made out of fear. Think all matters through with a clear head. 

Ten, your mistakes won’t define you, but your memories, good and bad, will. 

Eleven, be grateful for your mistakes as they will tell you who and what you’re not. 

Twelve, don’t be afraid to examine the past, it’s how you learn what you don’t want to do again. 

Thirteen, there’s a lot to be said for not knowing better. 

Fourteen, all men die. Not everyone lives. 

Fifteen, on your deathbed, your greatest regrets will be what you didn’t do. 

Sixteen, don’t be afraid to love. Yes, it’s a weakness that can be used against you. But it’s also a source of the greatest strength you will ever know. 

Seventeen, the past is history written in stone that can’t be altered. The future is transitory and never guaranteed. Today is the only thing you can change for certain. Have the courage to do so and make the most of it because it could be all you’ll ever have. 

Eighteen, you can be in a crowd, surrounded by people, and still be lonely. 

Nineteen, love all, regardless of what they do. Trust only those you have to. Harm none until they harm you.

And twenty… Never be afraid to kill or destroy your enemies. They won’t hesitate to kill or destroy you.

―  Darling Cruel, Sherilyn Kenyon

Bear with me til next time.


Toodle-oo!

 

Everything you do touches someone in some way, even though you might not understand that.

God is truly everywhere. Not necessarily inside each person, though, as how I thought. This is too much to expect, I learned. And, truly, when I allow myself get blinded by my own expectations, I'll surely face pain. I learned that I have to open my eyes to the truth of each individual, believer or non-believer. They have truths that I should be aware of and accept. This way, I can make necessary precautions and adjustments.

Human nature. Every individual has complexities, own nature, personality, attitudes, character, and so many other things that comprise them as persons. These are what make them who they uniquely are. If I try to re-create them the way I deem they should be, I only hurt myself and I hurt God who created them and me. I believe that God did not make a mistake in creating anyone. Even those everyone sees as ugly, bad, evil. God designed each one with wisdom and in His likeness. Who am I to complain? Who am I to say, "you gotta change, my friend..."? If I do, it's saying, I am better than God for I know how should people and things be. I resolved that I am not here on Earth to criticize anything, especially, people. Each one has their own purpose for walking here on Earth just like God has a very special purpose for putting me in this world. Each person is carefully designed for God's very own purpose not for my pleasure nor for my own personal satisfaction. 

I don't have to understand people. I don't have to know why criminals do what they do. It is not for me to give reasons to things. I was not put here on Earth to understand mysteries. What I know is I am placed in this world because God wants to use me as an example of love and compassion. I don't have to look at other people whether they're doing their job or not. I can only do my part in warning them, but never to dictate to them what they should do. As I do the tasks God assigned me to do, I shouldn't be critical of other people whether or not they're doing their parts. I am only responsible for myself. I should always guard myself from comparing myself to others. I always have to give my best and my excellent but without taking pride that I am better than others. I am aware that each one is doing their best. Just like me, everyone is struggling to be better everyday.  God has been patient with me as HE guides me to become the person HE wants me to be. In return, I should also be patient with people as God guides them through change.

Every now and then, the nature of people will prick me. One, two or more people will hurt me with their behavior. That will surely cause me pain. But, how I respond is a reflection of who I am inside. Certain people are simply being used by God to expose what I truly am, which I am trying to hide or keep within myself. I can't say, "I only reacted this way because of this or that person." ..."had he not done that, I wouldn't have reacted the way I did." It's so wrong to think that it's because of other people or it's because of situations that we show a certain attitude or behavior. The good or evil we do comes from the good or evil things stored up in our hearts. Most of the time, God places us in situations so these things will be exposed. And it's not because HE wants to over-expose the evil in us; but it is in order that we can be aware of it and repent; then, HE can help change us inwardly.

It's a tough job to love. But, I believe the very reason why Jesus had to walk on Earth is to show us how. He loved the people even He saw their hearts. He had compassion for them. He did not judge them; in stead, He looked at them with mercy. How wonderful will the world be if people start looking at each other not with critical mind nor with judgment but with mercy, love and compassion.

Jesus said, “A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another." 

"God's work done in God's way will never lack God's supply."

"...I decided to open my newspaper and read about what was happening in the world. As I continued to read, it seemed that everywhere I looked there were stories of injustice, pain, suffering, and people losing hope. Finally, fueled by my tired, irritable state, I became overcome with compassion and frustration for the way things were. I got up and went to the bathroom and broke down.

With tears streaming down my face, I helplessly looked to the sky and yelled to God. “God, look at this mess. Look at all this pain and suffering. Look at all this killing and hate. God, how could you let this happen? Why don’t you do something?”

Just then, a quiet stillness pacified my heart. A feeling of peace I won’t ever forget engulfed my body. And, as I looked into my own eyes in the mirror, the answer to my own question came back to me… “...stop asking God to do something. God already did something, he gave you life. Now YOU do something!”" 

Life, the Truth, and Being Free

On LOVE

iBelieve.... My heart believes that love is a choice. Love is an act of selfless giving without expectations. Love is sacrifice. Love is seeing the best interest of another. It is not a feeling. Not a reaction to wonderful gestures of love from another. It is just a natural thing that drives one to do things willingly for another person out of a strong desire. An inexplicable desire to do something for someone for no reason at all but itself. It doesn't wait for anything to prompt it to function. It just does without needing an outside force to switch it on.

iPonder... What do you call a love that's looking for a reason? One that waits til a person does something to deserve the privilege of receiving love from the loved object? ...if it demands reason before it can give? Is it love?

iExpress... At this point, I feel like I need to be loved more. I feel like I've been drained from giving too much and receiving little. Yet, I am too cautious that I might just keep sucking affection from anyone available only because I am thirsty for it. Guess my love experiences in the past have caused so much trauma in me that every single decision involving love frightens me. I can't see myself standing anywhere between love and not loving. Am scared to love again and I am scared of not loving. This makes me so frustrated.

iProbe... But, as I remind myself that love is a verb...confusion kicks in. Must I decide to do it because it's an action word or must I wait to receive it because it's a noun...a thing? Or, the question really isn't about choosing what to do? ... but rather who to give it to?

Don't fondle my trigger then blame my gun.

“You're going to meet many people with domineering personalities: the loud, the obnoxious, those that noisily stake their claims in your territory and everywhere else they set foot on. This is the blueprint of a predator. Predators prey on gentleness, peace, calmness, sweetness and any positivity that they sniff out as weakness. Anything that is happy and at peace they mistake for weakness. It's not your job to change these people, but it's your job to show them that your peace and gentleness do not equate to weakness. I have always appeared to be fragile and delicate but the thing is, I am not fragile and I am not delicate. I am very gentle but I can show you that the gentle also possess a poison. I compare myself to silk. People mistake silk to be weak but a silk handkerchief can protect the wearer from a gunshot. There are many people who will want to befriend you if you fit the description of what they think is weak; predators want to have friends that they can dominate over because that makes them feel strong and important. The truth is that predators have no strength and no courage. It is you who are strong, and it is you who has courage. I have lost many a friend over the fact that when they attempt to rip me, they can't. They accuse me of being deceiving; I am not deceiving, I am just made of silk. It is they who are stupid and wrongly take gentleness and fairness for weakness. There are many more predators in this world, so I want you to be made of silk. You are silks.” ― C. JoyBell C.